I know this is an off topic subject, so you may want to take a pass on reading this, but I had a very strange experience at breakfast this morning, and I need to get this off my chest. I got into an argument with my Rice Krispies. I distinctly heard, "Snap, crackle, fuck you!" I'm not sure which one of them said it, but I heard it and I said "Well, you can all sit right there in the milk until I find out which one of you said it." Mass punishment. The idea is to turn them against one another. Then I realize, stupid me! That's what Rice Krispies do. Sit in the milk. That's their job. Delicate beige blisters of air, floating proudly in the milk. And you can't sink them. They refuse to sink. The Navy ought to use them in life preservers. That's where they're really needed. And do you know how Rice Krispies manage to float for such a long time? By clinging to one another, they buddy up. They gather in little groups of eight, ten, or twelve, it's always an even number. That's because the electromagnetic polarity of the Krispies attracts them to one another. It binds them into pairs, like sub-atomic particles. They form little colonies, and you can't sink them, not even with a spoon. They just come bobbing up over the sides of the spoon, laughing at you and reveling in their buoyancy. they are very hard to sink. That's what the fruit is for. Not for added taste, or nutrition, it's for sinking the Rice Krispies. Believe me, a good sized peach, hurled at the bowl full force from standing on a chair, can take down fifty or sixty of those buggers in one glorious splash. But I had no mercy this morning, I climbed to the upstairs balcony and dropped a watermelon on them. That'll teach them little bastards to sass me at breakfast.