A protestant boy was dating a Catholic girl and really wanted to have sex with her. No matter how much he begged and pleaded she always refused his requests.  Finally one night  he promised to marry  her, certain that this would let him have what he so desperately wanted, yet she still said no. In exasperation he asked "Why not" and she replied "Because it's Lent.  He then asked "Well how about when you get it back"?

During the Lenten season the old joke at the Catholic high school I went to was: "Keep it bent for lent". Of course, as super horny teenaged boys that was an impossibility. God, to have some of those erections again!

Two Irishmen are sitting in a small town bar, where Mick bragged to Sean,  
"You know, I had me every woman in this town, except of course, me mother and me sister."

...On their wedding night, he went to sleep on the couch.  She said:  "Why aren't you coming to bed?"

Take a pill, or date a porn star, or both.