My wife and I recently caught my teenage son with porno under his mattress......among them some S&M magazines.....didn't think it would be a good idea to send him to his room or spank him..............what to do!!!!?

Consider it normal curiosity, we all went through it. Both of you together explain the difference between lust and love, compatibility, marriage and divorce. Explain the difference between fantasy and the real world (ugly people and BO). Then order him a subscription to Playboy.  He'll wear it off, or at least get some serious blisters trying. If all else fails, introduce him to the preacher's daughter.  By the time he's my age he might be able to meet one on the girls that was in one of his old Playboy issues.  And that will make it all worthwhile, huh, Stevie?

Yah, but it was so subtile that I thought it needed an equally subtile answer to make it halfway funny.

....How'd you get hold of that picture of my Dad and me?