I was hesitant to reply to this thread, even though I feel strongly about the issue... I understand that you do not do this out of disrespect and that it heightens your excitement to call someone "whore" and "slut," but unless you are meeting a girl who specifically advertised as a PSE provider / "your submissive little slut" (actual quote) or anything else equally explicit that clearly signals that she would like this kind of treatment, I don’t think you should do it. At the very least, you should discuss it with her upfront (though NOT before meeting, as sending any explicit inquires will assure that no reputable ladies will meet you, as I’m sure you already know – but in person).
The general consensus on TER is that you are paying for a “fantasy.” The women in this business work hard to make your dreams come true and to make sure you leave happy. Ideally nobody should do anything they are not comfortable with, but in reality we know that is not always the case. The smart guys among you make it a point to provide a Boyfriend Experience and they are the ones that get the most of our time and attention, as well as our respect.
If you could be a fly on the wall in one of our “girls only” talks, (or have access to the PO board) you would hear about how much we enjoy many, many aspects of this job, but also how some things make us want to leave for good. Most women (myself included) find some dirty talk sexy, but I think describing the action and giving instructions is about enough. Any kind of name calling is a major turn-off and absolutely off-limit for most of us in this context. I have not yet heard a woman ever say, “I had such a great time yesterday, this hobbyist came to my hotel room, called me slut and whore and whatever else, and I loved it.” It is not a female fantasy.
Some girls may tolerate it, others may even pretend to like it, but in general women are not raised to believe that being a "whore" and a "slut" is something to be proud of. When a girl starts working as an escort, she may feel guilty about the financial aspect of it, and may already find it difficult to hold onto her self-esteem. I know I had my struggles with this when I joined an agency for a short while and suddenly I had no control over who I was seeing and how I was treated, and getting paid for it made it all the worse. Meeting someone who will call her all the foul names in the book in the heat of passion is not going to be an ego boost to any woman, so I absolutely see your friend’s point about newer girls being upset and crying over this.
I’m sure it would be equally offensive if the situation was reversed. If you were seeing an escort and she randomly and unexpectedly blurted out “yeah, trick” or called you anything other than your name, it would probably not sit well with you either…
I had two unpleasant experiences with this. The first time I was so taken aback that it took me a few minutes to stop him and tell him how uncomfortable he was making me. He apologized but “slipped up” again a few times. I have not agreed to see him since and that meeting made me get into the habit of reading any TER member’s reviews if they are available, as generally they are a good indication of his likes and dislikes… If I had read his reviews before meeting, I would not have accepted the date, simply because there was a lack of compatibility. The second time I ran into someone with a similar interest, he was not a reviewer and obviously there was no discussion of “likes and dislikes” between us before meeting, but I wised up by this time and as soon as the name calling started, I explained to him that just like I would not call him “john,” “trick,” “monger” or anything else derogatory, I expect the same in return. He understood it right away and we have been seeing each other since.
There you have my 2 cents' worth of long explanation, take it for what it’s worth. 