Had a recent session with a well know lady and at the beginning she said lets relax on the couch and talk.
This went on for about at least 20 min. She stated  she likes to get a feel for someone before going to the bedroom and I do not have a problem with that at all. But  I only had a 1 hour  and we were only in the bedroom like 35 min  NOW! I have a problem with that I am not paying anyone to BS  with .  If  she wanted to talk it should not of cut into my session.   Thoughts on this and when do you start your meter ?

When I started and did only meet and greet dates, our bedroom time was when I started the hour. I did explain in the beginning of our communication that our dates could be up to 90 mins but with only an hour "alone" time. Most were fine with it.

I try to reserve extended discussion to the time in-between for "recovery time" ~ or at the end of the date. I would email the provider and let her know how you feel along with any other suggestions that are put down here on the board. Remember to be gentle and not come off as over bearing or critical... Think of the phrase "more flies with honey than vinegar" approach.

Xoxo
VC

-- Modified on 5/6/2012 6:06:17 AM

Many ladies offer a 90 min session for first time guests for precisely this reason. For a long time I personally used to require a gentleman see me for a massage session prior to being able to book a GFE session with me just to make sure we were comfortable with each other before being that intimate. (That is no longer necessary BTW since most of my guests are repeats now). I can't fault her for starting the clock when you arrive, since technically this is a business and you are paying for time, BUT she should give the extra 20-30 min in that initial session if that is what makes her more comfortable. If you offer an hour session without mention of this required "get to know you" time, you should expect, as a provider, that the man will want his full hour to play.

Just my 2 cents.
Bella

I find greeting with a kiss and making that kiss linger as long as possible warms me up, breaks the ice for the new gentleman and if he's shy it's easy to keep going. Talk time is usually left for intermission or cuddle time just so a gentleman doesn't feel taken advantage of. If this lady needs this extra time in the beginning she needs to express how much and who pays for the time otherwise many men would express your feelings and more.

Did anyone note this in her reviews. This is something that other gentlemen who just take 1 hour dates might want to know. You can note this in the introduction free part of a review but others may feel you can't and wrote something to this fact in the juicy details. Are you VIP and did you read many of her reviews?

Kisses Haley

I agree. She should require an introductory 90-min or massage meeting.

It's an old (and well known, but apparently NOT in your case) trick of paid escorts to "sweet talk" clients to such an extent that it minimizes the actual amount of time that the paid escort has to dedicate to having sex.

The paid escort KNOWS that most clients (like you) are too nice and bashful to stop the chit chat and move directly to the "main event". It makes you wonder if the client remembered that HE is the one that's paying for the escort, NOT vice versa.

Couple comments:

1) You're paying for time, so I can't fault her for including that but it should have been stated and understood up front that this time was included in the overall time. Otherwise you'll feel somewhat ripped off.

2) I've had providers "milk the clock" with me before and I'm far too polite to say anything, but when that has happened it guarantees I'll never be a repeat client. I stick to providers who are either clear about their expectations or are well known for being generous with their time/not clock watchers. Oddly enough, I've found price gives no indication of this, I've had fantastic times with people at $250 and mediocre or bad times with people at double that, so it's all about homework and sometimes you just need to find someone you click with.

because I do this, or at least similarly.

Unless I know you well, you need to talk to me so I can get to know you a little as it makes things more comfortable and I can more readily show proper interest.  For me it is just not sexy to have a guy walk in that I do not know and want to throw down in the hall before he has said a word to me.  It has happened but I assure you he did not get my best!  
However, I am not a clock watcher and unless I am strapped for time after we will likely go over time so that at least 45-50mins is in bed out of every hour.  

Personally, with the specials I run and the rates for my services/value and quality if service you still get a great deal.  If you are looking to pump it hard for your entire 60mins and take a shower after, and talk to me after it is just not going to happen.  Those are the types that get shooed out the door quickly.  Time is more generous for those who indulge what the lady needs as well.

So, it sucks but if that isn't what you were looking for you should have booked with another lady.  Likely her reviews stated this and you may or may not have paid any attention to that part.  Plus, since that is of a non-sexual nature you can always ask before the session if the lady has a get to know you period.  

You might even think to contact her(hey it might be me but the 35mins in bed hangs me up, not sure that would be me) and let her know your concern and see if she might be willing to extend you a special courtasy on your next visit.

Lastly, if you find that you have had enough couch time then suggest moving it on the the bedroom.  Never assume that time starts at any other time then when you walked through the door, so make your time what you want it to be.  Keep in mind that some(like me) that value a little get together time may not wish to visit again if you are upfront about not getting to know one another.  

My last, I promise....  I am a GFE/PSE mix, and GFE doesn't mean you jump into bed the min you come over(how many of you have had a GF that jumped your bones EVERY time you crossed their threshhold without a word uttered?) it does mean comfort.  To me it is not sexy to jump right into bed before I know a thing about you, it will shut my kitten down and you can do what you like but you are not going to wake it up again till I CAN get turned on.  

That is just me though and why I keep my rates on the lower end...Sage

...but sometimes you do have to put your consumer gear on and make the time you paid for worthwhile. I say this because for me, the date usually starts with a kiss that gives me the first clue regarding his energy. And if we fall into a conversation, I am taking cues from HIM regarding when we get to the good stuff. It's usually about 15-20 minutes into the session where I make the first move. And I do so specifically because I want to avoid being viewed as one of the providers MSHSEX talks about. It is not a scam to make intimacy shorter, it's just my way of making sure your comfortable.

So with that said, you have to open your mouth, or better yet close it when your money and time are on the line.

for most providers we use couch time to stimulate as well.  Do you think we sit there ram rod straight all the way on our side of the couch and you on yours?  NOPE, I have my legs all over them and my hands rub and tease.  My lips feel the need for kissing sometimes sidetracking the conversation so much we forget what we are talking about.  That just lends to the tease, and ultimately the makings of a wonderfully comfortable and hot session.  If I know you, then couch time need not be required unless you like that part....  Did I forget that sometimes a little more happens in the living room?  My mouth is sometimes so hungry.....  

Just saying, just because you are on the couch for 20mins doesn't necessarily mean you were being neglected there.  So fill us in, what happened or didn't while you were on the couch baby?

And for the ladies who say that that time should not be included in the fee, really?  I mean I am not trying to be snarky but you only charge for the time you are in the bed?  So, conversation in person is free, so maybe dinner/lunch is free too?  I mean where do you draw the line?

Gents, just be upfront with the lady.  If you don't want or want to minimize the couch time say something.  It will work for some, not for other....  There is not a one size fits all for sessions and how they should go....

I think playing on the couch is a real turn on as well. I can't imagine any gentlemen complaining about your introduction time or should I say seduction time. This is one of the best ways to make everyone feel comfortable including a threesome.

Kisses Haley

A 20 minute "Get to know you" conversation should not count against the client at the first session. Those first  "free" 20 minutes can pay dividends down the road for the provider. The client might feel cheated out of his time if he feels the intial conversation counted as part of the session. If it is not counted against him he may happily be a repeat customer.

That couch of yours has been a very friendly and fun place for me over the years. I'm not going to say too much, other than I hope to repeat with Sage many, many times in the future.

-end of message  

as well if he doesn't get it because it is explained as get to know you time on a 1st date only.  Then what, he comes here to complain.  LOL, I have seen this over and over, best to be consistent then to toss freebies around when you want a regular because you will have to keep it up EVERY date

Nobody likes getting ripped off provider or hobbyist most of the answers here are just trying to be fair to keep all parties happy . Yet one tries to justify  her actions as reasonable  well  I would have a problem with that and  as he stated 20-25 min. of bullshitting  she really thinks she deserves full pop.  That is were researching the ladies you see is so very important. Steer clear of the bottom dwellers  as history would be more likely to repeat itself.   ElleJ  I like your answer  She is right you have to open your mouth it is your money speak up for yourself pal.

...so we can take our time getting to know each other or have an extra thirty minutes of fun!

You may want to consider being more proactive next time and let the lady know you would like to move to the bedroom area.

I have had similar experiences, where a significant percentage, as much as 50%, of my paid time was something other than what I would consider sexual play. Some of those experiences were wonderful, with that other time serving as foreplay that relaxed and excited me so the sex was fabulous, and other times I have felt ripped off. In fact, I have had a couple of misunderstandings about the clock with ladies I was seeing regularly. In both cases, I bit the bullet because I had not asked and their positions were reasonable (i.e. it never is OTC unless she says it is OTC). For one lady, I stopped seeing her after that, and for the other I now know to always ask. That is the lesson here - ask.

So, here is the deal. If you enjoyed seeing her, go back and do it the way you want to - take her straight to bed. Do not complain about the first date (which was clearly good enough to bring you back) as she gave you your hour, and what result do you expect to get from complaining - an extra 25 minutes? If you do not want her to count every minute, then I suggest you not count every minute either. If she still seems to be watching the clock and keeping you strictly to it, you will need to decide whether or not to go back. Over time it all works out if you get along with the lady.

And remember to ask next time someone wants some social time how that factors into the time you are buying. It is not an unreasonable question.

I am surprised that the lady in question kept you strictly on the 60 minute schedule for a first date when she suggested more visiting time. In my experience, ladies often are a little more accomadating on that first date, to be sure you come back. That might suggest something else was at play - maybe she had another commitment, did not see you as a good prospect for repeat visits for some reason, or really is a grade A clock watcher. If it is something other than the last, you might find that your hour becomes a little more relaxed the next time, without you needing to say anything at all. I think that would be ideal.

zig

she wanted me to remind you all that sometimes things feel a little sketchy(not following directions or asking to many questions after verified, or even being extremely late when they should not have been according to their arrival time in the lot) and the "get to know you" time is actually used to feel the gent out and make sure he is safe and not completely off his rock.  

I would happen to agree, generally I personally will just decline if I feel something is arye in the set up process because if there are already issues they are not going to get any better later on, however some ladies will solder on.   Sometimes you don't know there is an issue/nerves till it takes 15mins for someone to get from your lobby to your door(a feat that even the slowest could have achieved in 5mins).  If something the guest does in the lead up to the session makes the provider nervous 1 of 2 things happen

1) she has to have time to feel you out and make sure things are going to be ok, you have to remember the providers have been killed/robbed/beaten/raped/and abused in other ways as well and this will continue to happen as long as guests see us as a product where they want to get their $$ and not as a person.  A few mins to make sure a guest is balanced and ok it the least we should be able to ask for our health and safety as well as your reputation.  Yes, your rep depends on our nerves.  I am not sure how many times I have heard this guy suspected LE or reported for things that generally made a lady a bundle of nerves, why?  Because there was no time to assure the guy was ok in session and the nerves kept hitting the girl wrong.  Just because you know you are harmless doesn't mean we know this!  So if a provider ever seems nervous to you, SUGGEST a little converstion, clothed, it will make for a better session(less mechanical) and it may well keep you off a black list.  Keep in mind I do not do this, the only gents I have personally black listed are 2 that took my sevices and then refused to compensate me and I think someone else put both of them in the data base.

2)She can just cancel.  Just because you arrived does not mean she has to see you.  If you have her freaking out for one reason or another she has every right to cancel.  It sucks and no one likes to do that, however there are times when the little spidey senses in your tummy start in so hard from the warning signs that there is no way even with convo time a provider could become relaxed enough to play through properly.  Besides is that what you want, a girl that is just trying to get through if for the sake of getting through it???

Lastly, gents and this is from another way weird convo I have been having off and on with a couple other providers....  If you want to know why we may not go overtime on a session, here are a few reasons:

1)Can't stop talking about other providers.  Now we may ask if you have seen anyone good lately(we ask so we know where to send our guests if we can't accommodate them, the more good we hear the more likely we will and we always want our guests to have a great time) but when you spend a majority of the time talking about this one or that one and what she can do or lets you do or whatnot....  Well it just makes us uncomfortable...

2)Start talking about how you have had incest with a family member or fantasize about young teen girls or boys.  Shoot I once had a guest(10+yrs ago and I still have not forgotten) say he had been luring young teen boys that do his lawn into his bed(barf!!  he was from out of town and this was when I was agency so there was not a thing I could do either!!).  

3)talk to stick it in raw, are you kidding.... NO!!!  It also means we will rush that session to get it over with, once you show no concern for our heath we are outta there.  Ask 2x and you leave now NO REFUND!

4)Try to stick it in the booty when either the booty was not agreed upon before hand or is not offered.  This is not something ANY provider can do dry without added lubes and preparation.  If done wrong or without proper prep it can actually have consequences that could land her in the hospital, not to mention if she says no and you go ahead what that REALLY means.  

A dry personality, someone unable to hold a conversation, someone who batters our clit till it is so sensitive and then still doesn't stop.  I know it sounds like alot....

But the big thing that has to be remembered, we a people just like you so treat us in a fashion that you would also like to be treated and you will get it back 10 fold.  It also happens in turn if you treat us with disrespect or harm, you will get it back 10 fold.  

I stand by the if you want to hurry it along ask, but if she puts a hand on your leg and tells you that I would love to but my nerves have still got me in a knot I am trying hard to work through because of the(whatever happened that made her on edge) you will only be setting yourself up for a REALLY awful session if you rush it.

That if a provider does decide to see the client despite apprehensions the client is STILL in the right to expect at least 50 min of playtime, perhaps meeting in the middle for shower(s), getting to know you time and general mishaps. By agreeing to take the appt, the client should not be "docked time" for more apprehension.

I would like to add to your list of inappropriate behavior- the resubmitting to a provider of your verification info if asked- even if you have already seen her - DO IT GUYS!!. It's a catch 22, clients dont want us to keep their info but get offended if we don't remember everything after 4/5/6 months. Especially if you've only seen the provider one other time.

If a girl wants your Verification info- you should give it to her. Besides, we need to make sure you've been a good boy since we saw you last!!

Xoxo
VC

I kinda agree with you there.  This provider that contacted me(I assure you it was not me and not someone who posts here) should have went over by a bit if she was not in fact feeling up on and having the couch time be sexy time as well.  Personally I would have just cancelled, anyone who makes me that nervous isn't worth seeing.  She choose to go ahead and her judgement was her own, pretty sure this thread is about her which is why she contacted me in the 1st place.  

I think if the gent chooses then most of his time should be in bed, sure.  But some want that couch time for the mind fuck of it all, the tease, the actual feel that they are with a girlfriend.   I have done 5hr appts where I spent 3hrs on the couch at HIS request teasing and taunting him(to bad we never got to play the sex game he brought me, we haven't visited in a while but I remember him and it was fun).  Have you no IDEA how hard it is to stay on the couch teasing and playing when you really are daydreaming about taking that c*ck in the other room???

Anyway, moral of the story is that the session should always be what he wants and needs.  We as professionals are there to watch, see, and move the time as we read our guests to provide them the fulfillment they desire.  Setting limitations or timing guidelines that they should get at least this much of that and no more then this much of this is a little guided for me, I prefer to offer an experience where my guest gets what he wants/needs/desires and not sudo clock watch to get them the proper timing......

Then you kinda have to figure in those who leave early, it happens off and on generally with those who are just so exhausted after they visit that they want to get on the road before they fall asleep....  LOL, so much fun to drain a guest.  Again, it is at their choosing and alot of time they haven't gotten to play for 50mins....

There are no set rules for a session.  We are here to feel them out and get them what they need, that is all....  At least that is why I am here...

BTW, I agree....  There is nothing more irritating(I just had this happen last week as a matter of a fact, have to search him by phone # and found finally) then a past guest you only saw 1x and haven't seen or spoken to in over a year wanting to visit again but refusing to give a last name because we should know you by your 1st name???  Until we get to know a gent well we still have to make sure it is you every time.  Though I would not make a guest leave right on time or be un-nerved by it.  I understand why....  The experience was great and you are hoping I remember you that same way you remember me.  Sometimes I do, but time certainly fades my memory a bit.  9/10x I will remember you when I invite you in or peek you through my peep hole.....  

Anyway, Take care all and stay safe, Sage

Ability to see multiple sides of the same coin have come through here. That isn't booty kissing either- it's earned respect where it's deserved.

Xoxo
VC

-- Modified on 5/9/2012 1:56:39 PM