Met up with another "favorable" local and that was a mistake! She had already met up with another client and had been drinking. I met her at her favorite bar and she knew most of the people there. She had 3 glasses of wine with me in a matter of 45 minutes.
She was up and down and bipolar during our entire conversation. I knew within the first 5 minutes I should've gotten out of there. But was afraid of an embarrassing out burst from her.
Just a suggestion...you may have more credibility if you didn't post under an alias. Also you have made clear who you were unhappy with and why, but the two ladies you mention being grateful for at the end remain unnamed and got just one line and a quick thank you. From the experiences you just had you can see how valuable a good provider is. Help them out, and your fellow hobbyists as well, by praising the providers who served you well as vigorously as you have condemned the ones you are unhappy with. Like I said, just a suggestion.
"Anonymity is a shield from the tyranny of the majority... It thus exemplifies the purpose behind the Bill of Rights, and of the First Amendment in particular: to protect unpopular individuals from retaliation - and their ideas from suppression - at the hand of an intolerant society."
Justice John Stevens. United States Supreme Court.
I, too, have no problem with anonymity. But she has a point. If you're going to openly criticize 2 ladies with exactly why you're unhappy, and then say Thank You to two ladies that you did see...tell us who the two ladies are and why they were great. Then post a couple of reviews so the rest of us can enjoy, too.
Sorry, I normally wouldn't bash anyone, but I feel something needs to be said. If you have a problem with a provider, regardless of that problem, then state it in your review, which can't be aliased. If a provider has suffered a setback in her life, for whatever reason, have some compassion. It may take others longer to "Get their act together" as you so indelicately put it. These ladies provide us with a service that goes far beyond anything most of us are willing to do. The least we can do is to show some respect and kindness towards them. I understand if someone no-shows, that can ruin your evening. thats why you can review them, and let other hobbiests know what happened or didn't happen. And if you were priviledged to spend some quality time with someone, then also let everyone know, via the review that you post. You can always give a little extra mini-review. Just think about what you say on the board, and use a little fore thought. As a side bar, to Lea. I have never met you, nor do I know what may have occured in your life recently, but know that you are in the thoughts of a lot of people who do know you, and at least one who doesn't. You have my thoughts and prayers as well as of those close to you.
I'm probably not alone in thinking: 1) that anonymity is crucial. it's a tricky thing to be critical of someone, perhaps unstable, who can do some real damage knowing your identity. Further, I've written in the past on TER in opposition to providers who invite or request TER handles for verification; in order to be candid and meaningful, reviews must be anonymous. I myself have been hesitant in the past about writing critical reviews for fear of upsetting someone who might want to respond. 2) The fact that someone is going through some tough times should evoke the heart of compassion--but not absolute acceptance. I have no idea what went on but certainly personal trouble does not validate unprofessional behavior. Like many I have gone to work during moments of crisis or tragedy--I do my best, appreciate the support, and if i cannot behave responsibly then I am called on it, i hope with kindness. If escorts are to be treated as professionals and respected as such, they must act that way. 3) It is an obvious problem that using an alias may allow unfair and untrue posts. This seems to be the necessary drawback to the system. Personally, I think it's great that people can be candid, and can vent--there's nowhere else to do it. 4) It is entirely possible that the original poster has or will write reviews of the two positive experiences. Perhaps he just didn't want to combine the criticism with the praise. 5) in short, i find this kind of post to be one of the best things about TER, despite the risks of anonymity.
At the risk of offending Mr. Chilson with words of compassion, I've talked to a couple ladies in recent weeks that have had some bad shit happen in their personal and professional lives. Certainly, we all have it, and it's part of life. The difference is that I can be a miserable bastard at work and nobody will care (in my case, few would even notice), but it's tough to have to be "on" regardless of what's happening in your life. Then, and you may be amazed by this, they get some douchebag customer.
It's a big, bad world out there. If you had a bad experience, you have my sympathies, and I would encourage a review stating your case. Before you un-hinge on someone, it would be nice to at least consider that you're talking about a person.
I HATE aliases! If you have something to say, kind or unkind about someone, stand up and say it! For you to knock this wonderful lady, Lea, who has FIVE solid pages of 8's 9's and 10's, after you have admitted that you knew she had a personal tradgedy occur recently, is absolute BULLS*IT by You, the anonymous poster. One thing I know FOR SURE is that you don't deserve to see Lea, you slimy little coward.
You are correct, to a point. The day that you're at work and get the news that a parent or child has died...how responsible and productive are you gonna be. Personally, I'd be a mess, as I think anyone possessing human emotion would be. Clearly, the appropriate action should be to go home and re-group. Whatever the tragedy in this particular situation, perhaps it was handled badly, but I'd argue by BOTH parties. If I'm with a provider that's clearly distracted, I'm going to say something to her and come to an understanding. The options may include rescheduling, a discount, a sub-par review or any of a number of other options. Maybe I'll just suck it up, and move on. I think that kicking someone when they're down is probably the worst option. Doing it without identifying yourself is just chickenshit. While I agree that concern for your personal info is reasonable, I've got to believe that the ladies mentioned could figure out who he is anyway.
YEAH!~~~~~~~~~~ I KNOW Lea on the inside~~ she is a BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, CHILD AND SPIRIT... so.. joke them if they can`t take a fuck..LOL> well you know what I mean~~ and I`m beginning to really like ACIDOM>~~ I must of had too many glasses of wine... !
A few quick thoughts: I agree that your solution is the best--try to reschedule, etc--though this can feel tricky at the time. (I've had a few nights when i wish i had had the nerve to say 'no thanks.') I am not for kicking anyone when they're down; in fact, one thing i like about this forum is that it can be a place of emotional support for people who are suffering. I'm all for rallying around, chipping in, and helping out. But at the same time, while providers are human and are certainly friends to many out here, they are also professionals and are paid as such. And when I'm choosing a provider I want to avoid surprises and bad scenes. One of the problems with the "stick it in a review" is that some behavior doesn't show up in reviews--for example, when a provider is in trouble and starts no-showing, disappearing, etc. It's not uncommon that a provider runs into a bad streak and starts to behave unprofessionally and yet it doesn't appear in reviews. (This happened recently here with a top provider struggling with a family illness and death. She seemed to be melting down; her reviews remain stellar.) When choosing, i want to know if a provider is not handling things well during her meetings--this is, in part, a resource for those of us trying to make smart choices. So perhaps your point is that the original poster could have been nicer, and maybe you're right. (Though maybe he's allowed to be angry and frustrated.) It seems to me a tough call: when a provider's personal life is interfering with her work, how does it get handled? I saw a popular Vegas provider 18 months ago who had lost her brother and was trying to deal with it. We talked at some length--she was appreciative--and we also had our fun (or I had mine). I wasn't going to mention it to anyone, though I think, from later reviews, that it might have gotten the better of her. Finally, back to the alias question: we all use aliases out here so the question is rather one of accountability. It's a good point. But I also think we have to recognize that sometimes there's a conflict between freedom of expression and community standards. It's a pity when someone gets hurt because of someone else's reckless words; and it's worse when those words are untrue; but would we want to give up anonymity out here?
By using an alias, "rockme" wasn't hiding his identity from the two girls he panned. If what he said was true, they would easily recognize him from his post. He didn't want the rest of us readers to know who he is! I'm afraid I have to agree with Jeffrey, as well as he put it, lol!
The few times I have met with Lea, she has been as sweet as anyone I've ever dealt with, and I'm sure that was genuine and not put on. She had no reason to not be in a good mood those times though, I guess. So I have not seen her during a bad time in her life, but I can understand why she went ahead and met with the author of the original post, even though her mood might not have been the best. She probably needed company, and someone to share her sorrow with, and take her mind off of it. She was probably hoping for some compassionate understanding, and instead found a guy who doesn't appreciate drama! Maybe she should have known that would be likely, and it was a mistake for her to keep that date, but I guess "rockme" wouldn't have been happy if she had cancelled it anyway. So the date did not turn out well, but at least Lea was honest about her feelings. As I've said before, honesty is the characteristic that I appreciate the most in a person, so my respect for Lea has actually increased as a result of this thread! I have very little respect for "rockme", whoever he is!
By the way, LJ has commented at least once about my lack of "balls" (she might have been kidding, I hope! Maybe she was comparing mine to hers, lol! Who could compete with that?}, but I've never used an alias on this or any other board.
Wanker! for someone that misrepesented themseleves over the phone and appeared in person not to be the same discrcription was red flag number one! Number two red flag was the arrogant and cocky attitude that progressed to be a complete turn off! number three red flag, you were staying in a suite with all of your "buddies" not a trusting situation. And as far as my personal tragedy, that was discussed with a personal friend at the bar had nothing to do with you! I look at this as a person that can't handle rejection well and this is one example of what ladies in this profession have to deal with. Repercussions of blue balls! I thank you for the support posted by others.
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