saw a young lady a few times this winter, then i get an email from here stating she is PG, and says "it has to be yours", and it possibly could, (condom broke once), but she assured me its ok, i have no diseases, i was checked out and that part was good, now she says, she will want child support etc.. any advice?
she knows my name etc..

-- Modified on 5/7/2010 3:39:01 PM

the good news is you may be a father, believe me all kids are great, you have two options, offer to pay for a termination and  get out of the problem with some quick cash
or, wait till the child is born and ask for a DNA test and act accordingly
Be advised that there is some question whether Adam was really the father of Cain, and he was the only guy around, so there is more than an idle question of paternity here than  any certainty. If this is a pro, chances are she will wait and give you a chance to take a DNA test. If she is a gold digger then you are in for an embare-assing time.
Remember there is no shame in having sex with anyone unless you are married, then you have to Tiger Wood's it. All in all you are the stud man, think of this to cheer you up if all else goes up in flames.
More legal advice available should you need it.

Ok, this is more than an idle question, and one I've been contemplating asking anyway but:

DNA evidence has been used for a long time now because it was considered scientifically reliable.  Considering that DNA evidence can now be manufactured in a lab, can ANY evidence based on DNA, including paternity tests, be considered accurate?

Furthermore, given the cloning experiments done in other countries, and the knowledge and technology developed here and elsewhere, it is certainly possible that DNA can be extracted from a condom and used to impregnate someone.

This is an issue that must be scary to all of us.  Given modern technology we could use a condom with a provider, and still find ourselves paying child support and medical expenses.... it's scary...

I know this isn't exactly a legal issue.  Partly it is.  But it's also a medical/scientific one.  And food for thought.

I would ask you WHEN you saw her & WHEN she's due.  Do the math.  
If your condom broke "once" was it full?  Did you replace it?
She could be shaking down her whole client list.  
If it's yours you're pretty much screwed.  Be sure.
skb

for example, does she has reviews and are some of them in the same time period when you saw her?

You could learn something interesting that way.

Otherwise, I would consult a lawyer on this and find out exactly what the laws in your State say in regards to your rights and responsibilites.

Sure you can fake a lot, but if the child is checked by three or four different DNA labs, and they all agree that you are contributed fifty percent of that bambino, and then chances are, if you do not believe Johnny Mathis was heterosexual or have the OJ jury, you will be mailing child support payments to junior…..remember how much the “Dream Team” cost and that it bankrupted OJ even before he lost to Goldman (who collected nula mulla) in any Sacks

she is pretty much under the radar, i posted an add in the forum here and she replied, she did have an add on backpage, she has no reviews, her due date and the day i saw her about 10 days apart??, BUT.... she is from a small town and her dad works at the police station, and is terrified her family will find out...i mean its pretty obvious 25 years younger than me... so im sure she has no interest in me being involved in kids life, but i said, if u go after me for child support, joint custody, maybe scare her off??

or you she can abort for unwanted PG ... I would rather she does this.

if she's bullheaded and really wants the kid, that's tough.

Kewlvet,  a few thoughts:

1. Shudaknownbetter gave you some excellent advice: this provider could be shaking down her entire client list.  There's a good chance that she's not  even pregnant.  She may be running a con to squeeze you for $$$ for an 'abortion' that will never happen.  

2.  But let's say she is pregnant.  One condom break?  The odds of you being the father are nearly zero.  Much more likely it's her boyfriend who knocked her up, but you're a better target financially.

3. What's your next play?  This is the tricky part.  Act calm & don't panic.  Tell her you doubt you're the father.  Be business like & let her know that a DNA test will be required before you support any child.

4.  There's a slight risk here for you: she may carry the pregnancy to term and the DNA test may prove you're the father. If that happens, suggest adoption and offer her $$$ as an incentive.  This is worst case & i think the odds are more likely that you die in a car wreck than this scenario coming true.  

5.  Don't let her scare you.  The odds are overwhelmingly on your side--you know that and she knows it too.  Play those odds & see what happens.  Good luck,  --z

No, I wasn't on the OJ jury

But, I still have concerns about the legal system and the way it treats DNA testing and evidence in general.

Scenario #1:
Support I have sex with a woman with a condom.  The condom doesn't break.  But, she then uses the condom in some manner to impregnate herself.  The DNA tests will show I was the father but why should I have to pay child support.  If she never admits to doing that, and claims we didn't use condoms, i have no way to disprove her theory.

Scenario #2:
Suppose I win the lottery. Someone decides to get a big payday for themselves.  They get a sample of my DNA, go to some lab and manufacture DNA evidence - maybe to be used in a rape claim, maybe used to impregnate themselves or someone else, something that they think would get them a big payday.  Considering that the technique developed in Tel Aviv can be done in ANY biology lab, including a local college, all they need is some biology student who needs money to accomplish this.  I'm screwed.

Scenario #3:
Suppose I get stopped by the cops for something.  Maybe I fit the description of a rapist, or a murderer, or a pedophile, or whatever.  They become absolutely convinced that I'm the person they want, but they have no forensic evidence.  They get a sample of my DNA, go to a lab (again, a local college biology lab will do) and have forensic evidence manufactured.

In all 3 scenarios, I'm screwed even though I didn't do anything wrong.  Btw, #3 was used recently on a tv show (I think Law&Order) and what prompted me to start looking at this.  Not because I'm really scared this will happen to me but because I'm something of a knowledge sponge with too much time on his hands.  

But, in any event, all three scenarios are pretty damn scary... And there's no way for the poor schmo who gets caught up in it to prove otherwise.  All he has is his assertion that he didn't do it and we all know that everyone, even the truly guilty, says they're not.

In my opinion, the legal system is so far behind technology that it wouldn't surprise me to learn that the system fails 9 out of 10 times.

Sure it can, that is the whole point of wearing a condom, to keep Mr. Sperm from getting loose in the vagina and penetrating the surface of Miss Egg. If you don't believe broken condoms are a frequent source of babies, let me introduce you to a few of my children.

ask for documentation.

if she's really pregnant, it's a gamble to wait for the dna but FIRST get proof she's actually pregnant before you start offering money to terminate the pregnancy.

here's why i think this is important:

i'm sure she realizes you will insist upon the dna test but regardless,  she can't get a child support order until after the child is born so it's stupid to threaten a guy that you're going to get one when you first find out your pregnant because that gives the guy 9 months to transfer his assets. .. no way is any provider going to be 100% sure without the test anyway.

if she insists upon having the child against your wishes, i wouldn't blame you for transferring all your assets over to my name and claim that you're destitute so that the support order would be low.

i could sue you for mental distress because you posted this upsetting  question and as as long as you dont show up for court, i could win a judgement and attach your wages and then win-win for us and lose-lose for that horrible scammer.  (that's a joke, sort of)

the most important thing we havent yet discussed is what state are you in sweetie ?

child support is based upon income and the formula differs by state. some states are non-wage garnishable. texas, pennsylvania, florida, maybe nevada and i think massachusettes is weird too. i dont know if that applies to child support orders though. actually, never mind i just looked and all states allow garnishment for child support.


if she's telling the truth, at least you can be glad you got plenty of warning.

tell her you just got transferred to canada.

what she's doing isn't fair so don't even think for a minute that you have to be fair to her. she was paid for a no strings encounter and now she's trying to ROPE you for the next 18 years.  that's BREACH OF CONTRACT.

if all else fails, SKIP OUT

You DO need to do detective work...  but quickly.  If she is really "afraid her family will find out"...  She might be more agreeable to termination.  If she carries it, they are sure gonna find out!  This option is time specific.  It will cost you more than the price of a condom, but far less than child support.

If she decides to carry it, you don't have a lot of options...  except make sure it's yours.  

Sorry this happened,
skb

Dear Legal Beagle: Let's recap your advice to Kewlvett,  who admitted to *one condom break" during a session with a provider.  She now claims that he impregnated her.

You promptly replied with your "HELLO DADDY!" post.  Crazy you, take that lampshade off your head.  In subsequent posts you managed to throw out celebrity names like Johnny Mathis, O.J. Simpson, and Tiger Woods, people who are totally irrelevant to this thread.  

And your last post: "Can a broken condom cause a pregnancy? Hell Yeah!"    Why not post: Can buying one lottery ticket mean a $50 million jackpot?  HELL YEAH!  

You're playing games with someone who is worried and in distress.  You're posting in bad faith, you're not helpful and you're not funny.   --z



 

you posted a similar story five/six weeks ago, but different facts--are you for real or playing a game,several posters are very upset,please explain what is going on!

-- Modified on 5/8/2010 8:01:57 PM

see the MAIN problem here is... if social services or who ever sends any papers or documents to MY house, my wife will surely see it, then i mize well be dead

the facts are pretty much the same!, i changed a couple things, she does use this board and i really did not want her to see my postings, but now i really dont care, yes she is PG for sure, i am hoping she will just FORGET about me and go on with her life with her child, my hope is she is afraid of the embarrasment this will cause her, her family, child etc..because if my wife finds out, it will make CNN

SO I HAVE AN ADDICTION FOR LOVELY WOMEN...like 99.9% of the guys on here...

and you posted to the MN board last year, same story different handle a variable version of this one you're using now..
hmmmmm