I am a huge fan of DFK. I find it to be the most passionate and erotic interaction between me and my date and I only select women who advertise this, and ensure it is backed up by multiple reviews. My understanding, as well as my expectation, of DFK is a full-blown, extended embrace of the lips with vigorous interaction between the participants tongues. However, I have been with 3 very highly reviewed providers now (overall ratings of 9+) who advertised DFK, yet delivered what I would consider light tongue flicking and very brief touching of the lips. I understand people may feel this is a very intimate act (I certainly do) that they may not want to share with a hobbyist, but then why advertise it and fail to deliver? Or am I all wrong, and DFK Is not what I think it is and describe it to be? In any event, it really put a damper on what were otherwise very memorable interactions, so much so that I did not review the women because my overall impression would have been extremely skewed and biased. I though it might Be simply a case of YMMV, and that these women did not feel comfortable with me for whateverh reason, but there other very personal and extended acts of carnal pleasure spoke otherwise. Also, I have been with many other providers who blew me away with DFK, so I don't think I'm that off-base. Any insight, especially from the women, would certainly be appreciated.

is compromised... (and this may or may not apply to you, dear):

Well said, I always consider all of those!

That said, I had this conversation on the Newbie board not too long ago...

Great points Tabu, and believe me, it hasn't escaped me that it may have more to do with me than the providers. I don't smoke, brush and gargle right before an appointment, and always follow the woman's lead. I do have a mustache though, and while I do keep it trimmed, I've thought that may be the issue. But then, it doesn't seem to bother the other women who engage in great make out sessions. Like I said earlier, maybe it's just a case of YMMV.

Thanks BCG, some very interesting comments and observations on that thread. I didn't understand the reference London made to ken over 40? Is there a noticeable difference between the way older men kiss than younger men?

To me dfk involves the intensity of the kiss rather than the depth of the tongue in your partner's mouth. It's the total package of the tight embrace of our bodies, the feeling of our mouths pressing together, and the dancing of our tongues that does it for me.

Guys that are overly obsessive on DFK should be trying match.com or E-Harmony.  Ladies fear that these guys may not be able to distinguish fantasy from reality.

Keep searching! I'm sure you'll find someone who will put her tongue down your throat. LBS!

Not sure what LBS means, and never mentioned sticking tongues down one another's throats!  Just trying ton der stand why a provider would advertise DFK and then offer something I could get from my Aunt Agatha?

Good point CTP, and I understand that kissing is a pretty intimate expression. I imagine that's why you don't see a lot of it in porn. I also get the reality vs fantasy argument. But during those 2 or 3 hours that I spend with a provider I'm indulging in the entire fantasy. That's why I pay to participate in the hobby. Once I walk out the door I don't have any false illusions. And when the provider advertises and entices clients with promises of connections and genuine GFE, I don't think the match.com or E-harmony comparisons are appropriate. If you advertise that you are going to create a certain fantasy, and promise that certain activities will be a part of it, I don't see how you can later complain when the hobbyist buys into the message and expects the benefit of the bargain. Like you said, different strokes for different folks.

LBS = laughing but serious.  

I'll have to remember that. And like I said, I have been with some ladies where the DFK was awesome and significantly enhanced the entire experience.

My only take on this conversation is.....

First of all, a big +1 to tabu.  

Lol, I was just talking about this tropic with my friends.

...and while DFK is definitely part of GFE, the emphasis should be on the overall experience and chemistry created.  Also, my definition of DFK may be very different from yours.  DFK isn't just about tongues flitting about.  It's about sensuality, bodies and mouths embracing, and the chemistry we have together.

Honestly? Yeah, I've noticed it too. The older guys tend to be a lot more aggressive in their kissing technique. I'm not entirely sure why.  

I never really made that connection. My personal beef with DFK is that most guys who emphasize it are really just emphasizing sticking their entire tongues in our mouths. There may be some ladies who are into that particular technique, but it makes my labia shrivel.  

Ugh darn acronyms ....... But kissing is very important!!! Especially when it's PASSIONATE!!!

Not a big fan of the DFK. As soon as I walk in the door some providers start with that and it feels sort of fake to me. I guess I'm not looking for that fantasy and I just want the whole encounter to be exactly what it is, two people who agreed upon meeting for different reasons and maybe it will be fun. Not that going in with the idea of it being a fantasy is bad or anything.

Wow, so many different responses. Personally, I don't buy the match dot com or e harmony comparisons.  If you advertise that you DFK, then you should DFK-period. If not, don't say that you do. I LOVE when a provider does properly DFK after a bit of LFK to get used to each other. It really makes the session very special for me and many other hobbysts. I also look for these types of providers that do DFK well, check reviews etc., but for the most part, most providers just do the wide open mouth lip lock with no tongue.  I get that this is a YMMV thing, but, like others have stated, I go into an appointment very clean or shower and/or clean myself up and always have fresh breath, with no 5 o clock shadow. I get that some hobbyists don't care about DFK, but many, including myself do. I see those that do multiple times but they are far and few between.

I agree with the tongue down the throat complaint Tobi, but that's not what this is about. It's about sensuaL, passionate DFK, which is a huge selling point for some of us. I'm just trying to figure out what the providers actually mean when they advertise it as part of the experience. With one of the providers I saw it was almost comical the way she kissed, quick pecks with a flitting tongue. He'll, we were doing much better than that in the 6th grade. Again, this was a very highly regarded woman, so I do not discount the possibility it was simply something she sensed in me. All I know is that the women I have repeated with are outstanding at kissing, and will always have my business.

The soft lips, the sensuality of the kiss, and the chemistry it creates between each other. I would have to disagree as far as the ones saying older guys just stick their tongue down your throat, or have a rough tongue. Although it might have happened to you, it hasn't happened to me that I know of. The men I see love to kiss, and I get so many compliments on how soft my lips are, and how I kiss so good. I am not just trying to hurry the moment, and that is a big thing to. From the time he walks in that door to the time he leaves, I want him to enjoy every bit of it and then some, and already can't wait to come back for more.

if that is what happens between us then it happens.  It is a magic combination and cant really be predicted or forced but no way anybody can tell me it isnt "real". One thing I love about this lifestyle is that because there are boundaries I am allowed to really just fall into an experience with somebody and feel fully without the little nagging fears of commitment.  I am not gonna marry ya.. I am not gonna call ya.. and I am not doing your fucking laundry.  But the sex part.. and the intimacy part.. yes yes yessss!  But I do agree dfk is very intimate and isnt for everybody.  Lucky for me I like the whole spectrum.. I like it HARD and crazy ANNND I like it soft and sensual with lots of kissing.

I think it's one of those industry terms that doesn't have a consensus definition. Kinda like GFE & PSE.  

and personally it is harder for me to kiss and stay interested in kissing a guy with a mustache.  The little hairs poke me if you are freshly trimmed and leave road rash which hurts all over my mouth and around it.  It is better if you are not freshly trimmed but then if the hair is long it tries to go up my nose which tickles and kinda grosses me out a little.  Both of the above I try to power through but it can be hard when you are trying not to giggle or trying to hide the pain of road rash.  

Couldn't agree more! May as well stay home without passionate kissing!!!

I feel every person has a slightly different style... and I can always learn so much. It's really enjoyable to take time with people who like to explore kissing and really do the work by listening to the body language and passion to make kissing absolutely amazing.

Speaking as a recent sampler of Miss Erin Black's brand of sensuality, I can heartily endorse it.