Here is a little ditty one of my fans sent me on myspace....  It will make you chuckle..xoxo

helpful hints
Body:
SNAP JUDGEMENTS ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN

The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden
signs, those tiny giveaway gestures that can tell you so much about a
person.



1. Man won't unlock car door for woman.

-Doesn't engage in oral sex.


2. Man gets in car without opening door for woman.

-No foreplay.


3. Man can't hail a cab.

-Impotent.


4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant.

-Prefers virgins.


5.
nsists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way
there.

-Is a virgin.


6. Insists on going to a romantic, candlelit restaurant.

-Compulsive Don Juan.


7. Insists on going to a homey little cafe.

-Compulsive Don Quixote.


8. Insists on going to a Polynesian bar.

-Compulsive Don Ho.


9. Wants to go to a French restaurant.

-She will swallow.


10. Wants to go to a deli.

-Won't swallow.


11. Uses Sweet n' Low.

-Wears falsies.


12. Takes too long deciding what to order.

-Has trouble reaching orgasm.


13. Orders salad dressing on the side.

-Will give a hand job, but won't go "all the way.
"

14. Gives explicit orders to the waiter or waitress.

-Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed.


16. Insists on ordering for you.

-Thinks that you had an orgasm when you didn't.


17. Asks for "the usual.
"
-Insists on missionary position only.


18. Asks what the specials are.

-Will want you to use handcuffs.


19. Fills up on bread and crackers.

-Premature ejaculator.


20. Doesn't finish everything on the plate.

-Has already come.


21. Insists on having some of what you ordered.

-Will make you sleep on the wet spot.


22. Changes mind after ordering.

-Will never call you.


23. Changes tables.

-Nymphomaniac.


24. Drinks decaf.

-Fakes orgasm.

(Female)

25. Orders in French.

-Fakes orgasm.

(Male)

26. Sends food back.

-Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, and then try to borrow
money.


27. Asks for detailed descriptions of the desserts.

-Needs you to talk dirty during sex.


28. Orders a dessert involving ladyfingers.

-Wants a hand job.


29. Orders a dessert involving nuts.

-Castrating bitch.


30. Wants to split dessert.

-Is dying to move in with you and rearrange all your closets.


31. Credit card is refused.

-Low sperm count.


32. Undertips waiter.

-Small penis.


33. Undertips parking valet.

-Small penis.


34. Undertips cabby.

-Small penis.


35. Uses a toothpick.

-Is trying to tell you size isn't everything.


36. Has a removable cassette player in car.

Pulls out repeatedly during sex.


37. Has a cellular phone in car.

-Has a penile implant.

I never fake an orgasm.

It would be kinda hard for a fella to fake a o....Unless you have your prostate removed...lol

But, I was hoping you were wondering if it meant I ordered in French or drank decaf.