I've got a friend here in Minneapolis who is one of the states top defense attorneys.  I always figured I would hire him if I were to get into anything sticky.  

He is essentially my girlfriends husband.  Nobody knows what I really do for work (since I've got a degree it's been pretty easy to tell them I'm just "in advertising" for a big firm).

Here is the question though (I'm hoping it does not sound ignorant but keep in mind I'm relatively new to the "biz"):

If I ask him general questions about the local laws for "erotic massage" and ask him to keep in confidential does he have to do it?  

If he does, does this mean I can just phrase it as "I've got a friend who would like to know...", even if he's going to know it's me, just to make him feel more comfortable?

If he does not need and/or aloud to keep it confidential, would he be obligated in any way to notify the LE if I just came out and told him it was me who wanted to know or let him know that this is what I was doing?

If anyone knows this or has a suggestion for me on how to approach him with this, let me know.

What you are looking for is free advise.  It is very dangerous, not that he'd tell LE but what about your g/f?  If he was hired as your attourney, he could not divilge (but you could never be 100% sure).  
Either hire him (and make it clear you demand his discretion) or find someone else.  A secret is only a secret when you're the only one who knows.  
skb

I would pay the guy to give me advice.  It's not the "free" part that I would be looking for.

I guess I should maybe do my homework first and find a new attorney and go from there.  

As an officer of the bar, he is not allowed to advise you on how to go about breaking the law.

In fact, if he learns of any criminal activity, he may be duty bound to report this unless you are a client of his.  (Legal client)

On the other hand, he is certainly allowed to tell you what the laws are and to interpret certain behaviors as falling within or without the bounds of the law.

So, it's all in how things are asked.

(still not a lawyer)

That's what I figured.

Do you know if I can "hire him" without needing him for court or before I even get into any trouble?  

I'm just trying to be proactive here, I'm such a small time player with a really low profile but, I'm not ignorant enough to think that it can't happen to a girl with 90% regular clients and I keep very little company.  

Thanks for your advice, Mr F.

the lawyer would have no obligation to keep the information confidential, at least as far as the Rules of Professional Conduct are concerned.

      In states that have adopted  the uniform Rules of Professional Conduct, however, a different rule would apply if you disclosed the information in the course of discussing the possibility of forming an attorney-client relationship. Where discussions with a prospective client occur, a lawyer generally is precluded from using or revealing information learned from the consultation, although there are a few exceptions to this rule.

        But, unless the lawyer is a criminal defense lawyer with experience in this area, or otherwise has knowledge of this area, he is unlikely to be able to give you meaningful advice based on his general knowledge of the law. There is no substitute for due diligence on your own part before you consult him. Read the applicable statutes in your state governing massage and prostitution. Many states also have regulations governing massage that you would have to consult.

         Armed with this general knowledge, you then can approach professionals with the ability to determine if they have sufficient knowledge to assist you in further understanding this area. And beware the lawyer who tells you he knows the answer off the top of his head. Even among experienced lawyers, there is no substitute for research and analysis tailored to your specific fact situation on all but the most basic legal questions.

No attorney knows all the law off the top of their head.  But the only way to get your attorney to not be allowed to tell anyone is to pay him.  Otherwise he can tell whoever he wants.  But since you have to pay him anyways, I personally would find a diffrent attorney.  One that doesn't know you or any of your friends.  Confidentiality or not, you can be sure he's going to tell his wife plus he himself will look at you difrently.  Or you could tell him in your advertising job a massage parlor has contracted you to advertise for them.  You know what the parlor is doing but you want to make sure they do not get arrested.  There are a couple of solutions to your problem.  Hope it helps

Trust me, it changes the way you are advised and it WILL interfere in your personal relationships whether he breaks your confidence or not.  

Think of it this way, every time your GF looks at you funny or gets bitchy, you are going to wonder if she knows and who she'll tell, and chances are she doesn't know a thing.  Every time you tell a group of friends that he is in that you "in advertising" he will know that you are lying.

He's her husband as well.  That is a burden you don't need to saddle him with.  It is one thing to do a will for someone and know their assets without telling the wife, but to know that her friend is involved in something that could lead to her getting hurt without sharing is another thing.

Speaking as a lawyer, IMHO you should get a different lawyer.

. . . I would be especially careful in speaking about what I plan to do in the future if my plans even arguably included the commission of a crime. As marikod noted above, there are exceptions to the rule that requires lawyers to maintain the confidentiality of information relating to a representation. Under Minnesota rules, the exceptions appear to be broader than under the uniform Model Rules to which marikod referred. In particular, in Minnesota, "[a] lawyer may reveal information relating to the representation of a client if . . . (4) the lawyer reasonably believes the disclosure is necessary to prevent . . . the commission of a crime." Minn. R. Prof. Conduct 1.6(b).

Please understand that I am not a practicing lawyer (in Minnesota or anywhere else). I don't purport to be giving legal advice. I'm just pointing out that the candid discussion of the legal status of past conduct (from which you may be able to draw some conclusions on your own about the legality of intended future conduct) is safer than the similarly candid discussion of future conduct, even in the context of a professional consultation. Of course, a qualified Minnesota lawyer can also advise you far better than I about confidentiality in the lawyer-client relationship under Minnesota law.

and to have their phone number on your cell phone's speed dial.

(still not a lawyer)

Some of the things you put down make a ridiculous amount of sense.  Things I didn't think about like her knowing and me being paranoid that she knows and him seeing me and the feeling that he knows MIGHT make me feel weird.  In addition to if he did tell that could ruin a lot of friendships.  

It is very important to me to keep this private and even with that said, I didn't think he would tell anyone or that I'd get freaked out thinking he would.  One drunk night where he spills the beans could be horrible for me.  

So on last question then, I've never been in any sort of trouble before so getting a retainer is just paying someone like 1k to keep "just in case", right?  

If that is the case, how long is the retainer good for?

I'll probably google this question but in case I can't find it feel free to let me know if you do know.  

I feel like such a novice.  I think I might be right about what it is, just not 100% sure.

If you find someone you trust to research & give you legal advise...  then discuss possible retainer or on call relationships.  Maybe an annual update like an accountant?  

I agree that phrasiology could be vital.  If I had done this (in the past), what would have happened?  

I'm impressed with the good advise.
skb

As some of the others pointed out, the general rule of thumb is that past crimes are confidential, future crimes are not.  Money does not have to change hands.  The attorney/client relationship is established as soon as you seek his advice.

I agree that you should find a lawyer who is not connected to you personally.  

Who knows, maybe you could barter services with each other.

How much does it cost to have a lawyer on retainer?

There is attorney client privilege but if you are not his client I don't think your communications to him are protected.