Hello, everyone.  I am new to TER and to the hobby, so please be gentle with me.  I also have a unique circumstance that brings with it some challenges for both me and any providers that I see.  Therefore I have some questions that I think can best be answered here in the Florida board.  I have done searches for the terms "wheelchair" and "quadriplegic" with limited success.

I've been debating how much information to provide about myself.  A lot of this is deeply personal to me, but since it's not proper etiquette to discuss specifics with providers regarding certain activities I enjoy, or she might, I guess I will spill the beans here.  So in order to find both the right provider and not spring any surprises on any ladies I might visit, here goes.

Nearly 20 years ago I broke my neck diving into shallow water.  I am a C5 quadriplegic.  For those that are interested, you can do a Google search or peruse YouTube for details about what sort of function and abilities someone such as myself has to work with.  With regard to sensation, motor function, and sex, I have none in the area of Little Jimmy and the twins.  I suspect for some of you the thought of that alone makes you thankful you aren't a quadriplegic.  Frankly, I've got more important things to worry about than that.  

I always pride myself and say to myself that I'm fairly well-adjusted for someone with such a disability.  I'm not antisocial, I'm not a bitter prick to those around me, I've accomplished a great deal of things I'm proud of since my injury, and for the most part I'm happy to still be around.  But the past 6 months or so have been difficult.  The last time I kissed a girl was in January of 1994.  The last time I did other things with a girl was quite some time before that.  I can be watching an old movie (I'm a Turner Classic Movie channel junkie), a chick flick, anything really, and I will bust out in tears at this simple sight of two people enjoying each others company.  So I am beginning to wonder just how well-adjusted I really am.

Some people would say that my self-esteem is in the crapper.  I prefer the word humble.  I've received all sorts of therapy -- physical therapy, occupational therapy, vocational therapy, you name it -- but when it comes to regaining my sexuality, that's been a problem that's been left for me to deal with.  I hear that in many countries it's not illegal for the disabled to visit prostitutes, sex workers, sex surrogates, whatever they call them.  I know in Denmark (and possibly Australia) the government will send one to your home.  After hearing about the movie The Surrogate with Helen Hunt (Synopsis: A man in an iron lung who wishes to lose his virginity contacts a professional sex surrogate with the help of his therapist and priest.) I figured I would look into surrogate therapy.  It turns out surrogates don't work in the state of Florida for the most part, but if I saw a therapist in Florida, and he/she recommended I see one (sex surrogate), I could either fly one in to work with me for a couple of weeks or I could travel to a state where they do work.  That would cost me thousands of dollars.  So to make a long story a bit shorter, I eventually wound up here on TER.

So here I am looking for a provider that is both newbie and wheelchair friendly.  I'd be happy to share a photograph of myself with a provider should she request one.  I'm 41, I have 90 percent of the hair I was born with, and I have all of my teeth.  I have clear skin.  I know what proper hygiene is and I am a consummate gentleman.  I only ask for simple accommodations (no stairs and a fairly open floor plan so I have room to turn around), someone with an open mind, a nonjudgmental attitude, and preferably someone who enjoys DATY.  The latter is about all I think about lately.  My wheelchair does recline and tilt into some pretty interesting configurations, so hopefully I can find one that is comfortable for all involved.  Ideally I could find someone into gymnastics, the game twister, or did not weigh too much.  Spinners you all call them.  I'm willing to work with anyone motivated, however.  

I'm looking for something incall in either Palm Beach or North Broward County.  Fortunately I live close to a couple of incall locations that a local agency uses and they have an excellent selection of possible candidates.  The bad news is I don't know how much room is available at these locations and I don't think I can set up anything well in advance.  I don't see how I can speak with their providers ahead of time to gauge interest in seeing a wheelchair user, either.

Any information or guidance that you all can provide would be appreciated.  I'm quite nervous about my predicament and meeting a provider.  I really can't take much more solitary confinement.  Here are a few questions that come to mind.  I'm sure I will have more.


1.  How many of you providers are open to seeing someone with a disability?

2.  Would any of you providers requiring multiple references be willing to ease up on your requirements with the revelation that I am completely harmless?    I have been screened through P411, too.

3.  I am unable to grasp items very well.  The consideration/donation will be difficult for me to discreetly place somewhere.  Would it be possible to have a provider retrieve an envelope from a backpack on the back of my wheelchair?  I could say something to the effect that I found it outside her door and it might belong to her.  Or maybe some other innocent remark?  I see many providers who accept other ways of making a donation.  I've seen credit cards and PayPal as accepted forms of payment on many websites.

4.  If you have seen a wheelchair user in the course of your work how did it go?


Thank you for reading.