For the past 3 to 5 years my wife has lost her interest on sex and no longer has the need for it. I am in my mid forties and I feel that I am losing  my self-confidence as a lover, as my sex life has diminished with time. I had sporadic lovers, but the emotional commitment required is not what I am seeking at this moment.  I need to recoup that sense of myself and I am looking for a provider that I can see on a regular base (at least once a month) that enjoys what she is doing, has a strong sex drive and knows herself well. While I appreciate a nice body, communication (verbal & physical) is more important. Intelligence, humor and sensitivity is better in my book.  The best lovers I had, were the ones that challenged me and enjoyed themselves, not necessarily the most beautiful ones...

I work / live on the west side, so for practical purposes any leads around these area will be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance and thank you for some of the insightful comments I have read in these forums...

This seems to be an American epidemic. This is a story I hear over and over again. American women seduce till the diamond 'Forever Ring' is snugly on her finger, then there's just the birthday shag once a year after that. However, tho the wife isn't wanting sex, she would go ballistic if her husband got it elsewhere. To me, this is very selfish of a wife. How is that loving someone? To be married is to love unconditionally, and to always want the best for your partner.
One thing to remember is that a man is like a mountain. A mountain is always the same. From birth to death, a man is a consistent mountain, a rock secure and sturdy. Horny from the start to the end. A man's libido is pretty consistent. But women can be described as the weather that whirls around the mountain. Always changing. This is because of hormones. The Hormones in men stay pretty consistent all thru his life. Women's change about every 15 years. The abstinence of sex after marriage could be partly hormonal, partly lack of interest, partly low self esteem as age sets in, or even having all priority on taking care of children. I suppose its hard to feel sexy if you are baby talking all day with kids.
In my opinion, seeing a provider is the healthiest antidote for a sexless marriage. You do not have the same risks as you would in having an affair. Most affairs end badly or break the marriage up. I wouldn't recommend having an affair, unless you are very much ready to end your marriage. If you find that the marriage has evolved into more of a friendship, common interest arrangement, without sex, then seeing a provider is certainly the way to go.
I agree, you may miss some things that were there when there was still the flame of newness in your marriage. That sweetness of asking how is your day, the thrill to see each other come home, affectionate caressing, talking about your goals and dreams, a true desire to sexually please. You will be ok don't worry. There are so many men in this same situation. Which is why I could never feel guilty about what I do. If it was not for kind loving providers, there would be so many unhappy men. Working hard all day, paying family bills, and all the man needs is some sweetness and tender loving care. I/ and we are here to offer that. Some of us are genuine, and some are not. You just have to go with your instinct and feel in your gut who is the one you will connect with.
I'm so glad you shared this. Its been something Ive felt sad about. I wish wives would take better care of their husbands. I know it might cost me my job, if all wives were sexually pleasing their spouse, but I would rather see so many kind wonderful men get the love they deserve. If you can't get it at home, you can get it from me..

-- Modified on 1/20/2013 10:01:43 PM

Cameo.....so smart......so perceptive.  Brilliantly verbalizing the best philosophy and rationale for the 'hobby'.......My life has literally been saved by the loving tenderness and succulent salaciousness of sensitive, sexy providers.  After my wife was felled by dementia several years ago, I was plunging headlong into the abyss of terminal depression.  I had never seen a 'pro' since the obligatory Tijuana trip of my long ago salad days.  Then, a few years ago, lonely and just needing to be touched, I stepped into an AMP a few blocks from my apartment.......and my life changed forever.  I've since met so many beautiful, willing, caring, and professional women who have uplifted my spirits along with my stallion ganglia.  All one has to is sample the LA provider pool until he finds someone to augment and enhance his life.....Thank you again, Cameo, for your perceptive response.

Do a "Search" including "Number of reviews" in your criteria. This should help with the "enjoys what she is doing, has a strong sex drive and knows herself well" prerequisite.

The other tangible and intangibles will further narrow your favorites down to several, or less.
ONE however can prove far too many!

Sounds to me like you could also explore an alternative, such as having a NSA approach with a "civilian". Check out sites like Ashley Madison or POF.

I just sent you a pm.

PM Sent. EOM.

Thank you Cameo, it seems that you are right on target (Not surprised, you are good intelligent writer, just saw your blog)  and I am not alone with these issues. I got some very nice emails from members as well as providers, which shows that as you said, is an American epidemic.

I can't force my spouse wanting too have sex and I won't throw out the window everything else that works well (which is a lot) with us.  While she can be content with a sexless life, I wake up pretty much horny every other day and missing the foreplay, the game and the intensity to be with someone that I can be fragile,  dominant, submissive, playful, tender, etc, etc. Is a part of me I am not willing to give up,  but that seems to be going away if I don't deal with it.

Some people needs the thrill of the unexpected encounter, other people just needs to re-connect with that side of ourselves that gives a lot of meaning to our identity, of who we are, or at least we used to be....

I have tried Ashley Madison and spent a pretty dime their with no success I would have saved the money and spent it on a provider,

Your story is why. Heard it so many times before. It's no wonder marriage rates are rapidly declining.

Thank goodness there will always be alternatives available!

OP has described a situation which unfortunately for one reason or another is not uncommon. For many of us, the hobby world has "provided" the missing piece, the possibility of a rewarding and fulfilling sex life while maintaining an otherwise good and beautiful marriage at home. It's not a paradox at all  for some of us to have a way to fill one desperately  missing need without sacrificing the other. Thank you Cameo for your insightful and supportive post.

imho, word-of-mouth is your best option on this one.  contrary to some advice, a lady that has a large number of reviews is more likely NOT to be what he is looking for.  lots of reviews = lots of clients and i believe this is not what he said he was looking to find.

if i may suggest...make a list of the attributes that you find appealing whether it be physical or not, just give yourself an idea of what you are looking for overall.  then a search will help narrow it down.  in your case, a more mature provider will most likely give you the connection that you are seeking.  once you find a few ladies that you feel could be a match for you, do some homework on each lady.  contact gentlemen whom have seen her before.  google her name, etc...

i think you will find that it isnt always finding the perfect provider, because there just isnt going to be a perfect one for everyone, but in doing research on a lady, you can get a feel of who she is in a more personal way.  once you find a few, then write to her.  i would send each one a few emails before contacting them for a date.  i think if you put a little time and effort into your search, you will find a lady here that will be good for you.