Just as background, my long-time provider left the industry, so while I'm not a total newbie, navigating some things is a bit foreign to me.

Here's the scenario: I had decided I'd like to see a well-known and well-reviewed provider (whose name I won't mention.) I contacted her via email, and breezily completed her screening/verification process. The process was quick, she was prompt in her replies, and the communication was easy and speedy. Soon she mentioned to me that she was going to unexpectedly be staying in town, so I emailed her right back suggesting a time to meet for an incall appointment, and I asked if a shower would be available both before and after our time together. Suddenly, radio silence, for a few days now.

Lest I sound neurotic, I should point out that I assume something came up and she's become otherwise occupied. But it got me thinking: While obviously I'd never discuss anything explicit via email, was the shower inquiry a breach of etiquette? I can't imagine it was, but I just thought I'd poll you all to see if that's something best left discussed in person

That is a very common question.... "The shower question"  comes up from time to time......and for sure not a "breach of etiquette" to ask.  Many ladies go so far as to write all that on their websites, (which I scratch my heads as to "why" they would list that on there.....   seems more like a personal note thing to me, I do make mention of it when I send general directions to my location the day prior to our appointment, that a shower is available if they are coming directly from work, yadda yadda yadda)  But if the lady has it all on her website and then you ask in an email, she may get miffed by that and then choose not to respond to you, when a simple, "sure, no problem" would have been so easy to type and push Send.   Maybe she thinks that a shower would take too much time?  Many ladies do count the shower time in to the session time, so maybe she decided she wasn't going to deal with it and just chose not to reply.  who knows.

 But, getting back to YOUR question....I would be mystified if that were "the reason" as to why you have not heard from her .

I wrote some thoughts as to why ladies "go silent" on the MN board a few weeks ago....
Here is an excerpt from that post:

If she has went "radio silent"......
Keep in mind:  
 1) Most ladies do not have "help" with their emails and communication tasks....and it can become a bit daunting at times.  At least it did for me "pre-assistant" days.    
 2) Some ladies, rather than a polite note telling you they have changed their mind about seeing you, OR that the day isn't going to work out after all, just simply do not write back.    
   
 why do women do this?   Here's a couple of "my" insights to the oh-so-complicated female mind  
   
    a) It's less work for them (why should they spend MORE time on you if they don't want to    
           see you in the future)  
    b) They assume that you, the client, will just KNOW what "no response" means  
    c) they forget to do it  
   
 I would suggest sending her a polite quick little follow-up note.   and then just wait.  In any event, I hope you hear back from her!

Thanks, Portia! There wasn't anything listed about a shower on her site, so that's why I asked.

And as far as "the reason" goes, I'm not too worried about it either way. Whether she changed her mind or just got too busy, or something else, it's no biggie. When I was writing the scheduling/shower inquiry email I wondered if that was over the line, so I just wanted to make sure I hadn't broken protocol at all. The last thing I want to do is make a lady uncomfortable

Thanks again!

Right, you didn't appear to be worried about why she had not responded, just more concerned about proper protocol.  Which is Excellent, in and of itself!    

Especially since there was nothing listed on her site, as you now mention, about shower opportunities, you most definitely did not cross "the etiquette line".

You are Very Welcome!!

 

END OF MESSAGE

Thanks Tobi. I kind of figured that to be the case, but it can't hurt to be sure, right?

Thanks again!

Hi Alyson,

Yeah, I considered that. It's definitely a possibility. So I did send a follow up about 24 hours before the time I proposed for an appointment (which itself was 3 days after completing screening/verification.) No response from that either. Admittedly, I didn't follow up via phone or text... I figured better to avoid being a pest.

Like I said, I'd guess something like last minute travel or something else came up, and of course I wouldn't consider holding it against her. I was more just concerned that I had done something obviously wrong.

Thanks for your input!

If she is phone or text friendly try that. I have had two think it was me that disappeared because of lost emails. Just my. 02 worth