There comes a time in most provider's career where they feel its the time to leave. I dont mean because they have been hassled or had bad clients or bad times, but its just time to move on to another phase in their life, or job career maybe. I guess I have a few questions about this. When they want out, do you let them get out? If they have shown their faces and have become pretty well known and then just decide to change their lives, do you let them? Reason I am asking is because some providers go on to take public jobs after this, maybe a news broadcaster, famous movie star, god maybe even a political career. Do you let them? There are so many hobbyists who are so resentful to providers and you can see it by the alias attacks or non alias negative attitudes. But do these people keep it limited to TER? Or do they take it off the field then also? Doesnt every women deserve to leave when she wants to? Without having fear that she will get her former life called out on her? Is it the worst mistake ever for a women to be a provider. I wonder to myself. Does this one phase in her life, ruin any chance for a better future? I would like to think that when she leaves this job and goes to her next career, that even the haters here on TER would leave her alone. What do you think? All opinions welcome even the women haters opinions. Id like to know what they plan to do also when a women retires. Will they leave her alone or never let her live away from the memory of doing this?

my own experience, but I know one provider who was popular about a year ago, then went UTR, then decided to leave the game altogether. We remain friends and she is doing great now in a corporate job. She's a real sweetheart and I can't imagine anyone would ever try to hurt her. I think everyone understands, you deserve a chance to leave this world behind. If that is your choice, people should respect it.

You know this is a very good topic. Myself at this time in my life I don't care what people think of me and if there are haters out there that want to try to cause me problems, all I can say is at least they aren't bothering someone else. My daughter is grown, other family members know what I do, whether they like it or not, keep their opinions to their selves.  What other job I choose to do after this will not affect me at all. I can say I'm far from retiring. I enjoy this life style and if someone doesn't like it all I can say is, don't let the door hit him or her in his or her ass. I'm a good person and have an intelligent head on my shoulders. I have been close to deaths door a couple years ago and heaven isn't ready for me yet. So come and join me in my happy life because I will not let those haters destroy me. Like water running off a penguins back.  Go pick on someone else because you not going to rattle me. I enjoy life too much to let them get to me.

Happy New Years Eve

CLSexxyRed

I think that you have two distinct issues here. First of all, if you have posted pictures of your face or some other distinctive features (such as a unique tattoo) on your website or have used your real name, then yes, you run the risk of having your past come back to haunt you down the line. Secondly, however, if you have taken precautions to maintain some degree of privacy, then you probably should be insulated from the rants of a disaffected client. After all, if he doesn't have a photo of your face, your private phone number, or any real way to identify you other than remembering how you look, his options are limited. But in the overall picture of things I think that for the most part clients that have had good relationships with the ladies they have visited will respect the wishes of those ladies when they wish to leave the profession. Take care and best wishes to you.

There's no way of ever knowing, but a lot of ladies have retired in the 11 years I've been on TER.  In a city like LA, it's pretty easy to do whatever you want in the future without too much problem.  I don't think the same would be true of a small town.

Most of us wouldn't even recognize  a lady if we saw her in a different context- street clothes, different hair style etc.  I once ran into a provider I was currently seeing, while shopping at South Coast Plaza.  I was 4 feet away from her and didn't even recognize her until she looked at me and said hi.  

I know a woman that has worked as a provider for about 10 years, but recently started working as a spokesmodel as well as photography model.  Even though she's been on some magazine covers, she's still advertising her escort services concurrent with modeling, and seems to be doing OK.

The reality is, there's no way of ever knowing for sure and you can always run into someone, no matter where you move to.  For example, I once ran into my old boss (whom I despised) at a sporting event half way around the world!  So if it were me, I'd just continue to live the life I wanted, where I wanted, and not worry about all the "what ifs."

I think the "haters" you refer to are a small, but very vocal, group of mostly losers and immature guys that primarily live on the boards.  I doubt any have ever seen you as a client and probably never will.  I'd also bet that most of their activity consists of harassing ladies from behind an alias.   It's just my opinion, but I wouldn't worry about them, especially since most of them are probably such losers they wouldn't even be able to talk to a pretty woman in real life.  The internet empowers guys like that, but take it away and they go back to being the losers they were before.

We should respect the person's privacy. I met someone who decided
to no longer be in the business, it seemed to work out for her.

People should have the right to leave

We may have our share of mal-adjusted, passive-aggressive misogynists; but there is even more outside our bubble along with Feminists, Bible thumpers, investigative reporters, job competitors, and haters of all sorts.  

  I can't wait for the day an investigative reporter digs up an "Escorting history" on a female candidate leading in the GOP or Democrat Presidential primaries.  We gonna' hear the words WHORE, SALVATION, REDEMPTION, and "Is it FAIR?" an awful lot from the talking heads.

First, good for you!

Second, I don't have much to add to G2's eloquent response but will give it a shot. Wholeheartedly agree with him and hope that you embrace the next phase of your life without looking back. I personally know a few women in entertainment (models, actresses, etc) and other positions where they are occasionally in the media (entrepreneurs who get interviewed in their field of expertise) that were providers.

I suspect they have probably had a random "does that guy know me" moment or two. That said, letting the fear of a former client recognizing you in another context and then outing you is a surefire way to "ruin any chance for a better future." For most clients, there would be consequences on their end if they were to out you..."Really? She is? How do you know that?". Not sure how many guys have a credible answer to that one.  

My perspective on the "what do you plan to do when a woman retires" question you pose is that most guys don't do anything other than occasionally wonder what happened to you. As your post sounds like you are simply moving on to other things and not being harassed, bothered, etc I expect that if you delete all your email accounts, ask the mods to delete your profile, remove all ads from the ad sites and politely cut all ties, you will be fine. If you have a chance to tweak your look a bit with a different hairstyle, more / less tanning or any of the other beauty secrets women employ that would likely give you greater piece of mind. The cutting all ties part of it will likely be the hardest, as you may have developed some friendships along the way. If you don't, the reminder of how you made those friendships may be something that causes you undue anxiety, especially since you already have significant concerns.

Unless you have a specific issue with a current client who is already crossing lines, I view the likelihood of someone searching you out and making trouble as extraordinarily low. Good luck to you. Your life is your life. Once you make the decision to change it, do it and don't look back. Best wishes.  

That's my take.

Wish I could pm you to discuss this further, but Im an alias and so are you

Did the ladies you know show their faces in their ads before or were they blurred?

Likewise, sorry to use alias but I am an infrequent poster  The ladies I mentioned had blurred pics.

Offering up information that is none of their business, and could be used against you, makes no sense whatsoever.  Why would you make that the start of every conversation you have in the future regarding you new career?  You'll have a lot of short job interviews if you do.

And your example of what famous people do doesn't apply to you unless you're also rich and famous.  There are two sets of rules in the world.  Rock starts can joke about their drug use and shrug it off, the rest of us get arrested.  Charlie Sheen can proclaim to the world he doesn't even know how many hookers he's slept with, the rest of us get arrested.

It sounds like you've been through a lot and are finally starting to get ahead, don't backslide now by telling the world your most personal business.  If you're worried about your past following you, why would you do something to guarantee that it does exactly that?  It's a very competitive world and you never want to give people ammunition to use against you.

   

-- Modified on 1/2/2012 1:36:26 PM

I was in a 5 year relationship that ended less then 10 years ago. During that relationship I was extremely verbally abused and sometimes it led to him with his hands around my neck. I often hid in closets or wondered the streets at night afraid to return. Eventually he would come looking for me and apologize. I loved him and always hoped he would change. He didnt and I finally had to leave him or I would end up lifeless. Before I met him I was a dancer and did some acting. I was very happy performing but when I fall in love I fall hard. I fell for him and it all went downhill from there. After I left him I was so broken I could not be with men in a relationship. I was damaged and scared. I had lost all confidence. I couldn't even smile or laugh. I was lucky to find this job. It built my self esteem back up, showed me that men can be nice and appreciative of me, raised my preferences on how I want to be treated. It also gave me money to live a comfortable life and have nice things.
Then a remarkable thing happened to me two weeks ago. It made me realize Im healed now and have my confidence back and am ready to get back to my dancing and acting. To not go back to my talents would be a terrible thing. Because I was always a women with good looks, good marketing skills, good people skills, this job did make me somewhat famous. I showed my face also. I dont really fear my clients ever trying to hurt me, but its the lurkers I think I fear most, and the ones who make it their daily hobby to verbally abuse providers on the boards.
What Im considering is to say what Ive done from the start. Some famous people have said their darkest secrets up front and shrugged it off like that was then and this is now. This might be the best approach, so that the haters dont benefit from it at a later time. Politicians deny deny deny however. And their advisers must have told them to deny it.  
Im sure Im not the only women out here who had big aspirations then had to detour off them for one reason or another, and now is thinking to get back on her track.

So sorry for the difficulties you have experienced and happy for you that you are moving to a better place. Agree 100% with G2....why would you seek to revisit your past with every new employment opportunity? Unless you move on to become extremely famous, no one is going to be looking into your background with a fine tooth comb. And if that happens, then you will be part of the "rich and famous" that G2 describes...whose talent, connections, money, etc makes the standards for their behavior very different from the rest of us.

-- Modified on 1/3/2012 8:51:42 AM

I knew a provider that retired.  I happened to know her name and follow her on Facebook every few months.  It pleases me that she seems normal now and has a normal job listed on Facebook.  If she ever turns off her Facebook page, that would be ok with me.