Las Vegas
Re: irony...
Well, I had no idea that my irony post, "Day 4, I survived my second date; some important tips for visiting hobbyists" (4/4/2012) would cause such a controversy regarding whose supposed to bring the condoms and lube to a session. As most of you know, all my stories are based on actual events and are embellished for humor, but this time I thought I would tell the story as it actually happened, just to set the record straight.
First I must admit that my last date showed up with her own condoms and lube, even though she knew I had my own supply. She put them on, took them off, and cleaned me up with the traditional warm wet wash cloth; but Monday's date, my inspiration for the post, was a slightly different story.
She showed up for dinner at my place (a timeshare apartment) in a tight turquoise mini-dress, white platform heels and a set of 36 Ds that popped out of the top. We barely got through the salad and first course before she was all over me grabbing at my pants. She excused herself to the bathroom, and when she exited out the bedroom connection she called into the kitchen, "Your turn lover". When I entered, it looked like her luggage had exploded; stockings, shoes, dresses and lingerie were all over the place. I came out of the bathroom to find her stretched out on the couch looking beautiful in a white Teddy, heels and mesh stockings. Throughout the evening, after each orgasm, hers and mine, she changed into a new outfit, each with a different pair shoes; and she changed the condom twice as often. She had this neat little technique where she would slip off the old one, toss it over her shoulder without looking, and apply the new one in a quick one-two maneuver.
Somewhere around midnight we polished off the bottle of wine, and while we both agreed we could have put a serious dent in another, it probably would have cut down on the number of orgasms; and we both felt it was better to err on the side of more orgasms.
Eventually we wound up in the jacuzzi, that she filled with bubble bath and body oil, and started to pound me so hard doing cow girl it began to hurt my back. I finally had to plead with her, "Pleeeease stop, I'm in paaaain." She quickly got out, apologized, made a little walkway of towels on the floor, and helped me hobble over to the bed where she finished off the job that she started in the tub........twice......maybe three times, I don't know, at four in the morning I started loosing count.
When dawn started to break through the curtains, I limped through the apartment, holding onto the walls and furniture to prop myself up, as I surveyed the damage the evening had wrought. It looked like a tornado hit the place. Our clothes were all over, bath towels were thrown about, the linens hung off the side of the bed and laid on the floor, the dishes were scattered and scrapped cleaned, couch cushions were half off, and used condoms and wrappers were e-v-e-y-w-h-e-r-e. They were on floor, hanging over the arms of the couch, mixed in with the bed linens, and two were floating in the jacuzzi.
I made it to the couch where I sat down to close my eyes just for second, before I thought I would begin to repair the damage. When I awoke she was kissing me on the forehead saying, "Ride's here, gotta run." After the door slammed shut, I got up to start cleaning only to find it had already been done. The dishes were in the dishwasher, towels were in a small pile in the bathroom, the couch was back together, the jacuzzi was drained and the bed was made. In fact, the only evidence that she was there was that one of my pint sized lube bottles was running on empty, only eight of my original two dozen condoms remained, and my balls ached from cuming so much.
The lady asked for no reviews, and I will respect that. So to find out who she is you'll just have to send me a PM, and if your references check out, maybe you'll get lucky.
Now if you want to book this this girl with only a crummy three pack of condoms in your nite stand; be - my - guest. But don't blame me, if you "Y, double M, V".
First I must admit that my last date showed up with her own condoms and lube, even though she knew I had my own supply. She put them on, took them off, and cleaned me up with the traditional warm wet wash cloth; but Monday's date, my inspiration for the post, was a slightly different story.
She showed up for dinner at my place (a timeshare apartment) in a tight turquoise mini-dress, white platform heels and a set of 36 Ds that popped out of the top. We barely got through the salad and first course before she was all over me grabbing at my pants. She excused herself to the bathroom, and when she exited out the bedroom connection she called into the kitchen, "Your turn lover". When I entered, it looked like her luggage had exploded; stockings, shoes, dresses and lingerie were all over the place. I came out of the bathroom to find her stretched out on the couch looking beautiful in a white Teddy, heels and mesh stockings. Throughout the evening, after each orgasm, hers and mine, she changed into a new outfit, each with a different pair shoes; and she changed the condom twice as often. She had this neat little technique where she would slip off the old one, toss it over her shoulder without looking, and apply the new one in a quick one-two maneuver.
Somewhere around midnight we polished off the bottle of wine, and while we both agreed we could have put a serious dent in another, it probably would have cut down on the number of orgasms; and we both felt it was better to err on the side of more orgasms.
Eventually we wound up in the jacuzzi, that she filled with bubble bath and body oil, and started to pound me so hard doing cow girl it began to hurt my back. I finally had to plead with her, "Pleeeease stop, I'm in paaaain." She quickly got out, apologized, made a little walkway of towels on the floor, and helped me hobble over to the bed where she finished off the job that she started in the tub........twice......maybe three times, I don't know, at four in the morning I started loosing count.
When dawn started to break through the curtains, I limped through the apartment, holding onto the walls and furniture to prop myself up, as I surveyed the damage the evening had wrought. It looked like a tornado hit the place. Our clothes were all over, bath towels were thrown about, the linens hung off the side of the bed and laid on the floor, the dishes were scattered and scrapped cleaned, couch cushions were half off, and used condoms and wrappers were e-v-e-y-w-h-e-r-e. They were on floor, hanging over the arms of the couch, mixed in with the bed linens, and two were floating in the jacuzzi.
I made it to the couch where I sat down to close my eyes just for second, before I thought I would begin to repair the damage. When I awoke she was kissing me on the forehead saying, "Ride's here, gotta run." After the door slammed shut, I got up to start cleaning only to find it had already been done. The dishes were in the dishwasher, towels were in a small pile in the bathroom, the couch was back together, the jacuzzi was drained and the bed was made. In fact, the only evidence that she was there was that one of my pint sized lube bottles was running on empty, only eight of my original two dozen condoms remained, and my balls ached from cuming so much.
The lady asked for no reviews, and I will respect that. So to find out who she is you'll just have to send me a PM, and if your references check out, maybe you'll get lucky.
Now if you want to book this this girl with only a crummy three pack of condoms in your nite stand; be - my - guest. But don't blame me, if you "Y, double M, V".
I'm actually looking for a maid service. She sounds great! Plus side benefits!! (
)
Just kidding, just kidding.
Sounds like a genuine sweetheart!
nitecaller
posted
6 / 10