Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption
fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish,
collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
"yonder."
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going to
town, be back directly."
_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the
white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
middle of the table.
_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a
neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of
cold potato salad.  If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also
know to add a large banana puddin!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the  difference between "right near" and "a
right far piece."  They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or
20.
_____

Only a Southerner both knows and  understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____

A Southerner  knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.
_____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines ... and when we're "in
line"... we talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.
_____

In the South, y'all is singular .... all y'all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are
in the presence of  a genuine Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea"
and "sweet milk."  Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it --  
we do not like our tea unsweetened.  "Sweet milk" means you don't want
buttermilk.
_____

And a true Southerner knows you  don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"...
and go your own way.
_____

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this
Southern stuff ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes
on Southernness as a second language!
_____

And for those who are not from the South but have lived here for a long
time, all y'all need a sign to hang on yalls front porch that reads "I ain't
from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."