I have been doing this hobby for quite a few years.  I was with a very nice provider about three weeks ago, and everything went well.  Near the end of the sessions, I had a strong feeling that I should stop indulging in this hobby.  I am not sure why.  I swore I would never look at the escort sites or visit TER again.  Well I am back visiting TER.  I have not made plans to visit a provider - yet, and I am not sure I will.  Yes, I am married, and, no, I have never had any problems with LE or providers.  

I was wondering if many of my brothers on TERs have ever had the very sudden rush of guilt, concern, or whatever it was that came over me?  Has any provider seen this before?  Is there a cure (LOL)?

Thanks

hate to see you go.  you went above and beyond for me.

Cure for not wanting to hobby would be waiting until you got horny enough.

Cure for wanting to hobby, simple.....(see below

I don't have feelings of guilt or concern but like any indulgence sometimes you need to take a step back and assess if the experience still provides you the physical and emotional thrill that brought you to the hobby. Usually after a few weeks I gain perspective. So far continuing this delightful indulgence has won out, in future who knows . . .

I think some guys get a feeling of guilt when they meet a provider who doesn't have her shit together... Like the girl is so strung out on drugs, or is homeless, or can never seem to get enough to get her own car, etc... I have been told by one guy he had to stop seeing one girl because he felt somehow he was contributing to this cycle and that the girl didn't actually enjoy what she was doing but was stuck in that life....  

Not sure if this may have brought on your guilt... but I know for some guys, they prefer to see the type of woman who has a good head on her shoulders, class, in this business because she has fun it it, enjoys meeting gentlemen and uses the money for good things her life life school, starting a business, saving for a house, etc

END OF MESSAGE

Have had the same feeling,usually the day after. One my ATF`s has just returned to LA, so I`ve put negative thoughts away for a while. On the opposite side,a bad or below average experience with a provider can really turn me off for a while.

Been there done that but the call of the wild is strong.  For me my sex drive, even at 47,  is extremely high.  I've only dated one woman who could handle it and had me into her so much that I literally could not think of any other women.  Sadly, we parted ways.  It almost destroyed me.  

The hobby for me now is an outlet to satisfy my needs without risking heartbreak again.

Best of luck to you

There is one cure once you get hooked onto this.  

Sure, some of the day to day drama and frustrations you experience makes you want to throw in the towel and never look back at this place.  But the strong sexual urges your body sends out usually draws you right back in.  
I swore many times I was leaving this place, even took long hiatuses, but I am still here and in search of a new regular to satisfy my urges.  

Play on your own terms and don't over think anything.  get laid more often

IMHO, it usually helps to figure out where those feelings are coming from:

1.  Is it because you are being intimate with someone besides your partner?  Sometimes I feel that way when things have been going really well at home...then I come back when I just need a break from the day to day.

2.  Is it because money is tight and could be better used elsewhere?  Luckily, I haven't had this problem but I can see where it adds stress if the habit is out of control.

3.  Is it because you are spending too much time away from family, friends, etc?  If the providers know more about your life or see you more often than your friends then a break may be a good idea...  

Sometimes I'm in the same boat, just in a different ocean.    

Wishing you balance and peace in all things.  Cheers.

I've had these same thoughts for the past year, for me it started when I met a provider who was having personal issues and the "session" turned into a therapy session.  (As an aside nothing happened that evening and we are still friends, thankfully this young lady is doing much better today.) This seemed to be a wake up call for me but after deleting my accounts and bookmarks I found myself craving the hobby after only six weeks.  I know from personal experience people can become addicted/obsessed to this hobby just like alcohol and drugs.  (Statistics state 5% -7% of the population will become addicted.)  Is there a "cure" for those addictions maybe or maybe not but being mindful of one's actions and to maintain a strong balance in life along with identifying the true reason why we are doing this all have helped me.  When the hobby interferes with my life priorities and is no longer fun I will move on.

My first time with a provider was 2005. Between then and 3 years ago had 40 dates. Only reviewed one, Aeryn Moore. Many other repeats with beautiful, amazing women all of which came from TER. Then, I got found out and the world came crashing down. Got a bit sloppy with the secret email site, she pried into (that damn iCloud) the computer, and that was it. The final few years the feeling of guilt started the moment I walked out of the session. I should've listened to the voice in my head "enough is enough and know when to stop". Single now and only recently lurking around the perimeter of TER again. Time will tell

I hear this OFTEN from my clients.  

You aren't alone.  

What happens to these guys who struggle with feelings of guilt, for whatever reason (let's face it, our society frowns on adult entertainment, and who doesn't feel a little guilt when we spontaneously spend several hundred dollars and have little to show for it) they decide they feel guilty so they have to QUIT FOREVER to fix it.

I tell my clients that this is not practical.  When you decide to quit something like the hobby forever, you are setting yourself up for failure.  And I say this because pretty much 100% of the guys who say this to me return to me.

This is what I suggest instead.  Decide how often you want to hobby.  Once a month, 4 times a year, whatever you think works for you, and try to stick with that.

And most importantly of all, do NOT let yourself feel guilty for failing to meet the promises you make to yourself.  Be willing to forgive yourself.  Guilt serves no purpose.  Don't waste your precious time on it.  If you fall short of the expectations you have for yourself, and you find yourself feeling guilty, tell yourself to knock it off.  We all fall short.  Do better next time.  It really is that simple.  What else can you do, anyways?

I wasn't going to go here, but, oh well, here I go:  Personally, I don't believe people were meant to be monogamous. If you think about what the human race was doing from 5,000-1,000,000 years ago (even recently), the men were fighting wars and protecting the women and children against saber tooth tigers and such.  There was probably always a shortage of men.  I suspect that in order to provide protection and for the practical reason of increasing the population (not to mention that the men just wanted to), the men took on multiple wives.

Even if you just consider how strong and irresistible an attraction can be between two people, life is too short to pass up an opportunity for true passion when it arises.  

There are other species that mate for life.  

 I was a hospice nurse for 6 years and I saw many couples at the end of one of their lives.  About 10% hated each other.  80% liked, but didn't really love each other, and 10% were just as in love with each other as the day they first fell in love.  

So, I'm sure there are arguments for both sides.  

It's worth considering that you are fighting against your basic nature, that you are trying to force yourself to be something you were never intended to be.  Everyone knows what a strong force a males sexuality is.

Thank you Freya. That's very sage advice. Can't speak for anyone else on this thread but it's been close to 2-1/2 years of non-hobby for me.

GO get some traveII on poor countries  
Start doing some charity work
Help someone who needs..
YOu guilty go way  
THERE is so many important  things  That  
you can  feel guilty about ..
YOu leave the hobby  and then your mind  find other things to be guilty  
that how human being are...