Some may think this post belongs on the M&G board, but, I posted it here because it primarily concerns Florida hobbyists and ladies.

After the recent Tampa Soiree', I started to think about some options concerning how the party is organized and I wanted feedback from those who have attended, and those who chose not to, for whatever reason.
Don't get me wrong, we had a good turnout, but we were missing quite a few and if there were "issues" keeping people away, I want to know about them.

1. Is the current "setup" acceptable for you? What changes in the way it is setup would you like to see?
2. Is the "cover charge" for the gentlemen ok, too much, not enough? Would you be willing to pay a lesser "cover" and have a cash bar, or continue to pay the current "cover" for an open bar?
3. Was the location, food choices, and atmosphere acceptable or what changes would you like to see?
4. The option of having the ladies contribute is NOT on the table, so don't go there.
5. Changes to the screening requirements will NOT be made so that's off the table.

These questions are directed at those who did attend and those who didn't, but would have liked to.

I don't need to have replies on the board, please PM me or email "[email protected]" with any comments.
All comments, positive or negative, are welcome.
I just want to make sure the Tampa Soiree' the best it can be for EVERYONE.

Thank you for your support of the Tampa Soiree'.

Bob, first of all, thank you for all the hard work you did to put this together. I had an enjoyable time meeting some old friends and getting to meet some new ones. We all appreciate it. I'll give you my input for what it's worth.

1. The set up was fine. A great job.

2. The cover charge was okay but I would prefer a cash bar with a lower cover the next time. My drink of choice, scotch, was not available with this open bar which I found to be very strange. I would rather see a cash bar with a full liqueur assortment to choose from. I'm more then happy to buy a woman her drink of her choice without the open bar.

3. The location was great. Very convenient for the locals as well as those from us from out of town.

There is however one big complaint that I have and it is not related to how the Soriee' was run or anything that you have much control over. My complaint is this. Almost 1/3 of the ladies that confirmed as a 'Yes" to attend the event never showed up. I may take some heat for this comment but in my opinion this is totally inexcusable. I know that things come up and changes happen at the last minute but, for this this to be the case for 1/3rd of the ladies that responded that they were going to attend and never showed seems a bit on the high side to me.

A lot of us make the decision to attend or not to attend the event are based on the others that we see are going to to be there. To the ladies that responded "yes" and did attend, thank you for coming out and it was a pleasure to see you. To the ladies that responded "yes" to the invite and did not show up, shame on you.

I know I may offend some the well known and well respected ladies here, and there were a lot of you who responded "yes" to the invite and did show but......if you responded "yes" and you didn't show, you lost a lot of respect in my eyes. You have disrespected Bob, and the others here that attended the event and should you be ashamed of your disrespect to Bob and the members of the board. . I hope that your are removed from the invite list for the next Soriee.

Bob, my suggestion to you would be that it a lady says she is going to attend by replying yes and does not show up twice in a row, she should not be invited to the next event no matter what her status is on the board. The same would apply to the men that committed to attend and did not show.

To the ladies that attend, it was a pleasure to talk to you all and maybe get to get you a bit better in the future.

I had a great time at the M&G . I had the chance to catch up with some people whom I had met before and met a few ladies that I may meet down the road if I'm in town.  

Hope to see you all at the next one!!!

Every aspect of the party was perfection.
The location, room size, food type and amount....all spot on.

I'll disagree with 2cups on the bar type. I can see how he feels as his drink of choice wasn't available, but an open bar for that cover charge is a very good deal.

I will, however, agree with him completely on the thoughts regarding those who were NCNS.
Having hosted a few M&Gs myself, I know how difficult and time-consuming they can be. It is an almost thankless task that is done for no reason other than to provide others the opportunity to have a good time.
In this case, Bob gave ample opportunity and several reminders for people to state their intentions. Of course there is always a percentage of people who are on a list and don't attend....it's a given....but in this case the percentage was higher than normal.
Women are the first ones to raise hell about no-shows for an appointment. We've all seen a lifetime worth of posts where they state their case about what their time is worth and how it inconveniences them. That's all well and good....but it's interesting how they slip into the shadows and are silent when they do the same thing. Apparently it's a case of "do as I say, and not as I do".
I'm sorry to burst anyone's bubble....but women aren't divas, regardless of what they may think. Our time is equally valuable. To commit to a party and not even have the decency to change your status of attending....with SO many opportunities to do so...and when it is SO easy as to just click on a box....is inexcusable.
They should be ashamed....but probably aren't.

Maybe anyone who hosts a party in the future will take this into consideration and make attendance more of a privilege and not a right.

Just sayin'
DD

This post was not meant, nor will it be, a bash provider thread.

It was to ask what, if any, changes people want to see in the Tampa Soiree'.

We all know, and I am a firm believer, that life and family come first.
It's just a freekin party, after all, not life and death.

However, there are concerns that many, ladies and gentlemen, replied YES and then didn't show up.
Voicing an opinion or comment about people who didn't show up is a valid point and needs to be voiced.
Some were last minute cancels and I was notified that they were not going to make it.

The guest list is my problem and I will deal with that issue.

I know that many guys came to the party to meet certain ladies who said they would come. They were disappointed when they didn't.
There were also ladies there who wanted to meet the gentlemen, and ladies, who were coming, but didn't.

I am very appreciative of the ladies and gentlemen who travel long distances to come to the party. And I know that it can be difficult to make a 3 or 4 hour trip when "life and family" happen.
I will never hold that against anyone.

To be honest, when a lady says YES, then doesn't show up, all we are out is her company and presence.
When a gentleman says YES and doesn't show up, we lose his budgeted revenue and someone else, guess who, has to cover that lost revenue.

These parties are budgeted very tightly, so that we break even and all expenses are covered.
In the last 6 Soiree's, only 2 have broken even. The rest have had a negative balance that needed to be covered, due, primarily, to the gentlemen who did not show up.
This is part of the reason the "cover" is as high as it is. To have that breathing room when 15% of the gentlemen don't show. It's built into the party budget.

No complaints, no bitching, just stating a fact.
As Host, these are some of the issues and problems I accept for putting the party on.

People who have never attended a Soiree', or shown any interest in attending, who bash and attack others for stating a requested opinion, I don't have time for and am not interested in.

The Tampa Soiree' will go on. With your help and support, it will only get better.

So, children, let's chill out and play nice!

I thank you for the open and honest comments. That's what is needed to grow and get better.

...where do I begin.

First, let me say that I was not able to make this Soiree. I originally planned to and replied accordingly. However, my plans for Vegas & LA changed and I was not be back in time to attend. I immediately changed my response at least a few days ahead of time indicating that I would not be able to attend. I have however attended two prior Tampa Soiree's and based upon past experiences, there is nothing I would change. The venue was perfect, the people were great, and the food was a good selection. Perhaps music or lighting would be a minor change to set a more party like atmosphere, but with a room full of wonderful people, hell, the party creates itself.

Second, I have been attending Meet & Greets for almost 10 ten years across the US. I attended some of the original ones in NYC hosted by Miki the Milf. From Boston, to Vegas, to LA, to Fort Lauderdale, I have tried to attend as many as possible. Each party has it's own character. Some are private, being held in homes/private suites while some are more "public" held in back rooms of bars. Was there room for improvement for each one? Sure... nothing is ever perfect. But, as I said earlier, each Meet & Greet has it's own vibe based upon the chemistry of the people.

Third, as an organizer of South Florida Meet & Greets, I understand that it is a difficult task. Attendance is the major issue. People don't realize that is if someone says they are coming, it is important to come. If you can't, change your reply or let someone know. All of the food, alcohol, and most importantly, people coming to "Meet & Greet" you are relying upon the guest list. I understand if 1 or 2 people do not show, life happens, but when 1/3 to 1/2 of the guest list is NCNS, nothing is worse.

Regarding your questions about cover, I feel that is not an issue. Anywhere from $30 - $120 is adequate to cover expenses, allow gentlemen the venue to socialize with lovely ladies, and well frankly, just about what anyone would pay for a night out anyhow if not less. I recently attended a mixer where there was no food, not even a free drink coupon as you most graciously do, Bob, and a cover charge. You had to start your own tab to eat & drink. So, your way is fine in my humble opinion.

With the recent popularity of many meet & greets all over the country, I think that it is important to stick with what has been working best for you. Keep in mind, that many people travel to these. It seems that they are held around the same time and it is hard for travelling people to attend all of them. For example, there was a Vegas M&G last week, a NY M&G a few days later, the Tampa M&G, and the DC & CT ones are coming up. Plus, Florida in the summer is slow.  Even in NY, attendance at the Summer M&Gs was always down.

The hosts of a recent Meet & Greet had an interesting stipulation - if you replied that you would attend, and in fact did not, you would not be permitted to another one of their M&Gs. Perhaps a disclaimer like would help.

As I said earlier, apart from maybe some music and different lighting, your parties are awesome! The last one I attended a year or so ago was great! The food, the perfect number of people, even the cash bar was okay. When hosting the South Florida M&Gs, I ask everyone to tell me what they eat and drink. This way I make sure everyone is covered. Trust me, I know you do alot of planning and organizing and sometimes it is a thankless job despite everyone's "thank you's" on the board. The joy and success is seeing the men and ladies socializing or hearing that a gentleman met one of the nicest ladies at your soiree, etc. Then you know, it was a job well done.

Finally, for what it's worth, I did talk to 3 people who attended your soiree and said that they had a nice time. They met a few new people and it was a fun evening. What else can you ask for....

Keep up the good work and I will try to make #7. Now, go enjoy the weekend, you deserve it!

I'm just sorry I had to change my response to no at the last minute.
Life takes a turn and sometimes my plans don't go as expected.
I hope I get a chance to attend future parties.

Keep up the great job!

Gabby xox

I know sometimes you must feel under appreciated.
It's something we all have to deal with at times.
I find maintaining a good sense of humor works best for me.
All the best.

wft

I greatly appreciate your gatherings and feel honored to have been invited to the last two. What I am about to say I hope is understood that no disrespect is intended. I have 3 suggestions. The first would be seating. Although more chairs were brought into the room, in the beginning there wasn't enough seating. I'm not sure about other ladies, but those cute shoes aren't always comfortable. So more seating would be appreciated. The second suggestion is I would agree with some sort of entertainment. It would help drown out some of the conversations from folks passing in the hall and from others in the room. It would also give those of us who don't know too many people something to do (which will bring me to another point in a minute). My third suggestion would be the food choices. Perhaps offer something a little "simpler" for those folks who have food allergies or specific dislikes, i.e. meat and cheese trays or something simple like that.

My only other comment has nothing to do with the event itself or the organizer. I kind of feel like a fish out of water since I don't really know the group and they don't know me. But I almost have to force people to talk to me. Aside from a few, not too many people were friendly towards me at all and I really felt out of place. I tried to mingle and socialize, but once everybody got into their little "groups" and started reminiscing I felt as if I didn't belong and wound up leaving early-both times. Some of the folks just looked at me like who are you and what are you doing here. Not so much as a hello I'm so and so. I introduced myself a few times but didn't want to seem "pushy" if that makes sense. I just didn't feel very welcomed to either event and that has nothing to do with you Bobb, you are always very nice to me and welcome me with open arms and for that I thank you. And the person who was passing out their business cards trying to garner new business in their real world job at the event I felt was unacceptable and should not be allowed. I guess that makes 4 suggestions huh? LOL

With all due respect,

Meg

I have always enjoyed the Tampa M&G that Bob has worked tirelessly to put together. I have not even looked at this board since about March or so, and it was because of the people that I met at the M&G and talking to them that I have decided to come back to the board.

As far as answering Bob's questions, let me say this:
I am fine with the location, the cover charge and the screening process. I can understand the concerns that have been stated about possibly doing a cash bar- if I remember correctly, there was a cash bar a couple of years ago for the guys and the ladies had open bar. That might be an option to revisit.

As far as the no-shows go, life happens. Yes, it was a little disappointing that some of the ladies that I wanted to meet were unable to be there but I can't hold anything against them- who knows what the reasons were for not being able to be there? And, it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things because if there is someone I want to see, whether she was at the M&G or not will not affect my opinion of her. A no-show at a M&G is not the same thing as a no call no show for an appointment.

Again, to Bob- thank you for all of your hard work. I trult appreciate the work you do, and I will look forward to attending the next Tampa event.

I truly wish I could have made it but unfortunately it was not meant to be (As a side note... I did change my rspv and emailed Bob to let him know too..)

One day I will finally make it.. but I just want to assure you Bob that its purely a scheduling issue that I had to cancel. I'm really looking forward to it actually..

-- Modified on 9/23/2012 5:59:34 PM

It was my first time to this kind of event and I had a good time.
I think some music and  more chairs and tables could have helped a little more. The cover with open bar was reasonable.

I'm in agreement with DD, Bobb & Sexy Toni

I agree with DD that the gentleman who make the time to attend M&G's is as valuable (if not more in some cases) as a providers. I also agree that people should be more mindful of changing their replies prior to the event.

I agree with Bobb about lost of expected revenue when gentleman who rsvp and but end up not attending. The negative balance comes out of the coordinator's pocket and often the few dollars that are offered to co-assist an event are not possible. Before people freak out the $$ earned is more like a stipend and there are MANY hours put into inviting, screening and dealing one on one with everyone's individual concerns.  I also agree with Bobb about the disappointment level of individuals who attend the meet and greets looking forward to meeting someone in particular only to have them not show. It's deflating and it takes energy away from the mixer (boo!).

I agree with Sexy Toni about the timing of Meet & Greets and having so many across the country booked back to back. Further - it's difficult to attend out of town events when an event is coordinated with less than 4 weeks for a traveling provider to plan for it. I also agree with Toni about a "failure to attend after you've rsvp'd" disclaimer and that providers who stand the party up without notice not be allowed to attend the next one and gentleman who no-show only be allowed to attend the following meet and greet if they pay the regular party fee PLUS no-show fee. If they don't want to pay the additional fee they aren't allowed to attend either.

Getting back to Bobb's original post and questions I think that hosting the event in an actual bar or restaurant would fuel more energy into the party. The regular noise of the establishment gives a nice background hum for everyone. In NYC we would rent a room right off the bar that was open only to  guests. Regular customers ponied up at the regular bar and would watch with fascination the in and out flux of people to our parties. Also - if you need a little break from chatting it up with everyone it's easy to sneak off for a little break at the other bar or outside.

I think the cover is fine. It's been the board (and meet and greet) standard for a long time so no need to change what isn't broken.

Hope this helps!!
xo LL

First off, I want to thank Bob for a wonderful party. I love going to these parties and meeting people. The only couple things I can suggest is to have music and maybe play some games to get people involved. I could help with that next time if you'd like.  It was a blast I just wish I could have stayed longer. Thank you Bob and for all the wonderful people I met. XXOO, Mermaid Jade

You have given much in time and money through the years to make the Tampa parties welcome to all including many newbies. Your cover is affordable and I have no complaints at all about atmosphere or food. I like the cocktail party because it is an easy low key way to mingle.  I'm sorry I missed this party but will be at the next one.

Thanks again for the many Tampa parties I have attended with you as the host. You are  top on my list for nicest TER gentleman.

Kisses Haley

First, let me say, "thank you, Bob and everyone else who came." It was a pleasure meeting each and everyone of you.
Hotlips, i'm sorry you felt that way. I didn't know a single soul there either, but was glad to meet you and would have loved to hang and chat with you more.
Next time would collecting payment in advance via paypal be an option? Tix $100 in advance and $150 at door? (for example)
The party was GREAT and you really out did yourself, Bob!
Thanks again,
Jessica

Bobb again Thank-you for all of your efforts! My second year in a row attending
and your efforts are much appreciated. It was great to see old friends and make new ones as well.
I like Laney and Jade's comments and Jessica's ideas as well. I hope Ladies continue to come and the food and drinks were perfect. So how do you get more Ladies to show up? So how do you get more guys to show up? There are of course several reasons to attend, one benefit is to meet Ladies in advance which is well worth a door fee etc. For the Ladies of course several reason to attend including meeting new clients. Some thoughts.. what if Ladies gave out a business card that entitled only attendees some sort of incentive to book within  say 30 days ie. Or Ladies could sell raffle tickets for a future date and a drawing could be held at the end to encourage attendees to stay longer.  Or a "dinner date" auction with a minimum bid of course, and maybe anything over the minimum is split with the Lady and a Soire fund. Jade's game idea is fun also, themes are fun, a casino night is fun as well tables/dealers can be arranged. Having said this I agree with a non refundable deposit how it is implemented I am not sure but if a list of prepaid attendees is posted this might attract more Ladies. Hope this helps. tampaborneo