I started seeing a  "well to do" man that lives 500 miles away aka 6 hours each way,

1) I rent a car
2) drive  the  long cumbersone 6 hour trip
3) spend the night with him
4) the next morning I go back
5) yet ,I am too exhausted from the drive the day before ..so I head straight to a decent hotel

6) rest & sleep

7) then head back early the next day for the 6 hr trip..

the guy gives me $200 ... i explained this is not enough,,as it cost me $450 after fuel ,rental car,food,and a hotel..So I have requested he pay 100% of my travel expences which is $450..
My question does the law consider this prostitution???

I make no profit and in fact have gone in  credit card debt for over $4000 as  he use to not give me any money to cover costs.until I told him i could no longer see him if I continued to go into this debt. also i really like him but he is divorced & does not want a serious relationship..thanks all.. I really want a man in my life and it would be no-one if not for him.. If someone else comes along I am free to date others

Let's look at this two ways:

First, from a purely rational point of view, this is not prostituion.  You like him, he likes you.  You have a relationship here.  You are making zero profit, quite the contrary actually, and he is helping you with some of the normal expenses involved with getting together.

Second, from a legal or perhaps LE point of view:

If an officer of the law just happened to overhear you say to the gentlemen that you expect to receive money in exchange for coming to see him so that you two can have sex (among other things perhaps), then he could reasonably think that prostitution is going on, set up a stakeout, catch him handing you money and bust both of you.   (I might point out that this is highly unlikely.)

You could, however, probably prevail in front of a jury by refering to the arguments in the first half of this exegesis and beat the rap.  All you have lost is $10,000 in legal fees and several days in court, to say nothing of the possible publicty that may cost both of you your livihoods and/or standing in your respective communities.  What a great system.

Your biggest problem is cutting down on this travel somehow, but that life's real problem, isn't it?

By the way, 500 miles in six hours?  My calculator tells me you are averaging over 82 mph.  Slow down and live.

I hope things all work out for you.

(still not a lawyer)

-- Modified on 11/6/2007 6:30:03 PM

Cathy,
It sounds to me like you are getting screwed, and not in a nice way.  Why doesn't he take turns making the 500 mile drive and come and see you?  He doesn't sound like a good catch to me.  You are having a give-and-take relationship.  You give, he takes.

my .02
Swim

Sometimes guys with too much time on their hands put up posts such as these that seem questionable.  A lady driving 500 miles, spending $4,000 and a lot of time for a little sex?  And she thinks she cannot find anyone else as nice and closer?

To answer the question, assuming it is an "honest question":

What comes to mind is the IRS rule that one cannot claim expenses as "business deductions" unless they can demonstrate they are really attempting to make a profit.

Most women sell sexual services to earn money, just what the law prohobits.  (I have had the pleasure of being with one lady who apparently is motived by a high sex drive and not a need for money; her donation rate is very reasonable, though still a crime.)

You are not seeing multiple clients, only one man and you do not seem to be making a profit.

However, the practical question is why do you think law enforcement would ever find out about you?  You are not advertising, are you?  (Perhaps you should try "women seeking men" or even "casual encounters" on the closest Craigslist as an alternative.)

(mr fisher is not a lawyer; a few of us here are.)

I think you are reading this as a provider driving to see a client. I read this as a woman driving to see her man. I might be off base, but I think cathyb is not a provider (at least not with this man) and is asking if requesting her man to pay her expenses of driving to see him would constitute prostitution. The answer to that is absolutely not, and if he had any smarts/chivalry he would have been at the very least splitting the cost with you the whole time.

I totally agree with you Swim. It should be a guy that drives to see a woman or at least he should buy her a plane or a bus ticket.
It looks like this guy is just using you. Forget about him, you deserve a real gentlemen.

intended as expense reimbursement or as compensation for your time?  If you are having an "all-nighter" for $200, there are many, many men in your hometown who would love to see you!

Thank you ,you said it best...bless you,

and the reason I am concerned about unwanted attention is I have a personal injury case pending.

I would say that .2 is prostitution on your behalf. And him paying you for your expenses is "promoting prostitution" If you really wanted to be technical about it.

1) Why not rest and sleep at his place?

2) "If someone else comes along I am free to date others" - Find someone else. It doesn't sound like you are getting much out of the relationship, other than physical intimacy. You might as well post on CL and get 100 guys responding.

3) Yes, it is prostitution, but no district attorney in his right mind would prosecute in your case (given the facts as you have presented). It is interesting that "nonmarital" only applies to #1 of the following:

944.30 Prostitution. Any person who intentionally does any of the following is guilty of a Class A misdemeanor:

(1) Has or offers to have or requests to have nonmarital sexual intercourse for anything of value.

(2) Commits or offers to commit or requests to commit an act of sexual gratification, in public or in private, involving the sex organ of one person and the mouth or anus of another for anything of value.

(3) Is an inmate of a place of prostitution.

(4) Masturbates a person or offers to masturbate a person or requests to be masturbated by a person for anything of value.

(5) Commits or offers to commit or requests to commit an act of sexual contact for anything of value.

While I read what the law says and I completely understand it, the way I read her case is that she's a normal girl having normal sex with her man. She asks him for reimbursement for travel expenses, but not for the act itself. It would be like him giving her cab fare home.

I think if you paid your gf/ wife/ booty call $20 for a cab ride home, you wouldn't be guilty either.

I'm no lawyer, but I am certainly literate and I would believe that it's not something to be considered as prostitution, although I'm sure there is always some shady station and cops who will arrest anything in sight hoping to make a buck for their town.

Just my .02

Katie

Will they bother to? Probably not

Can LE convict you? Very difficult

Should you dump the guy? Yes of course...unless he agrees to drive to you as many times as you drive to him.

-- Modified on 11/11/2007 10:24:22 AM

You are just a girl going to visit her boyfriend. That would no more be prostitution then would it be considered a Mann Act violation for someone to pay for the airline ticket for their girlfriend or boyfriend to come visit them in another State. Could a dirty cop or DA bust you anyway? Sure they could. They can bust anyone at anytime even when they know as a fact that no criminal act has taken place. They know that most people will plea bargain anyway instead of spending the money to fight in court, even when they did nothing wrong and can probably win. Its a dirty system. But you aren't doing anything that is illegal.

The problem is: "So I have requested he pay 100% of my travel expences which is $450..", the implication being, if you want booty, you have to pay me $450.

So, if I see a traveling lady, and she asks me to reimburse her $300 for part of her airfare to get to my area and a hotel for the night, then she is not committing prostitution?

FYI: paying the wife $20 for cab fare is ok under 944.30(1), but not under (4) and (5). Go figure. Next time, I'll tell my wife, "sorry dear, I can't give you $20 because I don't want break the law and make you a prostitute".

So If a man wants to buy me a car or a fur coat as long as I sleep with him that's prostitution too?  Shesssh