A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that
she is staying home because she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.
"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today!

That was only funny when Charles Barkely said that.  I think he also invented that term.

whatever..I doubt he invented it..he isn't quite that bright