I don't know how I always end up with weirdos for my first date. Take the most recent one for example — we were at a fancy restaurant, and everything was going so well. But right before we started eating, she out of the blue asked me to have sex with a short girl. To be exact, she said, 'Bone a petite.' I had to leave.

You just heard her wrong. She was asking for her favorite specialty drink. She said “Bone Apple Tea.” It’s very rare.