A guy out on the golf course takes a high-speed ball right in the crotch.
Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. When he finally gets himself to
the doctor, he says, “How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next
week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way.”

The doc said, “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and
keep it straight. It should be okay next week.” So he took four tongue
depressors and formed a neat little four-sided bandage, and wired it all
together; an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon
night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set
of breasts. This was the first time he saw them. She says, “You’ll be the
first, no one has ever touched these breasts.”

He whips down his pants and says, “Look at this, it’s still in the CRATE!”