Here is a situation I ran into and I feel a bit conflicted on what to do.  Saw a provider awhile back and entered a review on TER and another site.  I have entered many reviews plus have lots of white list references.  I think my reviews are very fair and if anything I always try to give the benefit of the doubt.  

With this lady her ad stated lots of things she likes to do, BBBJ, BBBJCIM, DATY, 69, etc, etc.  During our meeting the BBBJ was substandard and no CIM.  When I suggested some action involving DATY her response was that she did not like to do that unless she knew the guy really well.  As for personality, I liked her okay and she seemed nice.  In my reviews I rated her looks as being Nice and performance as being Nice to Average.  I felt I could have been less kind.  I said nothing about her saying she offered certain services that she really didn't or anything and she is either a nice to attractive in the looks department

As it turned out, she was relying on some better reviews and ads on another site that recently became "no longer available".  Once this happened she was stuck with my review on TER and another site.  I guess this is when the situation really hit her.  I recently learned that she was rather upset about my review on here and the other site.  Yet I feel they were a very accurate description of the visit.  I do take these seriously because I realize I could negatively effect some lady's life.  I wanted to talk to her about it, see why she was upset, and if there was something I did wrong.  

Upon contacting her, she said she had always been told that her BBBJs where the best ever and that the only reason she did not offer DATY activities was because she was PMSing and her monthly visitor was about to visit.  My reaction to that was, well you act like guys don't know women, or at women not on Depo Provera,have periods.  That would have been a valid reason a guy could understand.  What she told me basically said she lied in her ad.  

The other reason I contacted her was to get a feel for if I might have been unfair and she was just having an off day.  I'm sure PMS can cause an off day.  I was even thinking that if she sounded sincere and admitted that she had an off day, I might book another meeting and then rewrite the review with a much better one.  Instead she was very defensive and angry.  She just wanted me to have my reviews removed.  But the reviews are a very accurate description of the meeting so I'm not very inclined to have them removed.  I feel she should take this as a learning experience and move forward.  But on the other hand, I feel kind of bad for her and am wondering if I am not being fair enough.  I am very conflicted on this!

Oh I should also mention that during my meeting with her she indicated she had some regulars.  But if she does have some regulars, why doesn't she ask them to write a review on her?  

-- Modified on 8/3/2014 8:59:28 PM

that she balked at. Props to you for being genuinely concerned for her reputation and for you wanting to do the right thing - whatever it is. You sound like you have a real heart. She, however, is doing everything possible to shoot herself in the foot. Rarely does someone get a second chance to make a first impression, and she's turning that opportunity down. It's her choice. I personally would leave what I wrote along, knowing that it was fair and accurate. Maybe in time she will cool off and come around to booking with you again, and hopefully she will bring her "A" game and then you can re-write that review.

Thanks.  I should probably also point out that I never felt I got the chance to suggest a redo.  So it was not so much that she turned down the opportunity.  On the other hand, I think she should have realized that if I was taking the time to try and talk to her about it that might have been something I was considering.  Once I realized how defensive and angry she seemed to be about it, I decided not to even suggest another try when she was having a better day

As to how you learned she was upset with your reviews and how you came to hear that she was relying on some better reviews on another site that recently became 'no longer available'.

Curious nose but nimble fingers

-- Modified on 8/4/2014 7:04:16 AM

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It's just as simple as you reading a job performance report that says you weren't as good as you expected.

In this case, it affects her business.  You would think that she would be concerned with how she conducts herself because reviews on TER are essentially a sort of "credit check" that we can perform on whether she is as good as she says she is.

You seemed to have done your part, so if she's still upset...well, I'm not sure what else you can do.  You already offered her the "re-do" and I think that's as fair as you can be.  Certainly you can't doctor the review.

On a somewhat related note, I don't believe clients are obligated to review providers or cite bad experiences.  I've read some garbage from other clients about "looking out for your bros," but last time I checked, the bros didn't pay for my session, so I'm not really sure why I am obligated to tell them about the details of any session, much less the ones where I may not have connected with the provider.

Reviews are a fine line.  They can be used to motivate or incentivize, or they can be abused and held over others in a way that is damaging or coercive.  I don't feel you did anything bad here.

Too bad she doesn't realize that actions have consequences.  Not everyone is gonna put up with substandard service.

Sounds to me like you were more than fair. Some people are not at all. You tried to give her a second chance, thats all you can do sweetie. Just let it go. Wish there was more gents like you!