I admit it. Recently I did a nonsense to a provider. Shame on me. I felt a little guilty about it because I'm generally not that type of guy (I know someone's gonna take that out of context. Have fun).

First off, whats up with all the preconceived notions and expectations? Please. Stop. Everytime you walk into something with high expectations, you usually set yourself up for failure . . . whether its in the hobby, in life, or with that BigMac you ordered at MickeyD's. We all know that the bun on that thing ain't as round and perfect!  

It's kind of hard reading people(or getting a feel for people)through text or email.She could have been eagerly smiling on the other side of the computer.The only way to get a feel for a person is by talking to them on the phone.I don't think you should have blown her off like that.AGAIN just my 2 cents

Thanks for your POV Adrienne. I actually agree with you. There's some stuff I think you're missing though. Two points to be exact.  

That being said though, I think you have that fairest, most honest, and considerate cancellation policy I've ever heard of. I think more ladies should model themselves like you Adrienne. It shows an amount of integrity and pride that is rare these days.  

Your post makes clear that it's very important to you. You are paying for a service, and to you the communication up front is an important part of the service. If her communication doesn't do it for you, you could just move on, but you should have the courtesy to let the escort know right away that you've changed your plans just as you would want to know ASAP if her plans changed for whatever reason.

Yeah you're right I should have let her know. Once upon a time I let a regular know I didn't like something that she said and it turned out badly. I guess my real concern is if she says something I don't like and I let her know does she have the right to lose her cool? And ufo so, am I wrong for cancelling our date?

At that point, you are trying to shut things down as quickly and graciously as possible. I would just say something generic like "I'm very sorry, but my plans have changed and I have to cancel" and hope she gets the message. If she offers to reschedule, decline and hope that that ends things, which it should if she's reasonably attuned to things.

Here's my issue: I am cautious to the point of paranoia.  For that reason, I keep it to just the facts and maybe a touch of pleasantries.    

Most of us are educated women, so don't think we can't form basic communication skills....  Manners I'm sure lack to idiot ill mannerism on the clients part but most will respond with more then one word responses!!!!  

Makes perfect sense Debbie. I suppose I don't want to risk not having a good date when my instincts are telling me there's a poor impression being made on her part. I mean I offered my verification info without being asked. To me I'm going above and beyond by doing this.

Posted By: Debra_Hollander

Here's my issue: I am cautious to the point of paranoia.  For that reason, I keep it to just the facts and maybe a touch of pleasantries.    
   
 One thing a lot of clients don't realize is that many providers get a lot of emails & texts from people who do NOT meet our screening requirements. So I like to just get that out of the way first.  That means my initial reply will always be very businesslike and to-the-point.  
 There are a lot of reasons why I might keep my email convo short and sweet, but the main one is so as not to slip up and say anything off-putting or suspicious.  Plus, I'm super-nervous with new people.    
   
 Yes, I've been told my demeanor is dry and about as exciting as setting an appointment with your accountant.  I'm not about to change that, and if that means I lose some folks, I'm okay with that.    
   
 We each have to find our own comfort levels and stick with those who are in the same zone.    
 

...you should be able to ascertain what a date with her would be like before even sending your initial communique. Lots of us are very active on social media, and her reviews should tell you a lot about what an experience is like with her.  

Yeah. I am all about reviews and websites I agree with you there. I'd be ignorant to disregard that there are all types of ladies and gentlemen. I've visited what most would regard as a premium provider. One who is pretty well posted on TER, advertised on mainstream websites, and has lots of great reviews. I made it to her incall in the nw burbs and......... let's just say I left underwhelmed. I made a post on TER similar to this one asking the opinion of my peers and providers and basically ended with one conclusion....... YMMV. This has happened on more than one occasion for me with no fault of my own. So a providers comfort level prior to meeting her is pretty important to me because obviously I'd like to enjoy our time instead of feeling like I could have seen someone else. Reviews are pretty subjective.  

I know that most providers get way too many emails to send long replies. I often get on average 100 or more emails every single day. On days that i'm touring I can get 200 or 300 or more. I try to sound as nice and sweet as possible in my emails. But if we have never met before and you send me an email, if you didn't include your screening info in the first email, my reply is usually always "Thanks for emailing me! Could you please send along your verification info so we can get screening out of the way? XoXo, Brooke"

I don't get that many emails but I do try to respond using sentences then one word replies!!! Lo

Seriously.  No matter what it is you want from a lady, there are those who will give you exactly what you want & need.  

I agree that providers don't like cancellations. Like I said in my post, shame on me for doing it. I'd totally see you Debbie. I suppose I think of it in a chivalrous way. I'm old enough to remember when cars did not all come with automatic locks. Was taught that you unlock and open the door for your date because it's the gentleman thing to do. But if she can't unlock your door as you walk around, then she's about herself.

I've made lots of money and returning business off of great email correspondence. I've also lost it too, during periods I couldn't maintain the emails to retain them for periods of time. But they don't book, then blow me off. They just stop booking. That initial wooing is an excellent tool to make a lasting impression on both sides. I do know that, and I've had some really awesome long term guys for that. But they were with the approach as you did - people who send a really nice email. I've been working on a nice "thank you for the kind email introducing at least who you are, yes, please do my screening - I'd love to see you." If they have a TER ID or something I can pull up with their email, I'll usually send a message back. Some random dude - probably not unless he gave me at least something.

Blowing her off without notice was not the right way to go about it. Without taking offense to or overreacting to the term "needy", I'd probably say a few of you ladies seem to be missing my point just a little.  

P.S. you're a very beautiful woman Courtney. You seem genuine and sweet. I wish I could see a woman like you. Muah

I think sometimes the clientele we cater to most often can change our approach toward the general inquiries. Some women may cater to the one sentence email guys, while others may cater to the guys who say a little more.

You have taken offense to the term "needy", because you mentioned it. You are very sensitive, and that requires care, but it also requires communication on your part.

I am with people who are good  to me, but in the beginning I do express my needs. And if a guy refuses meet my needs, I'm like you. I get turned off quickly. But I also express them up front. No one has to guess with me, because I don't like guessing.  

I'm at a bit of a loss Courtney. I will admit that I've actually seen athe least 2 women that have responded to this post. That being said I really don't take offense. I've developed thick skin from the things I've been through in my life. I can generally tell though when someone is intentionally making an effort to hurt my feelings and I can tell that you weren't doing that at all. I guess to you if I were to tell you I'm rs2k verified and that I have the ability to see a variety of ladies that would mean I've taken offense to you suggesting I may get a lot of no's and have a reputation for ncns. Just because I acknowledge specifics does not mean I've taken offense. Please don't feel that I'm offended, or angry, or upset at all. I wanted to get a provider's perspective so I can't be offended when they give it to me. I can't take it personally, I give examples of my experiences to help support my statements not to say "how dare you disagree". That's just not what's happening here. To be completely honest though I would like to think I had a shot at booking with you and it does kinda disappoint me that this perspective makes you feel some type of biased towards me. I actually like women that are straight forward. Just because you are straight forward though does not mean someone can't sway your POV though.

I could totally talk to you for hours Courtney. I guess we can call it needy like you said. Certain things just seem to be common courtesy. You're a rare find Courtney. Muah Muah

LOL.

-- Modified on 7/11/2016 12:12:51 AM

Re:

The difficulty about communication is that tit for tat factor. The factor that you are comfortable with a hearty discussion without being offended, upset, discouraged, or frustrated. I think you're a bit better at tit for tat than you are letting on Courtney. My idea I'm gonna throw out it that people become frustrated after awhile. They take things out of context or throw a fit.  

I am very business like in my communications with clients, even regular clients. In my experience, my best clients are gentlemen who WANT very little contact. They know what they want. They know they want to see me. They visit. We have fun. My sessions are wonderful and I am GREAT at what I do. But....If you want your ass kissed before you've paid me a measly nickel, I'm not the provider for you. In fact, you'd be the exact type of client I'm try my very darnedest to avoid.

And always listen to your instincts in the non P4P world also.

Posted By: Debra_Hollander

Posted By: sljackson

Makes perfect sense Debbie. I suppose I don't want to risk not having a good date when my instincts are telling me there's a poor impression being made on her part.  
 

   
 In the P4P world we all, on both sides of the equation, need to always always always listen to our instincts and trust in them!  
 If you're not getting the vibe you want from someone, then pass.  It really is that simple.    
   
 That being said, it really sounds to me like you need to search out providers who offer more than just an in-the-room experience.  Someone who states she is about building relationships with her client-friends.  
   
 I've ready many ladies' ads & sites who come right out and say that they don't want to see someone only once, that they are looking to establish a rapport with each and every gentleman.   Find those types of ladies and stick with them....  
   
   
 In other words, someone more like Courtney Ova and less like me.    
   
   

Posted By: sljackson

I mean I offered my verification info without being asked. To me I'm going above and beyond by doing this.  
 

   
   
 OK.  Hmmmm..... I'm trying to say this nicely but the fact of the matter is that I completely disagree.  I absolutely want your verification info right off the bat and do not consider this to be going "above and beyond".    
 It shows me you are likely serious about scheduling, but that's it.  Heck, even when a client immediately gives me not only his RS2K info but also tells me exactly when he wants to see me..... no, that's not "above and beyond" either.    
   
 Because this isn't unusual for me.  My guys frequently provide everything I need in the first email.    
 It's just not the big deal you seem to think it is.  :shrug:  
   

Posted By: sljackson

 
 What I'm trying to find out is if others find there is a correlation in the actual service when the contact prior to the visit was poor?  
 

   
 From my own point of view, I do notice that when we're not clicking in pre-date correspondence, that often means we won't click in person.   I turn people away for this reason all the time.    
   
 We all have the right to pass on anyone if we're not feeling it.    
   
 My point is that this, to me, is not the same as a lack of service or even poor customer service skills.    
   
 It's simply an indication of who isn't a good fit for you, specifically.    
   
   
 

-- Modified on 7/11/2016 7:58:27 AM

I have cut down on timewasters and needy clients by about 95% by asking in the very first response to clients when they would like to visit me. If they don't respond with an exact date and time, I know they aren't serious. That's my cue to move on, and that's also where communication ends. Clients who want excessive communication are not good clients, because they aren't making me money. Sure, they may pay my hourly rate in person but they are also taking up valuable time with their excessive communication for which I'm not being paid.

The experience begins in the emails, so if I am not 1. prompt 2. Welcoming and Approachable 3. Patient and 4. Informative- then I am not doing my side of communication correctly.  

Vanessa!!! That is exactly the point I was trying to make. I think there's something to be said about when 2 people click. This absolutely establishes a level of "mental" attraction for me at leaSt.

I read the ops post.

I've not received a single PM Elle. I don't get offended though because I know that I am addressing what appears to be a pretty controversial issue. I'm not sure if you mean it to be offensive or not, but passive aggressive suggests that I'm kinda being aggressive on the back of a missed opportunity to be assertive. Like I was saying to Courtney earlier I think some of my point is being missed? I'm not saying that no one should visit her. I give an example here that's relatable because there's not much variance.  

There are many, many providers who are all business who provide exceptionally wonderful service. There are many communicative providers who provide shit service. One has very little to do with the other.  

I respect your opinion. Thank you for sharing.

ounds like you really didn't have your mind made up with the first provider. You were waiting for a warm and fuzzy comeback from her and it didn't happen...so off with her head. Ouch!  

I don't need extreme ass kissing or to read a novel, but first impressions are everything in the business world. I certainly don't decline to proceed with escorts I'm contacting for the first time who are businesslike in their e-mails, but if someone can't be bothered to put a few basic, friendly words together, the signal I get is she will be a cold fish and I find it sets the tone for the rest of my time with her. I find myself repeating with escorts who are personable in their communication. A joke, a mild flirtation, or a "I'm looking forward to meeting you!" is quick, easy and free to give and goes a long way in setting the tone for the rest of your business interaction.

I agree.

Exactly my point. See if could be friends with this guy. Let play some golf some time.

I actually work in a sales and service environment and showing a customer that I am attentive, knowledgeable, and focus is my bread and butter. That being said some of you ladies have a bit of a social dilemma going on. I'm not sure why my post inspires so many of you to feel the need to insult just because we have differences. Yes I'm totally trying see if some of your POV'so can be swayed. But just because you're a vegetarian and I enjoy steak does not mean I'm disgusted to the point I've gotta insult you like the replies I've gotten.

Some get a little attitude, and they reply back "Courtney, I know you probably get a bunch of crazy emails, but note I am not one of them. I just sent through your booking form." Then I explain they're stranger dangers, and they get the Wall Street Rich Bitch eyes down the nose until I know they're cool, safe, and a good person to invite into my life. LOL.

I would say I tend to be more business-like in my email conversations, especially if it is someone new to me. We don't have any type of relationship yet so I will be cordial but we have nothing in particular to talk about other than the actual date.

I agree with you too. We as clients need to be communicating in the direction of booking. If we aren't, then we are not being respectful of the lady's time. To this point is where I say in my post that I offered my verification info up front because I am familiar that this is the information she'd need to see that I am serious about meeting her. The part she ignored ironically was my offer to provide VERIFICATION INFO. Then went into what you ladies are calling "straight to business". It's like saying that the verification info is not a part of your business and I'm a NEEDY TIME WAISTER because I've offered it. It was wrong to just blow off the date, but she did kinda blow me off first when I was doing nothing except treating her as a gentleman. Now I can totally understand if a guy is trying to converce without actually talking about scheduling a visit. But if you go back and read my post again I did kinda mention she actually  blew of the process of verification that happens before scheduling.

just go to match.com already

I suppose since there is no standard on either side, then every one of us can be looked at as NEEDY. But then again none of us are NEEDY. If you see a girl for a date and don't get what you were looking for, then were you more needy that she was willing to provide or was she not a good provider because she didn't provide the expected service?  

I agree with the ladies, especially Erin.  

what you're asking for is basically unpaid labor and the fact that you didn't bother to request a specific day/time/session length in your initial email demonstrates your time-wasting tendencies. she had every right to be terse in her responses because quite frankly she doesn't owe you anything outside of the time you pay for. if you want a pen pal in the days leading up to the date, be prepared compensate her for that time. you are not entitled to having her coddle you for free. don't be a baby.

Yeah, so I think you may not have read the post. No one said I'm looking for a pen pal or that it's expected to dedicate time in email writing leading up to the date. Feel free to do like Debbie did and quote from the post where I've made this impression. But to go back to something Debbie did mention from my post is that I feel like I went above and beyond. Not that she owed me anything, but that I made it a point to assure her that I was serious about the date and was not wasting her time. I offered my verification info without being asked and she blew that off. I've been around for awhile and the response at that point is to say "thank you" and get the information. Hell it even actually makes me feel more comfortable when a provider does some level of screening and verification because I get an impression there's some level of standard to the suitors she sees. She totally missed that. No she doesn't have to do it be writing a full paragraph response. The like minded tend to think alike. Same way you are ignoring specific details and taking things out of context, so did she.

You want providers to jump through communication hoops, without any compensation, to obtain your patronage.  

Please quote my original unmodified post showing where I give the impression that I'm looking for a provider to quote jump through communication hoops without any compensation to obtain your patronage?

Or let's settle this once and for all. You or any other providers can attach a link to your site or whatever. I will contact anonymous within the next couple days to make it fair with the same exact message I sent her. I guarantee 100% that I will not get the same fluff I got from her and you can see that there's a difference.

I agree with you 100 percent I am a busy person I need to plan ahead. I plan my workouts my diet my work schedule. I text some of   the provides try to start a conversation about future times and dates I get attitude I am a time waster I am needy. What ever I have black list also if they can't spend couple minutes for few days to work something out I don't need them in my life.

If you're such a good planner, you should know the exact date and time you'd like to see the provider. Try contacting your stylist, your personal trainer, your accountant, your attorney or any number of other professionals about "potential" dates/times. Please report back with how they respond.

I do know the exact time and dates they don't have in call or all other provider's come in on weekend that don't work. Or because you time slot does not work that is the last you here from them.

Nothing wrong with asking me for a time, just do it like this.

Ok. If this is the price range you're looking at. You are lucky you got that response! I'm sure that bad customer service girl's phone was blowing up like Mt. St. Helen's on a bad day back in the 80's, and people were running to call her like the people running when the volcano erupted.  

Oh wow Courtney. I'm gonna say it again oh wow. Here's the way I respond to that. I appreciate your interest in me. I've viewed your website and find nothing but an intriguing, classy, and educated woman who seems to love life and love sex. Before I'd even visit you, I'd already know that you're an above average kinda lover.

If I am spending my money or investing my time I like to get information to see if its worth it. And believe me their is a lot of misdirection going on in this game. And the one thing they don't want you to do is ask questions.

Some are arguing that they are on the clock and it is a waist of time if you don't follow through with the date. I agree with them if they are counting every minute of every day as a factor of earnings. There is no product or service being currently offered where each interested customer/client ends up turning into a sale. You are actually hoping for the greatest rate of your time though. There's ano argument that can be made that certain clients are not worth their time because their interest level is not as high as others. Then again there's also an argument that can be made that in order to truly maximize your time you must be adaptable to different clients with different circumstances. Otherwise you find yourself marketing to one type of client and that's totally okay, but then you can no longer argue that every waking minutes if every day is potential income because you are actually limiting your market, product, or service in this case to those that meet YOUR own circumstances. Ironically though you are in a business where it's actually the other way around that your client feels value because your meet what his needs are. Sometimes those needs will align with your own and other times they won't.

I am with you on this! When I do my screening, I am very straight to the point. Although I do have some friendly talk in there and I will let a guy know that I am looking forward to meeting them. Now, BCD it's a totally different story! We will for sure have plenty of fun!

No I don't like talking bad about providers, especially privately. Why not put her name out publicly? Then she can defend herself and no one is sneakily talking about someone with no solution to the problem.

-- Modified on 7/17/2016 2:21:35 PM

Experiences tend to vary. I think websites and reviews to give a general idea of what a provider is like, but those reviews vary from date to date plus or minus a few factors.