You know you're a Working Girl when...........Funny

You know you’re a working girl when...

You go for an aromatherapy massage and you have to keep yourself from running out your repertoire of sex noises when touched.

You also have to remind yourself to stop waiting for the happy ending

Your day starts whenever you want it to

All of the towels in your house are folded or hung in a particular pattern like that of your workplace.

Receiving oral sex seems like a good opportunity to total up your week's incomings and outgoings.

You don't do anything that migh cause a scar or injury that will take more than a day to recover from

You pay for everything in cash which is kept in unmarked, unsealed envelopes.

You have an account with a bulk buy condom website.

Your new boyfriend goes from feeling like the luckiest fuck in the world to getting performance anxiety after your first night together...... It's the reverse cowgirl that hooked him but the cappuccino that scared him.

You always smell of baby wipes.

Every guy you meet, you swear is a hobbyist or he just doesn't know it yet.

You can't fuck a guy without doing the routine, kiss, Bj, R.o (reverse oral), sex.

Your mates all run their new boyfriends past you to see if they're a punter, sometimes asking you if they look like they may have 'punter tendencies.'

Someone smiles at you in the street and you know it's probably because they've seen you naked.

You are surprised to learn that the terms 'facial' and 'r.o.' are acronyms for things other than sex acts.

You are better than any new mother at seeking out the cheapest baby oil, talc, and wet wipes.

When you make a new friend you are never sure if they are really your friend or want to be pals with the hooker for the novelty value/ because you might buy all the drinks on a night out.

You CAN buy that expensive pair of Jimmy Choos.

...And be wearing them for work two weeks later when the pain they cause your feet is so great you can only keep them on for about the length of time it takes to cross the bedroom.

You’re the girl that left school doing a different sort of A levels.

Your underwear drawer isn't a drawer...its a wardrobe.

Every handbag has condoms in them.

Hotels aren't for holidays.

Your escort name is in your head so much you always have to think before introducing yourself.

Friends ask advice around first dates and you always say fuck them.

Waxing your bikini linewaxed no longer hurts.

When you're on a date and some random person walks over and asks if you're a hooker (That actually happened to the lady who posted it!)

You take numbers off your age and add them to your bust measurement... Just kidding.

People give you some VERY funny looks when you grab a bra in Victoria's Secret and cry out "This will be SO good for work".

You call everyone "babe" because you don't remember their name. Fuck it, they're all called Steve or Dave anyway.

You buy brightly colored condoms to use on knobhead hobbyists, to piss them off cause it makes the dick look funny as fuck and gives you a laugh at their willy.

You double-take when you see 'ono' on adverts.

Your boyfriend is/used to be a punter, and you know this.

Your boyfriend has a lower sex drive than you.

You play 'spot the hobbyist' whilst shopping.

You get a bit nervous about meeting your aunties/friends/cousins new boyfriends!

You associate envelopes with money, not mail.

When talking on the phone, your doodle pad becomes covered in cocks.

You ALWAYS get off with at least one person at work every day.

If someone mentions a party you're more likely to think of blowjobs and spit roasts than crap beer and Wham's greatest hits.

You actually know what the average size of a cock is.

On your e-bay account you are selling some of your sexy outfits that you cannot get into any more.