I am a long-time hobbyist who has had both one-and-done experiences with escorts as well as frequent encounters with a few ATFs....

Somehow, I've always been able to separate my activities with an escort from my marriage. I'm not sure if I've been justifying it, or trying to explain it to myself or what, but I've always felt like my time with the escort was "me time" -- something like "therapy with sex" and helped me get some of the things lacking at home -- sex (often, oral, anal or something other than 10 minutes of foreplay and 15 minutes of missionary).

While I might have pangs of guilt, I never felt like I was "cheating"

But wait....

Separate from my activities in the hobby, I have an account on AdultFriendFinder.com, and had previously befriended a woman who I have affectionately referred to as "AFF Girl". She and her husband have experimented with threesomes, and she has been on a few dates with other men that she has fucked.

She and I have often discussed having sex.  But have never done so.

We met up yesterday -- she needed some free legal advice on an unrelated issue -- and we ended up kissing at the end of the meeting.

I like her -- I don't love her -- and want to do more -- the idea of kissing her, touching her, tasting her, fucking her, sharing her with her husband -- all have appeal.

But I have to say, it was definitely a different kiss from those I've shared with escorts.

Not bad. But different.

Just wondering what people think and what experiences others have had.

stick with the escorts.

If you're in the "lifestyle" it's A-OK to have recreational sex with other people. You and your spouse are both on board.

But this sound like a jaunt down a dangerous path. You may not love her now, but sex can do funny things to peoples' emotions.

Presumably, with professionally-responsible escorts, that won't happen. You have your fun, go home and no-one's hurt.

Just my take, as one who's seen all kinds of fishing expeditions go badly wrong.

Can't see how it would be cheating since love and sexual fun are two entirely different things aren't they.  I guess it depends on your perspective doesn't it???

of strong and varied opinions.

Your question has NO clear cut answer. It is up to each individual to decide / justify for themselves.

For me...you bet your ass it's cheating!
Personally I won't, and stopped, hobbying even if I have a girlfriend.

I always like to respond to your question with one of my own....
If your girlfriend or wife came to you and told you she kissed / fucked someone else....
"Is it cheating?"...or would you take it as casually as you approach your own actions?

Everyone has to define some words for themselves.
I know what my definition is.

Just sayin'

....of you fucking other women 'just' for sex, then it is indeed 'cheating". If you told her what you are doing, what would be her reaction? Do you think she would high five you? You know the answer my son, no matter how you compartmentalize it in your mind.  

Now say 5 Hail Mary's, & 10 Our Father's, no more fucking other ladies w/out your wife's permission, offer tithe envelopes (you do that already, kinda) to the church 10% of your income every year and you will be forgiven and can enter the kingdom of god upon your death w/blue balls.

What would your wife say?

Do you think she would have a difinitive answer to this question or would she need to think about it for a couple of days and get back to you?

In fact, why don't you ask her?  (Been nice knowing you; LOL)

I know it's cheating.

I'm not making excuses for it.

I'm just explaining it.

There are times that I honestly need an emotional and physical outlet that an escort provides that I am not getting at home (and I'm not divorcing my wife or leaving my kids).

I'm just saying, that as Tabu said, there is a line of demarcation with an escort.

In that way, it feels different.

Thanks to all for their comments.

Dangerous path dude.  Affairs are much more difficult to keep private than hobbying activities.  Remember, we pay escorts to leave after the time is up.  Might be big trouble eventally breaking up with the affair, ie. blackmail/hush money and more.

In my opinion, very few (if any) wives would see any difference between the two actions.

THANK God, or whatever u believe in, that I am single. No lyin' or cheatin' here. My family knows that I date differently...lol, and my few close male friends know. For me sneaking, cheating and lying is way stressful so I personally avoid situations that require that.

Whatever floats your boat. Something like whoever casts the first stone should be sin free. Not possible. No judgement here but to me lying and the lack of trust is a bigger issue.

xoxo

NSA = NGA (no guilt attached)

To my mind......either one is cheating - no two ways about it; but we all are responsible for our own justifications in the end. Just be prepared to deal with the consequences should your wife ever find out and not share your viewpoint such that it is.

I remember a time when I was younger that this particular question used to be one of those hand grenades that some joker would often throw out at parties.  I suspect that it was a particularly sensitive subject since most of the guys I hung out with back then spent as much time on the road as I normally do.

No real surprise in the typical answers...almost unanimously the wives said in no uncertain terms that it was definitely cheating.  Husbands on the other hand almost universally said that they didn't think so, but they knew that their wives did.

I don't have any moral answers on this subject (or any others for that matter), but I do have a cautionary note...it isn't so much a question of how you may personally view the question of dating an escort as it is whether or not you understand that there may well be consequences from someone who views it differently...

you deserve a woman from AFF

Everyone answers these questions based on their own set of values...as they should.  Everyones actions are based on their own values.  However..to judge someone elses' actions based on your values leads to an invalid conclusion.
I see it as cheating if you go back to your SO and continue to have any type of relationship as if nothing happened.  If you are engaged in a relationship where that SO has now totally shut down all emotional ties, and knows economically
it is impossible for any escape...you no longer have a relationship...you have a host/parasite situation, a bad room mate.  In this case I don't see it as cheating, as there is only a piece of paper and a wad of money keeping you in the same house!  In short form...the bitch knows exactly what I do and does not give a shit as long as she has money, and I don't bother her for any sex!

VERY expensive date....VERY bad review to follow! LOL

....still keep the tithe envelopes coming in the Sunday baskets!

I gotta hobby, too

When you were married at the alter, you made commitment better or for worse and sickness and in health?? Well until you are divorced and your legaly togther with you wife, your cheating. Unless she agrees to you hobby time.