Heavenly Meals...


Seymour Schwartz was a good, deeply religious man. When Seymour passed away he was greeted at the Pearly Gates by the Lord Himself.

"Hungry, Seymour?" sayith the Lord.

"I could eat," Seymour replied.

So the good Lord opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of fresh rye bread and they shared it.

While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and fine wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, Seymour was quiet.

The next day the Lord again invited Seymour to join him for a meal, and again the Lord served tuna and rye bread.

Once again looking down, Seymour could see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates. Still Seymour said nothing.

The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened Seymour could contain himself no longer. Meekly, he said: "Lord, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! Forgive me, O Lord, but I just don't understand."

The Lord sighed: "Let's be honest, Seymour, for just two people does it pay to cook?"