Chicago
I'm younger than you (26) and I kind of have similar issues in some ways. It sucked for me cause I felt I was way too young to have these problems (mine were worse...ED). Like you, this is relatively more recent... and I was in a long-term relationship. I tried counseling which was a complete waste of time to be honest. I seriously got two one-hour sessions of "You have to do things that make you happy...take up a new hobby (I should've tried this hobby!)." I highly recommend you don't bother with that if you were thinking about it.
I'm guessing, like me, you are mentally overwhelmed with it. I would be on the verge of panic attacks. My heart would be pounding out of my chest with anxiety. You may not be at that point, but I'm sure you are thinking about it too much, right? It's that damn mental aspect that is the hardest to overcome and it's the reason you are having the issues. It was the reason I was having issues.
With that being said, the first thing you need to do is find a way to be comfortable with it. The first step that worked for me was to confront it. At the time, I was in a relationship...one woman man, so she worked with me. As time progressed, the anxiety was completely gone. My first cup stamina wasn't to par, but at least I got the mental part out of the way (well... kinda... I guess I'll touch on that later). Somehow, from there... things still went awry and now I'm a single man enjoying myself, but I digress.
My suggestion to you is to tell anyone you meet about this (providers that is... not EVERYONE you meet). I bet they'd make you feel more than comfortable. If they go the extra mile and stroke your ego in some way, that one is a keeper. I find it much easier to perform when I feel she's getting off.
My second suggestion would be to work out. If you get in better shape... you have more endurance. On top of that, you naturally feel better about yourself and confident. Part of my issue was kind of my own insecurities.
Lastly, you may have to work out down there too. If you masturbate, you will have to tease yourself in a sense. Get to the point of no return and then stop... go completely flaccid. When you masturbate, it is important to do that, otherwise, you train your mind to get used to cumming quickly. Another exercise is to work the muscles down there too... the PC muscles. Look up Kegel exercises for men and you'll find some stuff.
You may not need to do all these things, but every little step helps. But sadly, I'll have to say there isn't going to be a quick solution here. This will take time. I'm somewhat in the process myself. My first cup is usually relatively quick. I'm normally pretty good at going for a while on the second, but sometimes I can be way too turned on by these hot women. I think I will heed my own advice a bit and tell the providers from now on that my first shot is hit or miss. I do find myself thinking about it. I know some people say you shouldn't care about the girl getting off in this hobby, but I do... and it makes it more enjoyable for me to at least think she did. Maybe if I can get rid of that little bit of insecurity, I can have a better first cup. 
Good luck man... feel free to ask any questions you may have.
Can you tell your ready to cum before it happens. If so change what your doing and please the lady. Another solution which I wouldn't suggest to anyone else is to masturbate a couple times just before your date. The hand motion might desensitize you a little which might be good.
Wish I had more info to help
Kisses Haley
I can tell when Im ready to cum or am close but it happens so fast I dont have time to stop her. I mean Ive cum sometimes after 20-30 second blowjobs !!
-- Modified on 1/16/2012 10:10:14 AM
that I never thought of growing "mutton chops" 
But you are correct in that some fellas equate their "output" to studliness.
But for many of the fellas...we don't care about that too much...especially if it involves blowing in the cover, or my fave in her mouth!
Perhaps the OP is suggesting that he would like to make a donation to a sperm bank?
I'm younger than you (26) and I kind of have similar issues in some ways. It sucked for me cause I felt I was way too young to have these problems (mine were worse...ED). Like you, this is relatively more recent... and I was in a long-term relationship. I tried counseling which was a complete waste of time to be honest. I seriously got two one-hour sessions of "You have to do things that make you happy...take up a new hobby (I should've tried this hobby!)." I highly recommend you don't bother with that if you were thinking about it.
I'm guessing, like me, you are mentally overwhelmed with it. I would be on the verge of panic attacks. My heart would be pounding out of my chest with anxiety. You may not be at that point, but I'm sure you are thinking about it too much, right? It's that damn mental aspect that is the hardest to overcome and it's the reason you are having the issues. It was the reason I was having issues.
With that being said, the first thing you need to do is find a way to be comfortable with it. The first step that worked for me was to confront it. At the time, I was in a relationship...one woman man, so she worked with me. As time progressed, the anxiety was completely gone. My first cup stamina wasn't to par, but at least I got the mental part out of the way (well... kinda... I guess I'll touch on that later). Somehow, from there... things still went awry and now I'm a single man enjoying myself, but I digress.
My suggestion to you is to tell anyone you meet about this (providers that is... not EVERYONE you meet). I bet they'd make you feel more than comfortable. If they go the extra mile and stroke your ego in some way, that one is a keeper. I find it much easier to perform when I feel she's getting off.
My second suggestion would be to work out. If you get in better shape... you have more endurance. On top of that, you naturally feel better about yourself and confident. Part of my issue was kind of my own insecurities.
Lastly, you may have to work out down there too. If you masturbate, you will have to tease yourself in a sense. Get to the point of no return and then stop... go completely flaccid. When you masturbate, it is important to do that, otherwise, you train your mind to get used to cumming quickly. Another exercise is to work the muscles down there too... the PC muscles. Look up Kegel exercises for men and you'll find some stuff.
You may not need to do all these things, but every little step helps. But sadly, I'll have to say there isn't going to be a quick solution here. This will take time. I'm somewhat in the process myself. My first cup is usually relatively quick. I'm normally pretty good at going for a while on the second, but sometimes I can be way too turned on by these hot women. I think I will heed my own advice a bit and tell the providers from now on that my first shot is hit or miss. I do find myself thinking about it. I know some people say you shouldn't care about the girl getting off in this hobby, but I do... and it makes it more enjoyable for me to at least think she did. Maybe if I can get rid of that little bit of insecurity, I can have a better first cup.
Good luck man... feel free to ask any questions you may have.