I would like to know from both providers and hobbyists how you feel about the double life aspect.

I, for one, can't wait to get out of this hotel. I enjoy my sexual addiction but I sometimes push it too far I feel.  Feedback please...

Oh, BTW-to emphasize my emotions...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewO5NWQ97sI

Having an aspect to my life that those close to me don't know about has a certain thrill to it. Most who know me would say "...no, that can't be...." That said, the complete need for secrecy can be sad at times. When 2 people get to know each other and like each other it seems a shame that they have to keep the "secret" for security reasons. Does this make sense?

BTW what are you doing in that room ONLY!!!

Wow!

That, and the video that followed demonstrate a great deal of raw emotion. There's such a wide range of emotion in the videos, more than we can do justice to just to posting about about them here.

I look forward to discussing this with you at Kelly's.

Your post hit home as yours truly is wondering about my double life as a hobbyist.  I enjoy sex and have been told by providers that I am a sex addict.  While you are growing old of your hotel room (been there), you also are questioning your own addition like I am.  The magical word is "addict."  Professional counseling may be worth an effort.  I am thinking of taking a break from hobbying to see the effect it will have on my life.  Will I miss it, will I enjoy it more doing it a lesser number of times? Your also are questioning your life as it is.  Perhaps, a change of scenery where you are unknown or undercover for a while.  I don't know your other occupation, but maybe that should be the focus.  You are apparently at a fork in the road in your life and are trying to decide which road to take.  I wish you the best in your decision-making and know which ever road you chose, the one you select will be the right one for you.

Although we might seem to be tough on the outside, we are very much humans.  I would like to speak on the behalf of the rest of the girls, if they don't mind, our hearts are easily hurt.  I, for one, hate to check my reviews and see anything less than an 8 for looks.  My vanity is ruling my life!  Tee-Heee!

Hearts and Licks,
XXX-Giselle

Giselle,

I struggle with it from time to time, but it makes me a more attentive husband and better father to dabble in the hobby once every 2-3 months. With that said if you are free Saturday id love to become your friend and we can talk about this in person.

For me the double life is sometimes a little clock and dagger. I'm not living a total lie but I'm not open about my hobby. A few years back after a session I was sitting in a fast food joint next to the hotel I just left in West Burbs and low and behold one of my off spring popped in and said Dad is that you. WTF busted. What are you doing here. O um, ah O yea just doing some shopping. So another cover up. Shopping isn't my thing and people that know me know better. The average person lies 4 times a day. I would say for me this hobby is a fantasy. Where else could a guy in the sixth decade of life enjoy the company of beautiful young ladies. As a Child we had Santa now as a hobbyist we can be surrounded by you beautiful lovely ladies. Now after jabbering on I am living a Sweet Little Lie.

....a secret life is considered by most as a necessary evil of the hobby, in truth it is
part of the thrill.....the fear of being outed or caught....intensifies the experience.

That video is so intense, no way that
songwriter observed those emotions....he,
or she had to have been there at some point
in their life.

Thanks for sharing that!

I suspect a lot of hobbyists can identify with the addiction and double life aspect your post.  I certainly do.  To some degree, I wonder when (not if) I'll get caught in the hobby, and the thought of it and what it would do to those close to me certainly worries me (and would motivate me to stop), and yet, I keep doing it.  Do I like meeting providers and sharing intimate time with them?  Absolutely.  But, whenever I've thought of quitting the hobby, I feel that pull back to it.  I guess that's the addiction aspect of it.  I've thought about seeing a counselor about it, but how do you explain that to those close around you?

I'm glad you could relate.  I do have another occupation but it is online which gives me PLENTY of freetime to fantasize and get wet mentally beg the phone to ring.  haha.  I don't think it's that bad of an addiction though, at least it's not drugs or that I'm a serial killer with chopped up pieces bodies under body

XXX-Giselle

I agree with Inlikeflynn. The other life adds a little spice to things for me. A little something that is mine and mine alone. I have one friend who sort of knows what I do but we have never discussed it. We thavel together on occassion to ski etc. he just turns a blind eye to my activities I am careful to never put him in a possition to have to lie for me.

Other than that my only confidant is a provider friend of mine. She is a one of a kind woman and a real sweetheart.

In that room I do confess I do a lot of eating, fucking, working out, drinking, reading, and watching (don't laugh) reality t.v. such as For the Love of Ray J and What Not to Wear.  I LOVE Clinton and Stacey Oh, I almost forgot my absolute beloved Criminal Minds.

XXX-Giselle

Well maybe someday you'll let me witness and participate in the fun!!! And I would never laigh at anyone who find Criminal Minds their "...abosulte beloved..."

Cloak and Dagger retard. My keyboard was half drunk when I was typing.

You like YouTube. Here's a catchy tune.

I have decided I no longer want people in my life that I cannot be honest with about what I do. My immediate family knows what I do, as do my closest girlfriends. I am single, so I do not have to worry about being honest with an SO. However, I was completely honest with a guy I dated months ago and he was supportive of me.

If I believe someone would be judgmental of what I do, I simply do not have them in my life. Granted some of the people I assume would judge me might not, but I am not taking any chances. So, I just don't talk to them.

I love being free from lies, so I simply surround myself with those I am CERTAIN will support me in everything I do in life. I love them dearly because I do not have to lie to them. Besides, I am a horrible liar!

Xoxo,
Giamarie

Hardwood - I am so sorry for the delayed response.  Gorgeous song and thank you.

XXX-Giselle