Hey everybody -- I'm retiring and... wait. No. Wrong post! This post has nothing to do with retirement. This post has everything to do with the fact that I can now offer incalls.

Wait... what?! Yes, you read that right. Carrie Hillcrest, aka "she who swore she would never have an incall location available so please, please stop asking", can now host for dates.

Ok, now stop right there, because there is a catch. Seriously, BACK AWAY FROM YOUR EMAIL CLIENT and take a deep breath. Let the blood flow back up to your brain and please read the following sentence carefully. Ready? Still breathing? Ok? Ok.

I, Carrie Hillcrest, can now secure accommodations for our date provided that we schedule and I receive a deposit for that date at least one week in advance.

Now go back and read it again. Fellas, I don't want to put this ad up and an hour after it's posted have an inbox full of emails all like, "OMGGGG!!!! i want 2 meet u at ur incall for 30 min 2nite can u do it?" I'm pretty patient but if I get an email like that I will go Incredible Hulk on your ass and neither you nor I want to see that (unless that's your fetish, in which case ... let's talk, baby).

As far as details on deposits, please see the bottom of the "Packages" page on my website. If you have any questions prior to scheduling, please let me know.

So, brief pop quiz to check reading comprehension:

Q. Is Carrie Hillcrest, purveyor of the legendary Nerd Star Experience (NSE), retiring?
A. NO. For the love of Pete, it was a joke!

Q. If I want to have Carrie Hillcrest, constant maker of bad jokes and writer of really long ads, host our date, what do I need to do?
A. Schedule your date AND send her your deposit at least one week in advance. See the "Packages" page on her website and then email her if you have any questions.

Q. Wait, you have a two hour minimum now?
A. That's correct. Someone actually did go look at the "Packages" page! Bonus points for you! (Note: If we've already scheduled and confirmed a shorter date, the new minimum DOES NOT apply to that date. Unless you want it to, of course!)

And to close, here's a picture of me in my undies.

I think I would like you when you're angry.

I wish there were a green "angry" face.

-- Modified on 2/26/2009 8:25:12 PM

ooooohhhh, baby

Do you remember from early Star Trek - an episode of the green-she-devils from some strange planet - if you got with them once you were enslaved by sexual prowess for life, of course not Spocky so he saved the day... LOL

you now who on Sunday my friend and I'm chubbin up already...