Is there any etiquette when asking a provider to be/give a reference? I find myself needing 2 and I don't have anything set up AND don't want to piss off my short list. Poor planning on my part. Any do's and do not's would be helpful. Thanks, L

Most of us prefer to get requests for references via email, a nice short note to the provider giving her the heads up regarding your future plans should suffice, but it is always good to read her website or ask her via email how she prefers to handle those requests. Sometimes I even get the name of the tentative provider so I am expecting to hear from the lady at some point.

you have seen her in the last 2-3 months.  Longer than that, she might not remember you.  I have seen numerous posts from providers indicating that unless you have seen her recently, don't ask for a reference.

If you contact the lady, remind her who you are, in case she has forgotten.  And ask "Do you mind if I give your name as a reference?"  Most will be honored that you asked.

Sometimes, for people who are on the run and don't always have a firm plan it might be a good idea to ask two ladies that you're friendly to act as an "on call" reference for you. I've had gentleman ask me in the past if they can use me as a reference for any upcoming rendezvous' they set up knowing I'd be able to provide a solid one for them. This way, you're covered on the "ask first" part of things and also covered for "ask later". When choosing your reference ladies choose wisely. You want a lady who's responsive, responsible and respectful of your future date.  

...most providers realize that "you" are not "ours" exclusively and enjoy the company of many ladies. Our safety and security is paramount. Any professional, responsible lady will gladly provide a reference. As mentioned above though, it's always nice to know first that you will be using us as a reference. Just give us a heads up.  

I feel much more comfortable giving a Sailor a reference if he emails me first.  

could be an SO trying to dig up something on them.

...as others noted.  Whenever a guy lets me know that hes provided my name as a reference, it helps because when she contacts me, Im ready to give her the word right away.  Whether or not I get a heads up though, I always look her up to make sure shes a legit provider before I say anything.  

see the problem here

I always ask my friends to come to me prior to using me as a reference, shoot me a quick email. I'm very reference friendly.  If a someone is asking if I've seen you before, I need to know you are the one releasing the right to share information about you.  I will not release your info if I do not get the ok from you first.  

It is posted on my website so there's no question what I require. As a provider,  I check the lady out first before answering her e-mail. Why ? Because each lady has her way of doing things to stay safe but mostly to see that the lady is legit.