I’m sure that many of you have noticed the progressive increase of negativity on this board lately which has resulted in the creation of a rather hostile environment.

It’s likely that the sarcastic, rude, condescending, often inappropriate, sometimes incoherent, occasionally defamatory and almost always belligerent posts are a great source of joy and entertainment for a select few…relative newbies.  

However, it’s unfortunate that the above mentioned ongoing mental masturbation-circle jerk sessions are diminishing the value of this board for the rest of us and driving away some well meaning veterans of this hobby, e.g., http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=19161&boardID=3&page=1

BTW - I’m expecting (and ready for) a fair amount of criticism for having the audacity to open this discussion.

It will be interesting to note how many of my critics will use an alias…or how many aliases my critic will use.

I agree with you completely. I have my hand up!

it just takes all the fun out of boards.  It is meant to be entertainment.  

Ciao,
xoxox
Isabella

Nikki, Did you have anyone particular in mind? And Please Note---

That my comments to BPPlv were only in regard to Nichols request for privacy and the fact that BPPlv posted all the personal information anyway.  In the very first part of BPPlv’s post he said  “She is a private lady and did not want to put on the boards that she was having some serious medical problems.”  I only asked BPPlv if he had written the post incorrectly or I had misunderstood.  I hope you also noted that I referred to BPPlv as a “sensitive guy” and that my prayers are with Nichole.  

I certainly did not see anything inflammatory or demeaning thrown at BPPlv -  In fact, when he took down his post and declared his abandonment of the TER Board there were 3 or 4 posts expressing concern over Nichole, one post raising a concern over some sort of comparative event sometime back that may have been fraudulent (not sure I ever go the full jest of it).  And then my post.  Even today, BPPlv’s post has generated very little comment.

So perhaps I am misreading your post here as well – Please let me know where I am missing the point.

Right on Nikki, why is everyone so critical?...this board should be here to help...too many ego's at play. I hardly ever post on the discussions - mostly like to read it - but we can find negativity everywhere, this is supposed to be a fun relaxing "hobby" not a high horse deal where everyone attempts to define and label people, actions and their motives.

out in your pictures and posts, especially this one.  Well written by a person who is secure in who she is and able to express her thoughts clearly

-- Modified on 10/24/2004 7:00:02 AM

But I’ll have to put my good sense before my desire to satisfy your curiosity since it would only serve to create even more disharmony.
It would also cause personal animosity towards me from people whom I have no wish to be enemies with. I trust that you can see the wisdom in my decision to keep this general.

The truly vicious stuff hasn't even made it to the board. I have the worst offenders on moderation and have not been allowing some posts through.

I can crack down on the board much harder but I do not feel that it is necessary. Most of the posters here are responsible and well behaved adults. However we have a few trolls that like stirring up the pot. The biggest problem is that the responsible posters are letting themselves be drawn in by these obvious troll posts and then the fur starts flying.

I remove any post that is obviously aimed at just upsetting people...but there are a number of topics that just set certain people off. Some of you have to develop either a thicker skin or learn to ignore the obvious jibes at you. The guys have to learn to not jump to the protection of their favorite ladies everytime someone posts something about her. Most of the providers are very capable of defending themselves. Just because one guy has a negative opinion does not mean you have to attack him. This hobby is very much Your Mileage Will Vary.

If anyone, provider or client, feels they are being singled out and unfairly attacked, then please contact me. I will not stand for personal attacks against people. If you have an opinion, state it and do so in an adult fashion. Keep the name calling off the board.

If enough people contact me wishing for me to crack down harder on the board I will do so. Just be aware that it goes both ways.

Let's all try to enjoy the board and our hobby without going to war over some minor garbage

MichaelCA, moderator

-- Modified on 10/22/2004 5:40:09 PM

This is a discussion board and people are allowed to have different opinions.  When someone starts a thread with a negative comment directed at another person or group of people, then the person posting should be prepared to take some opposing comments that are directed his/her way.  Disagreement is acceptable, vicious personal attacks are not.

I also agree that some guys always protect the ladies they've seen regardless of what that provider has posted.  This a** kissing is annoying and, IMHO, usually indicates a small minded person.

At the risk of being accused of a** kissing, I commend you for doing a good job moderating this board.

Very well put Nikki  In fact, this is the reason I don't bother to post out here anymore. It's very easy to pick apart what people post. Even if you spend hours chosing the right words, it seems like someone (who has too much time on their hands) will come along and twist your words into an argument to satisfy their egos in a hope to give themselves some sort of identity.

Of doiing little as*. kissing.. while doing big as* sucking.. LOL... PLUUUU EEESSSS... now.. lets get to Nicoles. drowning...???? are we still arguing about who is going to rescue her.>???? LOL>.

yea.. its a shame.. in fact.. is Nicole still drowning..??????????

I`m still trying to figure out.. Nicole Who..??? and if.. she needs some friends.. that  might have some books and knowledge on the facts..??? I have alot.. >>>>> ( BOOKS).. LOL >> Please.. lets get pass this ego crap  and try  to help some one..     ( Nicole)  she is probably   just having a hard time  .. >>   turning on the PC.. much less arguing.. if we are  all raising our hands in agreement..>>OMG.. get pass that crap.. and lets all LEND a hand... !!!! NOW !!

This board is suppose to be fun, but with the negativity that has been going on, it is far from fun anymore.  Over the past six months or so, I have posted less and less on these boards.  I just find too many people hiding behind aliases so they can take anonymous jabs at the guys and the ladies.  I don't have time for this.  If I wanted drama, I would watch the soap operas in the afternoon.

In reference to what recently happened to BPP for posting about Nicole.  He was doing that as a concerned friend and to make other friends of Nicole aware of her situation.  To me, the board is an excellent way of letting her friends knows what was up.  But of course, some of the drama people here had to put their two cents in, why??  What were they trying to gain??  I just don't understand their negative attitude.  Yes, the core of this board is centered on the hobby, but it is an excellent way of maintaining communications between all of us.  But little by little, some of the great veterans are leaving the boards here; and that is a great loss for all of us.

Nikki, I am glad that you brought this topic to the front burner.  As with any problem situation, it is always best to openly discuss it rather then say nothing and let it eat away at you.  And sure, there will be some negative feedback to your post, but the positive feedback will out weight the negative.

I'd also like to note that MichaelCA is doing a helluva job moderating this board and filtering a lot of bullshit negative messages that we don't see and probably are glad that we don't see.

There is no reason why we all can't just get along and be friends.  Life is too short for all this drama, and guess what, in a hundred years all of this really won't matter.

Ken

and so do feelings>>> "NICOLES.".. lets all remember.. that is where our thoughts should be.. get pass this crap.. and think about the post BPP posted.. and then TOOK down.. because he could`nt take the NEGATIVE response..???? OMG.. where are the heros now..????

I've enjoyed TER for maybe a year and a half or so, it's been very helpful and informative....in my quest.
I just resently began to look at the Dicsussion Boards....some interesting and helpful thoughts and opinions, but, yes, I totally agree that many resent replys, by seemly intelligent people.....were too quickly posted and probably, not thought out well.  
I started a tread a couple of weeks ago....and appreciated the varying opinions and thoughts.....but, also realized that many responed without fully reading what I had to say.
Since this fighting has taken over the board....I have tried to post several times.....things, to lighten up the situation, but unfortunately, am on moderation (probably grouped with many in LV) because I'm new.....and, as MichaelCA explained in a PM...to make sure I'm not one of the hot heads.  I understand and appreciate that....but, do look forward to being able to participate.......Maybe even broaden the discussions some.  That I fear will be even more delayed as Michael continues to have a large amount of unbeneficial crap coming in.  and, If things are like this on the board.....IMHO....it even weakens some other imput areas of TER....like the reviews????

S.B. Ken – Still do not see what “Happened” ----

To BPPlv?  As I wrote to Nikki – prior to BPPlv statement of departure – there were no rocks thrown at anybody.  One poster compared the situation to some past event I know nothing about and then I posted surprise that BPPlv would post such personal information on an apparent tragedy when, by BPPlv’s own words “She is a private lady and did not want to put on the boards that she was having some serious medical problems.”  Further, I asked for correction if I misunderstood or he wrote incorrectly.  

Where I think this thread went astray was that none of this should be about BPPlv – it was supposed to be about Nichole – I expressed concern only for her privacy.  She had my prayers then and she is in them now.

The providers I see are predominantly in LA and Vegas.  For quite a while a was active on both boards.  However, I've noticed the same thing Nikki references on this board over the last several months and, as a result, have chosen to retreat to the LA board for the most part.

Overall, the LA board is full of insightful, intelligent, interesting people, with a lot of great information and proper sensitivity.  Frankly, it's just a lot more fun to hang out on.

The Vegas Board has transgressed into a bunch of dick waving, under-fed egos and misplaced hostility.

Nikki, my hand's up...something with which I know you're quite familiar.

Jacksonlips

-- Modified on 10/23/2004 6:54:39 PM

For how a board should function, go to the Chicago Board. I can't believe the crap in the LV board. I don't know why the juvvies don't start a chat group somewhere. This ain't no chat board, guys. At least, it shouldn't be. If I ran the joint, I'd practice judicious deletion.

Somebody had to say it.

I'm normally not a fan of message boards, but since I'm traveling to your area soon I thought I would look in to see what was going on in this neighborhood.  I thought I would simply check to see what's been going on around town.

I beagn looking on this board about a week ago and was completely shocked.

From an outsiders standpoint, I felt as if I was reading from a script taken from a television soap opera.  Even worse, it looked like I was in the middle of a schoolyard brawl, with all the 'children' taking respective sides for each combatant.

I think that you Ms. Avalon, have hit the proverbial nail on the head, and thank you for your comments.

Now I know why I stay away from these boards....

-- Modified on 10/24/2004 9:49:54 PM

NIkki:  You are right on the money!  Thanks for your $.02, I hope people listen

L.A. boy here.  I'm just kidding though.  Yes, jealousy and ego's do come in the way of us having fun here.  Nikki, thanks for your boldness to address this issue.  I raise my hand in support.  MichaelCA, great job too!

Just about everyone of these boards goes through cycles.  Those that point to Chicago, Los Angeles, etc, as shinning examples are just deluding themselves.  While they might be more civil over recent weeks or even months, they all have had their fair share of hate and drama and in reality they have nothing over this board should you look at each over a longer period of time.

Yes I believe we are in a "bad" part of the cycle right now. Too many read too much into a number of posts and often take something out of context or assume the posted words to mean something they don't.  Try not to read between the lines as there are no facial expressions or body language to guide us and something meant in total jest might be seen as spiteful by another. The author of a post must also take care and attempt to make his words clear and concise so as not to be misunderstood.

Let everyone remember we are each welcome to an opinion and while we might not agree that isn't cause for name calling or flame throwing.  

We can all get along if we really try but ridicule isn't the way to do it.  While white knights have a place here there are times they too share some of the guilt. I believe each of us tires of the repetitive posts that touts their favorites as the best thing since sliced bread and they could be a little more selective in those type of posts. . . . and if someone here feels guilty and thinks I'm pointing a barb at them - I'm not as I have no one particular individual or individuals in mind.

As a seperate issue:  One thing that, at least for me, that detracts from this and other boards is those whom use it as if it was a chat room.  It would seem that each time a particular person posts one of their favorites (be it provider or client) must post behind them with some little "cute" thing.  Often it can be an inside joke or saying that means little or nothing to the rest of us and is really of little value on a discussion board.  

Actually Nikki, I don't read those threads or participate in them.  Life is too short for that sort of nonsense.