I'm trying to make some decisions and I'm hoping that others are willing to share their experiences in this area.

To set the stage:

I am a relatively young white guy, and have been seeing incall providers for a couple of years now. I mainly stick to k-girls because it fits my needs best (proximity, price point, reliability of service).  My M.O. so far has been that, once I find a provider who I click with, I stick with her and don't switch until she's not working anymore.

At least with my last three steady k-girl providers, they got comfortable with me and, even though I didn't ask for the info, they eventually told me what seems to check out as their real name, and they had no issue with providing some other personal info like their personal cell #, email address, the apartment building where they really live, which other k-girls they are friends with, etc. They also have initiated a few phone calls and/or text messages on their own out of the blue, which isn't a problem for me because I'm totally single and have no wife or girlfriend I'm stepping out on I can get caught by.

Maybe because I haven't so far tried to initiate anything further, this is as far at it has gone. No dinner dates, no meetings outside of their trick pad, no freebie/discounted sessions.

I've always been down to take advantage of such opportunities if they were offered to me without me asking, but I haven't asked for them because I'm reluctant to screw up what I have as an (apparently favorite) regular with these providers. I'm also reluctant to get enmeshed in the downside of an off-the-clock relationship with a provider who probably makes (and is used to spending) more money than I make and spend, not to mention the other obvious complications.

But now I have a bit of a conundrum.  Things have come to a head in the past couple of weeks because all three of these providers are now back working simultaneously, two after extended time off. I'd love to be able to, but I cant afford to see all three with any frequency, so I am going to have to figure something out.

I'm not asking for advice on what to do or who to choose.

But it would help me (and maybe others who read this board, now and in the future) to get responses to this question from other k-girl aficionados:

How common is it in your experience for an L.A. k-girl to give out her digits, or her real name, or other personal info to a (non-Korean-speaking) regular?

If it's just a standard benefit of being a regular, then I'll learn that I'm not as special to these particular girls as I've led myself to believe, and I therefore won't have to be so concerned about causing hurt feelings or closing the door to getting back together with them later. If it's not common and a boundary has been crossed that I should try and respect, then I'll have to think a bit harder about things.

Anyone willing to chime in?

You have lots to learn yet.  First of all, you don't find it odd that all three of them find you very special, so special that they all give you their "personal" cell, email, et cetera?  If you've got that much game, there would be a conga line of pussy waiting at your front door and you wouldn't be calling for appointment.
It's just a business practice, that is all.  Just as you would any other business.  Look what it's already done to you; you are worrying about how to see all three of them on a regular frequency.
Don't believe me?  Stop or cut down the frequency of appointment with one of the girls, but keep the phone call going and see how long before she stops calling.
Lastly, I know this is hard to fathom, but providers have their own bat phone, just like us hobbyists.  So, a bit of a breaking news for you.

I'm not new to hobbying, just to incall providers and L.A. k-girls.  Not really. Only three out of the dozens I've booked over the past three+ years represents a relatively small percentage, and a guy doesn't have to be g-d's gift to women to become at least temporarily "special" to one woman (or two or three over that span of time) either.

"Personal" cell phone & email, I totally admit that's no big deal.

Verifiable real name and real home address - I would tend to think for reasons of personal safety that those probably aren't given out like Halloween candy, especially without being asked for them, and require at least a minimum level of trust and comfort.  The question is how much.

Unsolicited offers,(whether you believe it or not, and that I haven't accepted, whether you believe it or not) during ordinary two-call, paid appointments to enjoy bbfs, no extra donation, when they know I'll be knocking on the trick pad door in two or three weeks regardless? Is that par for the course when you're a regular?I don't claim to have any "game" at all, in fact I know I don't. But a woman can feel a personal connection and be comfortable with a guy once she's gotten to know him whether or not he's "got that much game", or whether he is any good in bed at all for that matter.

Furthermore, being good at picking up chicks and knowing how to make them come really hard once their clothes come off are separate skill sets, and being good at one doesn't necessarily mean being good at the other.No, I am trying to decide the best way to handle dropping back down to at most one paid companion to fit within my budget without screwing things up with the other two, which presumes that there's something to screw up in the first place, which there may not be.I'm very open to believing you, which is why I asked my question in the first place. But I asked for info regarding other hobbyists' personal experience, not a critique of mine.

So, how big is your k-girl Rolodex?

Kendoka47 is giving sound advice.  I am not white, but these girls do give out their info if they feel comfortable with you.  I have never asked for their info, but they tend to give it to me.  In my case, it has never been to "keep me on the hook," but more to just get to know them or show them around (if they are just visiting).  Once you get to know them, getting freebies isn't out of the question.  Obviously, it helps that I speak the language, that I am in their age range, and that I am not hideously deformed.

Actually becoming more than just friends with these girls poses a whole bunch of issues that are too endless to even name.  Girls, in general, usually come with some drama and baggage.  With these pro K-girls, you can go ahead and multiply that by 10x.  You might even end up like that dancebbq09 guy and start crying on the TER boards every time your whore GF breaks up with you.  Don't be that guy.  There are plenty of beautiful K-girls that don't have sex with other guys as part of their job description.  Actually, it is the only thing in their job description.

Anyway, you can take it as a semi-ego boost that those girls gave you their digits, but don't go overboard.  Use it as a springboard to bag better girls in the real world.  Good luck.

As far as being on TER, I've been here since 01/02 under previous incarnation.  As for hobbying goes, I've been doing it since '96.  And yes, I do see korean girls 99.9% of the time.  I've seen just one non-asian in my entire hobbying career, a Russian/Eastern Euro outfit in Hollywood back in the late 90s.  Does my resume pass your smell test?
As far as seeing them off the clock, been there, done that.  Visited their places, met their sisters.  Even gone on two vacations (nothing extravagant, just trip up north to see the bridge).  Now I just prefer my "personal connection" with them one hour at a time.  Oh, in case you do wonder, yeah, I do make them come hard multiple times, just like many of the reviewers do here.

when i am or was with my provider girlfriends they got calls from their regulars all the time.   she had to answer.   she needs to earn money so have to make the client believe shes into them to keep them coming back.

i ask them sometimes about how they feel about their regulars and they say nothing.  just think of them as nice guys and thats it.   i will never understand how these girls are able to separate their personal feelings and their work. it just amazes me.

but whether your that "special" person well thats the tough part.   i gave up asking them if i am really the one.  now i just judge them by their actions..ie...i get freebies, she sleeps over at my place on her days off, we go to the movies, go grocery shopping, cook dinner at home, and she buys me things.   so i guess my question to you is do any of them do these things?  if one of them does then i think its a safe bet she really cares for you.  and the ones who dont do this well then theres your answer of how they feel about you.

good luck



-- Modified on 10/22/2010 12:15:02 AM

Hmmm, BBFS if they are still working incall  is a dangerous game. No matter how close you are to them. Though accidents do happen. Ahem.

I've received personal info from a number of girls, even a phone number in Korea. Visited their private homes gone to dinner, taken out for birthdays, etc, etc.. blah blah blah, I suspect this is fairly common and some girls have a group of regular guys that they like more then others.

Since I'm married, J-girl, I never let things get too far and am upfront about being good friends and nothing more. "More" has come up on more then one occasion and broken hearts are common.

For good or bad I found that I tend to be the kind of guy, that many girls open up to. I speak pretty good Japanese and many providers, many who will never advertise the fact, speak Japanese too. I've even found that girls who have reviews where they say, they don't speak English or very poor English skills in fact speak English quite well. This sucks sometimes, when you're looking for seconds and you get some girl who wants to yack.

It's all a matter of how comfortable the girl is with you. If you are planning on getting serious with one. Pick one to be serious with and before getting too far wait until she 'quits' the biz . But as someone has said many of these girls have deep seated issues and you need to be prepared emotionally and mentally to deal with them. Many girls come from seriously fucked up family situations.  I can't tell you how many times I've had some girl pour her heart out.

Good Luck you'll need it.

The BEST indicator you have a girl who likes you. During you're visit she will complain you're too fat, skinny, need a haircut, I don't like this or that about you. If she complains about some aspect of you, you have a keeper!

END OF MESSAGE

I appreciate the responses, and I would like to apologize to kendoka47 for my rude reply. I knew when I posted that someone was going to call me clueless, and the Padawan thing put me on edge.

Re the bbfs offer, it is true, but it was because she wanted to tease me and I could tell she wasn't serious.

I'm glad you all get them off, because I seldom do.  I think they take a liking to me because I'm not demanding and don't cause a lot of wear and tear.

I have been down this road several times.   Each time I kept telling myself that this one was going to be different.  Each time it ends up that you will have a broken heart. It is the nature of this "provider business".  Not only is it obviously not conducive for a relationship, but it seeks to destroy any chance at relationships.   The reasons are too many to name, but you can figure out the main ones.  Girls might leave the business for a while, but get drawn back in.  Or they want to quit, but can't for whatever reason.   Or they miss the insane piles of money they were used to getting while working.  Or the bad memories of working will haunt them.  Many other reasons.  

Each time I thought that I had learned enough from the past relationship to make this one work, but something else creeps in to cause ruin.   This topic has come up many times over the years, and always it's the same, you will end up crushed and broken hearted guaranteed.  I know, there is that lure of thinking, " yeah, but I'm different, I can make it work" or "I know this girl is really special, she's not like the other girls".  Believe me, Ive said those same things too many times, and each time I believed it.  And each time the pain and heartache was worse than the last.  I started to wonder if the girls sit around and talk about surefire ways to break guys hearts.   The classic one is to win your heart, make plans for the future, have you head over heels for them, and then they simply disappear.  Move to "work" in another city, or move back to Korea.  But you are left like a basket case, because you don't know what the hell happened to them.  Are they ok? Are they hurt?  In trouble?  Arrested? What?  It's one of the most horrible feelings.  You fell in love with someone in a dangerous job, and they disappeared from you instantly, and you have no way to know what happened.  

Many guys have said it before, but " dont do it!". Just enjoy your 1 hour, and move on.  Don't get attached.  I hope at least 1 guy will heed this warning and be spared from the pain.

just because you got used doesn't mean others will experience the same.

i know retired girls who got married and have kids and live happily with their husbands.  their husbands are former clients or found out later.

and why do you assume the girls all have to work as providers to earn money?  alot of the girls own other non escort businesses or are owners themselves and run other girls.  these girls maybe high school drop outs but they're not stupid.  

yes alot of girls use men.  just like us guys who use them.  so as part of the enjoying this hobby you will meet both the good girls and the manipulative ones.  but thats the same in real life.   some people are shady backstabbers and some are good people.  

and if you got used maybe you asked for it.  i don't know what your age and money situation is.  but if your like 50 and middle class and non korean...aren't you expecting too much of yourself?  why would a girl who is in her 20s or early 30s, who speak only decent english at best, and whos korean with korean friends and family want to be in relationship with you?  how would she explain you to everyone she knows?   so unless you had shit load of money i don't think the girl would bother trying to be with you.  and the fact you gotten dumped tells me your not rich or else those girls would never have dumped you.

so just because you had bad experiences dont generalize and assume everyone else will.

Honestly, I'm not looking to have any of them for a girlfriend or other ltr.  I tried to provide that info in the first post but I guess I kind of loused it up and my irritated reply didn't help matters.  The last thing I need is a girlfriend who's overstayed her visa and has worse tax problems than I do.  I was entertaining maybe a date or two, or trying to be casual friends if possible - if I didn't at least like them, I wouldn't be a regular, after all, but I understand where most of you stand on that question.  Or maybe being able to get some companionship for free rather than at $4+ per minute for the first time in a long while.

Each of the three situations is different - the first definitely crossed obvious boundaries and my expectation is that there will be no more contact with her personally or commercially except maybe for me to call for an appointment and be shot down, making it official that both relationships are over. I already had her disappear on me without notice - it didn't make me a basket case, but I was hurt that she would simply change her phone number on me rather than kick me to the curb in more straightforward fashion.  The second is mostly just a case of trying to decide whether I should do something to say goodbye to her if I decide not to book her any more. There's only one or two things other than the personal info she's given me that make me think we might have a personal relationship at all.  Still, I don't want to hurt her feelings if there are any to hurt, and if I do stop booking her I wouldn't mind hearing from her how she's doing now and then.  The third is only within the last two months or so and so I don't want to say more than that she did ask me out once I told her I was unattached.

I learned what I needed to from my request, that all I can take knowing a providers' personal details to mean is that they are comfortable enough with me that they don't think I'll go monster on them if I know certain personal details, and that's what I was trying to get out of my first post.

One more detail that I'd like to emphasize before ending my participation in this thread - These ARE all k-girls I was asking about, and they are plenty attractive, as are many korean and koream women - But I don't (yet, anyway) have a "thing", fetish, whatever you want to call it for them on the basis of their nationality.  To each his own, and I don't want to belittle anyone who has a strong preference like that - but I can still find women from other parts of the world equally attractive, if they are equally attractive.  I stick to incall k-girls when hobbying because its $250 an hour and not twice or three times that, I know that I'm pre-cleared in most cases and don't have to do much more than make a call to set up a time, and the most likely downside (other than getting caught by LE) is that the girl and I aren't very compatible and not that I'll get ripped off, or assaulted, or both.  If those features were as readily available from non-korean providers of the same calibre, I wouldn't necessarily be exclusively booking the korean ones.

What's with the alias this time?  You really think that people wouldn't be able to tell that it's you?

Don't listen to MisoRamenwithEgg/dancebbq09's advice or you'll end up exactly like him.  You'll get dumped multiple times by your whore GFs and yet still continue to pointlessly pursue these pro K-girls.  Then you might even go and post your rants on the TER boards.  You'll be given sound advice or flamed by other guys and yet still continue to pointlessly pursue these pro K-girls.  On top of that, you might even start giving advice to other guys on how to judge whether you should get into a relationship with these pros, while still pointlessly pursuing them.  Do you get my point?

Just don't do it.  Seriously, I just can't believe that dancebbq09 still hasn't learned anything.  And now he's giving out advice so other people end up just like him?  LOL.  Become friendly, get freebies, but don't go any further than that.  Use it as motivation to get better girls in real life.