A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. He says:
"Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?"
"Yes, officer... I know I was speeding -- but it is a matter of life or death."
"Oh, really? How's that?"
"There's a naked woman waiting for me at home."
... "I don't see how that is a matter of life or death."
"If I don't get home before ''my wife'' does,
I'm a dead man"

An elderly man gets pulled over for speeding.

Officer: "Do you realize you're speeding?"

"Yes, sir."

"Why were you going so fast?"

"I needed to get there before I forgot where I was going."