Legal Corner

Potential divorce issues
LStryer 8426 reads
posted
1 / 9

I have a couple questions about divorce and our little pastime.  Thanks for any info:

1.  Can a spouse obtain legal access to private e-mail accounts (e.g. hotmail or yahoo accounts of the other spouse)?

2.  If a couple owns a joint cell phone account (but different numbers), can a spouse access phone call records and use them to prove adultery?  Would a phone record of calls to an identified provider phone number constitute sufficient evidence to establish adultery as grounds for divorce?

At present, these are just questions about a hypothetical situation.  However, feel free to flame about not using a disposable cell phone.  Also, any other suggestions about minimizing spousal exposure would be appreciated.  Thanks.

vonrichtofenlas 15 Reviews 4914 reads
posted
2 / 9

Most, but not ALL, states are 'no fault' regarding divorce these days.   She can have pictures of you with farm animals and you can have pics of her with the football team and the judge won't even look at them, they are irrelevant.  
You have to check your state laws.

MVR

JB1982 17 Reviews 7076 reads
posted
3 / 9

Most (but not all) states now follow the federal rules of civil procedure for divorce cases.  Under that rule her attorney can require YOU and YOUR attorney to produce:

Any designated documdents or electronically stored information - including writings, drawings, graphss, charts, photographs, sound recordings, images, and other data compliations - stored in any medium from which information can be obtained either directly or, if necessary, after tranlation by the responding party into a reasonably usuable form.

Phone calls to a provider probably wouldn't PROVE adultry, but, if they could ID the provider, they could call her as a witness and sure make things uncomfortable for both of you.

shudaknownbetter 4826 reads
posted
4 / 9

If you do your job right, SHE will never know about your private e-mail accounts.  An ISP would cooperate with a criminal investigation, not a civil matter...  no fishing expeditions allowed.  (But if she gains access, through some means, you're screwed.)  On a shared computer there is danger that keystroke logging programs could be installed or the hard drive restored (deleted mesasages).  Some brousers are better than others & there are cleaning programs like "Windows Washer".  You should routinely wash your computer.  Better yet, do not use a shared computer.  A second hand lap-top & a 3G card avoid some of this...  if you keep it clean as well.  

Business computers are very dangerous since they & their internet connections belong to the company and are fair game for IT folks to monitor.  Some folks have lost 6 figure jobs over this.

Cell phone records could probably be accessed...  it might not be grounds for divorce but they can certainly beat you up with it a settlement time.  
A hobby phone is a cheap protection.  Keep it turned OFF & stashed when not in use.  Worst case, it can always be destroyed.  

Never use credit cards someplace you're not supposed to be.  I gas the car the day before, locally.

EasyPass has been used in court against men who were not where they were supposed to be.  It's rare, but it is the confirmation of the suspicion.  

Sincerely, I hope you're not looking at divorce if you dojn't want to, but if you must, don't give ammunition to stick it to you.  
skb

shudaknownbetter 5607 reads
posted
6 / 9

if she gets her suspicions up, you're already too late.  At that point, she already "knows" but can't prove / be sure.  

If you think it's headding towards the big D, lay off the hobby until you're out.  

I don't hobby a lot...  and fit it into my schedule so the day looks like every other day...  lunch at the diner (time normally varies).  A lot of my earlier thoughts is about keeping things normal...  buying gas in normal places (you might want to gradually expand your normal).  I increased my weekly cash "pocket money"...  I build the excess in my drawer, to replenish my daily funds...  no bank run on hobby day.  

When I started the hobby, I promised I'd not do anything dumb...  but after reading TER, I found lots of things I needed to do better.  
skb

sj12254 30 Reviews 5530 reads
posted
7 / 9

From my experience since you share the account (are both names listed) she has rights to the account.  The only way she can have access to your cell phone records,with out a court order, is for you to give your permission to the cell provider to add her as one having access since you have seperate accounts but

Also I bought one of the small laptops (under $300) to use as a hobby computer.  If I have to toss it for some reason that is so much cheaper than court costs.

Angus1540 1 Reviews 5643 reads
posted
8 / 9

Unless you live in New york (the only state left where cause / fault is a consideration) it makes little difference if you hobby or not.
Private emails are private.  If you need a password to get in to them, then they're not fair game without a subpoena.  My ex hacked my yahoo mail and is being arraigned by the DA for a level 3 misdemeanor for it.

Custody is another matter entirely, while a totally different set of rules.  

the best thing is to be straight up with your divorce attorney and follow his or her directions

WilliamJeffersonClinton 4689 reads
posted
9 / 9

but remember that a determined spouse, with the aid of a good lawyer and a PI can get just about anything.  Hobby phone (and trash it and get a new one every 3-6 months), hobby pc (that no one knows about but you - and keep it well hidden - albeit perhaps illegal, a determined spouse or PI may even sneak into and search your office as "cleaning staff or otherwise", use disposable emails that you change every 3-6 months - and cash accumulation off the record as others observe-these minimize the risk, but its never completely done.  Also, beware of GPS tracking - your spouse can buy a GPS tracker the size of a BIC lighter, hide it in your car, and get a detailed record of everywhere you go - so alway pick a place to park that has another plausible "raison d'etre" - a store, a clientlunch/meeting - that you can explain away. (or if you search the vehicle and find the GPS tracker, don't let on that you find it, just temporarily remove it and leave it hidden in/near your parking lot at work whenever you venture out - that way it looks like you never left (or if in a city, use transit to get to incalls).  Always assume you may be being followed and take a round about route that gives you a chance to double back or otherwise observe if your being followed.  And lastly, though I've not heard mention of it being done, I have to assume that some provider might be willing to share info with your spouse for a fee higher than yours if she identifies them.  Lastly, avoid leaving genetic evidence - I always dispose of my own condoms - by flushing at the incall or carry out with me and depositing in trash elsewhere.

You can also turn the table on your spouse and do the same to her to track her email, travels, calls - see if she's calling a divorce attorney or a PI.  It may be illegal and inadmissible, but if you know what your spouse is up to, who she is talking to, and what terms she wants/will accept in a divorce, it sure gives you a big advantage, and its one that you may never let on you had.  Just don't tell you lawyer or anyone else - they might have to turn you in or turn it over as evidence - they cannot be complicit in anything illegal or unethical, but in divorce, all is fair game, and it may save you a lot of money.

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