Hello everyone

I have a question for the gentlemen of this hobby. I like to stay safe, so I don't really feel comfortable inviting someone over unless I have somehow screened them first. This becomes somewhat of a problem because some men don't want to give any personal information. Or they don't want to give a provider reference for fear she might get "jealous".

This leaves me in between a rock and a hard place. What are some other ways (without meeting in person first) you would suggest to be screened?

If you are on the TER whitelist, then kudos, because that makes it super quick and easy!

I wish everyone felt the same way, then the world would be a perfect place...

I know how you feel. I really wish I could do all this with a fake name, for a variety of reasons. I totally understand why you all want to know who we really are, but it makes me very uncomfortable to give out my name, phone number, and work info. I once had a provider call my work to verify me and apparently the conversation was odd enough that the receptionist mentioned it to me later. I also had a girlfriend go through my browsing history and call some of the providers I had looked at and call them trying to figure out if I had seen them.

As a result I’ve become pretty paranoid and resigned myself to not seeing the high end providers, because they generally, understandably, do the most rigorous screening. But it seems that the second tier providers are a lot more likely to use fake photos and misrepresent themselves in their ads, so my experiences that past year or so have been generally pretty unsatisfying.

it never occurred to me that a reference from another provider might make that provider "jealous" of your seeing me.

but i first heard of that from a brand new (and great) lady whom i just had a wonderful date with.  we spoke about this very thing, getting screened and white lists, and she told me that sometimes when she calls a provider reference, they would accuse her of "stealing' her client (apparently, not my references, i guess i only hand with the classy ones lol!)

but it would seem to me that this should be a business first and an emotional committment 23rd or so.  if a guy wants a new experience i wouldn't expect a reference to put up a fuss.  unless she's so insecure in her own abilities to make me want to come back for more.

oh well, people are people i guess no matter the situation.

as to your question jazzy, there's always p411 and datecheck, tho i don't make use of them myself, having quite a few white list references personally.

ps love your pix jazzy!

I agree,  TER whitelisting is a great resource that makes seeing someone so much easier!

You can contact the TER providers in question and do your due diligence that way.

...not emotional (like they have more going on than the typical client-provider relationship). There are many immature providers "afraid" of a client especially a well-paying regular will stop seeing them permanently.
I would think there's plenty to go around so i'm not fussy about giving them or receiving them.


-- Modified on 12/16/2012 1:40:31 AM

Whitelist Rocks!

Makes life so much easier for me and speeds up the process. P411 & Date check are great too. I love anything that speeds up the process.

Xoxo,

Natalie

Re: Whitelist Rocks!

I've found screening to go much faster since I've been white listed.   But I also figure the trust is a two way street.   I don't want to be arrested, or outed, but I know the provider wants to feel safe.   I figure if they need my my name and info to feel safe, it's the risk ill take.  

But also, I only visit providers I've learned of or met through here, or checked through here.   If they don't have reviews, I don't make plans with them.

i am not fooling myself at all, i know its all about the benjys.

but still i would think a lady secure in herself would know i would come back if she provides a great service

I like leaving a small margin of error. Try to stay away from absolutes lol -e-

-- Modified on 12/16/2012 10:24:08 AM

Re: Whitelist Rocks!

I recently had to pull the plug on a provider who was on my TDL for years bec she insisted on my name and work info even with 40 posted reviews and many whitelist referrals.

I would think that as well but you would be surprised how many references will not get back to a provider in a timely fashion or not at all.These are the same providers who will ignore a reference request and then contact the gent and bother him on why he is not seeing her?
I provide references and ask for them as well I 100% agree with you if a provider is secure in her business and provides a great service there should be no issue.Awww...if it was only that simple!

Re: Whitelist Rocks!

Well you never know what this issue sometimes.  I was trying to book with one girl, went through her whole screening process (long form with a bunch of stuff I've never been asked before), and then NEVER heard from her.  Only time that has happened.  Go figure.

DG

White List works for me or just a PM helps a lot "")

It's the most common thing I hear.... never heard back from your references, but other sites provide something similar to a whitelist.  A successful and secure provider should never be worried about having enough roses in her garden.

Yeah it is a tough situation lol. I completely understand when men don't want to give their real life information, but its unfortunate that I would have to decline seeing what could have been a perfect gentleman.

While I'd love to accommodate anyone who was polite and took their time to contact me, it is just a risk I can't take. The way I feel is, if I meet someone and have no information but their ph#, what is to stop them from beating me to a bloody pulp or any other bad thing? I would have no way of recourse, and they have nothing to lose. At least I feel comfortable in knowing if someone has given me their information, they wouldn't want to fuck up their own life by fucking mine up.

In fact, I was joking with a hobbyist I had just met the other day about this. He said I might know the most about him over any provider, to which I said I had already forgotten most of the details anyway, it is just something I need to see once. Unfortunately this is not the case with all providers!

And as far as provider references.. Yes I have dealt with a lot of craziness. There are girls who don't answer, or literally have told me he isn't cool, then tried to see the client themselves. One time a girl asked specifically what my handle was here to look at my pics/ad I guess. I love to give references and even feel bad when I take a long time to get to my phone, because I know that sense of relief myself when someone texts me back "yeah he is cool".

you have come across on these boards as sensible and grounded and focuses, and i am not at all surprised that you have no problem with sharing references and providing quick responses to same.

would that all young ladies were as mature as you!

In all honesty, I am always puzzled when I receive an inquiry that says, "I'd love to meet you but I prefer not to give you my name, phone number, any of my real life information, so let's stick to my hobby name Big Don Johnson, my throwaway phone, and as far as screening and physical description goes, I'm a 6'5", 235lb hobbyist with 2 whitelists on TER." Let me see... Do I want to be in a room with an annonymous 6'5", 235 lb man who could do literally anything to me against my will, and should the need arise to turn to the authorities, do I want to have no way to identify him? I think not! I will always pass on "Don".

I'm not sure what some are thinking when they send out those inquiries, but the last time I checked our life depended on our screening, and frankly any kind of "okay" that doesn't have any of their info attached to it is useless. It could be a shared account, it could be LE, it could be someone who forced or blackmailed the girls into vouching for him... The horrendous possibilities are endless. Some girls will take a chance and some won't, depending on their level of adventurousness, need for money, self-defense training and the like. I personally don't gamble with my life, safety and freedom, so I screen everyone with real life information, employment screening, P411 or Date-Check, or RS2K + 2 references, until I'm satisfied that I know exactly who I'm meeting. I have made an exception a few times when someone came very highly recommended by women whose opinion I truly trust, but that's pretty rare, as I found that men who are so evasive about their information tend to have references from women who don't screen in any way and whose opinion I would not trust.

When it comes to references, I've only encountered 3 Los Angeles women who refused to give them, one of them was pretty nasty about it and actually contacted the gentleman to beg him for an appointment, but overall most LA ladies have a very good head on their shoulders and they understand that unless they are in an exclusive arrangement with someone, they cannot monopolize his time and his business.

-- Modified on 12/17/2012 9:02:02 PM

I wish that I would have asked my many dates when I was addicted to this hobby for a whitelisting, but I did not.  Missed opportunity. And unfortunately all of my dates have since moved on to other adventures and no way of contacting them.  
P411 well I would rather spend the money on a date. Datechecker to invasive and I was a victim of ID theft so no.
So don't know.   Before the screening I would just tell them a bit about myself. I would start that I get a std check up every 3 months (still clean), Single, pacifist, and my field of work.
I only had one accident with a date in which she was going to kiss me and I was going to kiss her chest and she gave me a small gash on my forehead and I busted her lip.  She admitted it was accident and we both apologize and she wanted to go on, but I ended the date even though it was only 30 minutes into our 1 hour date. No I did not stiff her, but I did give her a tip and apologized to her again.  I couple of weeks later I saw her again and we had a great time.

I wish this hobby would be legalize that way all the bad people on both sides can be weeded out and we can have many more pleasurable experiences.
That way you will have the following for both:
STD
Criminal
and secured payment.
And since this is considered medical beneficial to your well bieng you would also get privacy.

Honestly if it was not for this hobby I might have committed suicide in my late 20's because I could not take the loneliness anymore, but here I am 12 years later enjoying life.