This is purely for fun!!  

This question is mainly for the gents, but I'd love to hear ladies' opinions as well! If you are a guy who is not interested in any non-physical aspects of a provider, then this thread is not for you.  

I was just having a conversation with a lover about a certain site's new rating system, and its theoretical pros and cons. I asked him what makes him choose to see a lady. He pointed out that it's not something tangible, rather, it is personality-based. Of course he finds ladies who are physically attractive to him, but as he prefers dinner engagements, he says he looks for much more than that. He's not on TER, but we discussed search processes, and he mainly likes to read what women say about themselves- he says he gets a lot of information about someone just by reading her website. Mainly, he can tell if she expresses herself well, how confident she seems, etc. He couldn't really put it all into a formula, but he said that there are things about her online persona that tip him in one direction or another.  

That got me thinking about the search function here at TER. It is purely physically based, and at first thought, one would think that might clearly be the only logical set of data by which to "categorize" someone. But f you think about the ways other types of experiences are reviewed and rated, it destroys the notion that it must be physically-based characteristics. Even thoughts and opinions on physical characteristics are subjective.

I've had so many guys tell me that the qualities they look for in a companion go way beyond the physical aspects of her appearance and even beyond the proverbial "menu". My lover said that any search function based on those criteria would barely get him half-way there, and as such he doesn't find such things useful or helpful. And while the attitude and performance parts of reviews let you get a glimpse of the intangible aspects of a tryst, they are not searchable.

We brainstormed for a few minutes about this, and came up with some choices that might be helpful for him and perhaps others. Things like being good with extended engagements (I.e., good for dinner? Good for overnight? Good for weekend? Etc.), is engaging and interesting (and interested) in conversation, likes to snuggle or prefers not to, is chatty or is not, takes the lead or lets you take the lead, is playful, serious, sensual, silly, affectionate, distant, mechanical, passionate, etc. Like maybe having a field where you could choose from a set of adjectives to describe the companion.

If you could create some new search fields for non-physical qualities of a potential new friend, what would they be?

 


-- Modified on 1/11/2015 1:14:52 AM

One of my most favorite quotes by famous people is the one by Henry David Thoreau: "The true harvest of life is intangible, a little star dust caught, a glimpse of a rainbow I have clutched"....... There are many deep and inspiring quotes if one does a search on intangibles. Truly every word and moment one spends with another can contribute to what you are referring to. I feel there is a 6th sense about us all that combines so many observations and subconscious body-language into each encounter and adventure. It can be a chore to bring this kind of information to the surface because it is so often crowded out by the conflicts of everyday life. I assure you it is there for me especially on a melancholy Sunday morning.......what a great topic to meditate on over my coffee

What a pleasant surprise!! Thank you for your beautifully introspective post.  

I love that quote! Thank you for posting it. I hadn't read that before. But I don't think I've ever read a quote by Thoreau I didn't like. I wish I had the headspace to read Walden. Last time I tried I was 24. I should try again. Thanks again for bringing me back there.

Can that harvest be codified? Would it be helpful? Or would it be like analyzing a rainbow?

-- Modified on 1/11/2015 1:50:36 PM

add any new fields to the data base, I would include fields for Extended Date (Y/N) with sub-categories for Dinner Date, Overnight, and Multiple Days--all with Y/N options.

As the search function currently exists, if a hobbyist were to use "8" for performance and ad any other fields he desires (perhaps age, height, body type, etc.) and then READ the juicy details in the reviews that are filtered his way, he will get the desired information.  He might also need to PM a reviewer or two to get additional intel.

Once I get through the physical aspects of my selection process my screening gets very subjective, i.e. I look for that warm fuzzy feeling about a gal.  If she does not write her emails in a light, friendly manner she gets crossed off the list.  If she will not talk on the phone at least once with me before meeting she gets crossed off the list.  Anything that indicates that she is impersonal or "cold" and she gets crossed off the list.  I have to know that I can carry on a friendly, intelligent conversation with her before we get on to "other things".  I don't know how effective my suggested question would be as every guy is a little different in his interpretation plus some folks just "don't hit it off well" when another would.

Good suggestion on the extended engagements field! That right there might answer a lot, as generally speaking one can surmise quite a lot about the ladies who are good with that. But then you'd have to read the details to see if she's indeed good with those. Lots of ladies offer extended engagements but have very little patience for spending longer periods with guys, so aren't interested in booking them often.

Yes, a lot could be gleaned from reading the reviews, but it might be nice to have some kind of easier way to narrow down a list that didn't require choosing fields based on physical characteristics. If a guy doesn't have a preference of hair color, body type, menu items, age, or ethnicity, for instance, he's going to have a gazillion reviews to sift through...

I think your question would be as effective as a number score for looks. That's all down to interpretation too. I like it! Thanks!

artistry of touch. II wonder if any gents can articulate what differentiates one kind of touch from others. i don't mean sensual versus non-sensual--I mean the well-timed, sparkly, electric touch on the arm, versus just the regular touch on the arm...

I would like Personal Hygiene as an option with rating on a scale of 1 - 10.   It is extremely important and can make or break a date.    From mouth & teeth down to the Y and clean shaven legs.     Like what good is a 'Kate Upton' look alike with bad breath?

Good point, bud! Thanks for answering.

Sarah, I forgot to mention it goes both ways.    Whatever we expect of the ladies, we should practice the same.   I am sure ladies have the right to refuse someone with very poor personal hygiene.