I have been blackmailed for over 2 years by my ex-husband.  

We have been divorced for 17 years and it was a very ugly divorce with custody hearings, contempt, and years of fighting back and forth with each other.  It cost me and my family about 50k fighting with him.  My father died from a stroke brought on by high blood pressure/stress during my last battle in court with my ex.  So I gave up fighting with him because I just could not mentally do it anymore after my father died at only 51 years old.  

My ex had custody of my daughter and I was ordered to pay him child support.  His parents raised my child and she never lived with him once.  She is 19 years old now, and she was 4 when she was tragically taken from me.   I paid my ex child support for over 14 years until I lost my job and could not pay him.  Which I then started this business.

He found out what I was doing a few years ago and he has been blackmailing me since for free sex, at least a few times a month.  He calls me constantly, using my daughter as an excuse.  Sometimes he will call my home and cell up to 20x when I am avoiding his calls.  He leaves intimidating messages that I can read between the lines.  He threatens to tell my daughter, mom, police, IRS, etc.  If I don't come by and see him.  I have complied with him up until about a month or so ago.  And he is getting really angry with me now.

His message today was that this would not be as good of January as last January.  What he meant was it's tax time.  He also threatened to take me back to court for more child support, although my daughter has never slept in house in 17 years.  He has basically pocketed all the child support money he claimed he was saving for college (she is a freshman college and he has no money put back although he has 3 old collector corvettes he has bought over the years)

I am being harrassed, intimidated and blackmailed by my ex and have been for years.  I have kept this a secret and I don't know how to stop it.  He will never leave me alone and he is revengeful and vindictive.

I am looking for some legal advice and also an accountant that can assist me with my taxes this year.  I am current on my taxes so far.

Any advice is also welcome.

I'm a lawyer in the Atlanta area.  I do a lot of work in both the criminal and domestic areas.  If I can help, just email me at [email protected].  I also have a mailbox here, but it appears you do not.

It goes without saying, but everything will be held in the strictest confidence.

If you can PM me, I can get you some tax help.

You need good legal advice to make the extortion stop and put him in jail.

Extortion is a very serious felony, and it sounds like you could easily get the goods on him.

The downside will be exposure of what you do to your daughter.  I know that will be upsetting to you both, but I don't see a way around it if you want to stop this guy.

I suggest that you meet your daughter and come clean with her.  Show her the evidence (her grandparents too, for that matter) and then contact a lawyer on how to put this person away.

Let us know how it goes.

(still not a lawyer)

Like David Letterman...  the blackmailer only has power if he has a secret you want to keep.  You will need to come out to your family, especially your daughter, in advance which takes his power away.
Then you need an atty or maybe even Police.  If he has been taking money from you, he's been profiting from your business...  I wonder how that'll look.  
This likely will damage your business for a while.  I would suggest calling a women's shelter & getting legal referances for representation who would be non-judgemental.  

Extorsion is a Felony...  He'll not be happy when he sees the tables being turned.  You likely will need a restraining order.  Be careful.  Protect yourself.
skb

as far as the law is concerned, unless you have either contractually agreed to do so or a court in a separate order compels you to pay till your child reaches 20.


     Now if you are in arrears for pre-18 child support that is a different problem but your remedy was to go back to court and show :changed circumstances: when you lost your job.

     You can also get a court order requiring him to leave you alone if you make requisite showing of harssment. Extortion is a felony and it hardly seems he is in any position to go to the authorities himself. No way, however, that you can stop from telling your family.

Sorry to hear about such a sad situation.  I'm sure your stress level must be through the roof.

Unfortunately for all concerned, I don't see any way to avoid coming clean with the family members who you've tried to keep out of your business.  Much as it hurts, I think you need to find a way to put the best face on it and come clean.

Then, the good news is that you can now put the legal system to work for you and get the extortion stopped and possibly even put him in the pokey.

There are some fine attorney's in Atlanta and I think a brief message on the provider board will give you some names based upon experience.  The Georgia Bar Association can also be a good resource and only a phone call away.  If fees are an issue, legal aid would probably jump in given the situation you described.

Why did you pay support and not notify the court when u knew he wasn't raising the child? You complied with his blackmails? No offense but you need to get a spine.

you contact the Love Goddess on the Erotic Highway board to discuss the matter of your relationship with your daugher. As others have stated, I think it will be almost impossible for you to keep your secret from your daughter if you take action against your ex. The last thing you want is to have what you do (escorting), come from your ex. It needs to come from you. Good luck!

I don't think your daughter needs to find out in order to stop this.  There are potential legal means of stopping him AND keeping your secret.

Nothing is guaranteed, but if it's important to you it's worth considering.

As you can imagine, this is a very long story.  As it is half of my life that I have lived.

I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter and his parents.  They have loved and cared for her and taken wonderful care of her.  She was raised very well.  Went to the very best private Christian schools.  And it really doesn't even matter that her dad pocketed all that child support money.  It wasn't worth fighting over.  His parents didn't want or need the money. My child will never want or need for anything even after his parents are long gone from this earth.

His parents love me and although they love their son too, as rotten as he is.  He is still their son, blood.  Not really sure if they will take his side or not.  But I can tell you this.  His parents are terrified of him.  He has used my daughter to even control them all these years.  

Yes its very complicated.

Well, complicated or not, you seemed to have a very serious situation at hand, even life threatening I think in your opening post.  I think you got some very straightforward advice, as you requested...

I think the ball is now in your court to act on the advice regardless of where it comes from, and implement a plan of action to remedy the situation.  At least one attorney offered to consult with you, and I'm sure there will be others...

I don't think there is any benefit for you to discuss it any further in public.  I think you will be best served by pursuing the advice already given.

but the more information you provide the more it shows that you need professional legal help.  Whether you choose to contact me or someone else, I suggest you make sure that your lawyer is experienced in both criminal and domestic matters.

At the very least you will find out what you really DO need to worry about, and what you don't need to be worried about.

I hope it works out.

I am going through same situation..
But its happening now..

You need to stop seeing your ex, if you can move

You are doing a valid companionship..

What about wearing a wire to record him saying it, then playing copy of the tape to tell him leave you alone.

Bear in mind=this is probably something I saw on tv and that there are laws about recording people who don't know it, and this is well known so he might know. I would talk it over with a lawyer first.