So my ATF whom I have seen more than a year wont give me BBFS, while I know she does that with other guys.  She says that she wants to keep seeing me and does not want me to get into trouble with my SO, since I still have sex with my SO.  I appreciate her concern, but sometimes I just want to say fuck it and just do it.

Your thoughts...

She’s right! Never do BBFS if you have an SO and have uncovered sex.  I know it’s tempting to say fuck it, but it’s just not worth the risk.  

ATF is just looking out for you and also herself.  If you bring an STD home to your SO, she thinks you will blame her and never see her again, and she’s probably right!  

If she won't give you bbfs, I hope you're not trying to do it against her will. If you want bbfs over everything and if you think she will let u if you break up with your so or something, OK well maybe you want that (although I wouldn't advise). You can also try to beg her for it but idk if that will be effective.

But I do know K-girls, and Asian girls generally -- many Asian cultures for that matter -- simply look for polite ways of saying No without actually saying it.

 
So maybe she just doesn't want to give it to you whereas certain others she wants to. Shrug my shoulders. Certainly up to you on how to proceed but might be a case of pushing it gets you cut off from anything. Seen that happen before. And, not like there are not plenty of options for BB if you want that. Sure you'll be able to find another ATF in very little time if that is your goal.

I agree.  Just thinking with my little head.  No need to take additional risk.  My ATF does want to make this a long term relationship.