A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:
If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you!

The husband, a typically non-romantic man, replied:
"I am sitting on the toilet. Please advise."

It's been around before and every time I see it, I laugh my ass off. Good post, BP.