I met a female (will not call her a lady, you will know why in a minute) about a month ago on an online dating site (WYP). We went on one date then she decided to part ways. Last week she reached out and I made the mistake of showing interest. We exchanged a few texts to set up a second date. Now she is barraging me with text messages (at least 5 per day), has asked for $800 for her time (she says I wasted her time with my insincere interest to date her), and she now also threatens to inform my wife of our one date (nothing occurred but dinner and drinks).  
 
I have remained silent thus far to this barrage of texts. It is getting annoying fast and I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

I plan to block my telephone number, and my wife's telephone number, so that this crazy lady will not be able to call or text from her cell phone, but that does not prevent her from calling from another cell phone or telephone. I do not want to change our cell numbers because that would be suspicious to my wife, and we have too many family and friends who may call us who will not know our new numbers.
 
Do I respond to her barrage of texts, and if so, what should be my message? Does anyone have any ideas how to stop this stalker, what is the surefire cure for a stalker?

...mall and she's a provider.   I guess you found out what your price for stupidity is.

Why on earth does she have your real cell & your wife's cell?  This is what hobby phones are for!  

First off, save any messages you get.  You can not establish blackmail / extortion without evidence.  In general replying is not going to buy you anything.  And if you pay, there's no guarantee it will stop.  It would not be advisable to go to the Police without an attorney...  LE may be inclined to go on a fishing expedition...  having legal representation helps keep them focused (if LE involvement is necessary.)  Sometimes attorney (possibly with a PI) will trace her real name down & serve her with a legal cease & desist order.  Sometimes they back off when their REAL identity is known.  

There is no "surefire" fix except to call their bluff.  

-- Modified on 5/2/2014 9:11:21 PM

Sorry

Firstly, how the fuck does she even have your wife's cell phone number?

Secondly, yes, definitely block her number, and more to the point, if the harassment doesn't stop, yes you may need to change your cell phone number.  You may need to change your wife's cell phone number too.  Send an email out to your friends and family that you switched phone numbers.  Problem solved.  

Thirdly, ignore the stalker, don't ever respond to her, no matter what.  If you never provide her with feedback, she will eventually lose interest and then leave you alone.  Besides, what is there that you could possibly say that would make any difference?  You can't reason with a mentally unhinged person anyway.  

Fourthly, implement these things in the future so that this never happens again:  burner phone, hobby email address, and hobby nickname.  

Lastly, stop using dating sites, they are full of scams and cons as far as I am concerned.  I suggest you just stick with professional escorts from now on if you need to engage in extracurricular activities.  

I know what you are going through must be very annoying, hopefully some of this advice will be useful to you.  Best of luck, my friend.  

First, thanks for the advice. In most cases, I already knew the ways to protect myself and remain anonymous, I got stupid and ignored the best practices. Lessons learned/reinforced.

Second, more info and progress report. I did not provide the crazy lady my real name or wife's cell phone number. I did provide her my personal cell phone number when we exchanged text messages to set up a date. Big mistake, I know. I'm going to Best Buy this week to get a burner phone. The crazy lady informed me she had used my personal cell phone number to locate my personal information and my wife's cell phone number. I don't know if that is true or not, I only know all too often where there is a will there is a way. I blocked my wife's cell phone number as a precautionary measure. I did not yet block my cell phone number because I want to continue to collect any threatening messages she sends (cannot do that after I block my cell phone number).

I met 24 women on the dating site (actual dates in public places). I do not believe every woman on the dating site is an escort. In my experience, the number of confirmed escorts was 1 in 4 women (they actually propositioned me during the first and only date, I never accepted any of those offers, none were my type after all and they did not compere well to actual escorts). I also went on dates with several very nice women (8-12) who I believe are not escorts, merely women looking to make a little extra money and perhaps enjoy some type relationship or arrangement. I still meet with 4 women I am 100% certain are not escorts (I now regularly play golf with 1 woman I met on the dating site). Only 1 of the 24 women I met said or did anything crazy.

Despite the crazy woman giving a Saturday noon ultimatum to pay or be exposed, it has been quiet at home this weekend. Let's hope for continued silence and an end to her nonsense and threats.

Again, thanks for everyone's advice.

Any update?  Did everything work out ok?

I'm sorry that happened to you! Yes HOBBY phone and hobby email (even name ) are VERY VERY important. how did you solve this?

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