Here's a question.

Let's say a providor charges $x. (which is much higher than the typical rate).   This is someone you would probably see on a regular basis and refer people to - so you inquire in a very nice way if she has a different rate for regular, repeat customers.  Just a question - free to say yes or no.

She responds rudely. You tell her its simply a business question, no need to be offended.  My apologies if taken the wrong way.  Her response again is rude.  She writes in caps. Says never email me again.  

What are your thoughts?  I like TER b/c people get to know you, you can ask questions if you're respectful, and although everyone is having fun, its business.

Surprised that a local girl who doesn't have a lot of reviews wants to burn bridges here, but to each her own.  

most providers do find this to be rude.  Especially new providers who may be busy as hell because they are the flavor of the month.  While some will not find fault in asking so what's that harm.  The actual asking can cause bad future dates even if the provider continues to see you.  

My honest thoughts are that if you want to be seen in the best light possible with ladies you want to visit, do not ask for a discount unless one is being offered.   Most ladies will label you a cheapskate and save your # under something to that effect, you will hit VM more and more often and many calls going unanswered.

Sorry hun, but I am just trying to give you the honest low down on this.  There is a reason rates are non-negotiable is written on most sites.  If it is not written you MIGHT have a chance, but even then it is slim.

The only other thing I can see maybe is if you are a long time regular visiting at least 1x per month for at least 6 or more months, then you might be comfy enough to discuss something like this but always in person and after the high light is over in case offense is taken(it will zap the sexy right out of her from the get go if it is part of the begining conversation).

You have to keep in mind that though you might not see any harm in asking, her perception might be that you don't think she is worth her rate which is HUGELY insulting and very likely will ruin  your chances on future dates.

Sorry this is so long and drawn out but I am tired(bad sleep last night, too hot) and can't remember what points I already hit.  I need a nap!

or in the very least no response at all! I'm sure you've seen the phrase "rates are non-negotiable" at some point in this hobby. I'm not sure if her site/ads did in fact state this...but per her response I would think it did (or should).

If the question had been phrased in a different way- you may have gotten a better response. If you're willing to commit to seeing a lady 4x a month and paying her upfront in the beginning of the month you may get a lady to negotiate. This is what a retainer fee is for. You're prepaying her so she knows she can count on $x/month. This is awesome and worth negotiating, IMHO. Not all ladies will entertain offers for a retainer, but I am certainly happy to. But only with gentleman I've met previously.

As for referring people to her- I'm at a loss to understand how that would be seen as a plus for any provider? Or even how you would go about doing that? Are you an agency? Are these "gentleman" actually going to book time with her? Doesn't seem likely to me that this would totally work out in her favor and thus a gamble and not worth a dime.

While you are free to ask, some questions are insulting and it sounds like that is how she felt. If someone emails me and tries to negotiate- I simply assume that they don't think my services are worth my asking price. And in that case...we are not compatible. There are plenty of gentleman who find that my services are quite worth it and I'll just stick with those lovely gents- thanks

Hope all this info helps for next time....

XoXo,

Veronica Sweets

she isn't interested at this moment to give you a discount.  That would be obvious given your example.

There are several ways to view the discounting that goes on in this "hobby".

Guys who think this is a "flea market" and will ONLY see a lady if he is given a deal.

Guys who will never, ever, ever ask for or expect (and they wouldn't get one either) a discount because they are too much the gentlemen.

And those that will venture into the unknown.  Those guys (and for the purpose of your example let's assume you have seen GirlX a total of 5 times now) who have a real affinity for the lady and want to make this a frequent stop.  In this case asking for a "regulars rate" is, IMHO, not a problem.  The lady will have a decision to make (and in your case she told you NO), and if she has open availability will/can consider your suggestion.  She isn't burning a bridge here (as you suggest), but has plenty of full paying customers now that she needn't offer a discount to pay her rent this month.  You can certainly circle back later on and see "how she's doing" and if the rent is due and things are tight...well, you do the math!  And as Sage suggested, you might end up with that DNS on your forehead...but IMHO that is probably a risk I would take (and have).

The gals post on their sites absolutely NO discounts...But you have been around long enough to know (and for a first date I wouldn't ever consider this an option) that there is plenty of discounting going on.  It isn't ever discussed openly (as far as specifics as each situation is different), but what goes on behind closed doors...should stay there (meaning be a class guy and keep your mouth shut if indeed you and that lady work out something that you are happy with)!

Don't sweat it.  You asked a simple question.  If she finds it rude, so be it... its never going to stop it from being asked.  Move on to the next girl because this one just made your selection process easier.

VS...I agree with most of your post, and understand that, in some cases an advance fee might work.  But...this has been a topic that has been discussed numerous times and generally the public discussions regard the payment in advance and the non-performance, or flat out absconding with those fees.

I, for one would never...I repeat NEVER pay for yours (or any ladies) services in advance.  Too many chances for bad things to happen, for both sides of that envelope.

I would suggest from the OP that he is looking to tell GirlX that he would commit to XX times a month at XXX per month.  How would she know he would follow through...she wouldn't and would have to trust her instincts to value this offer.  If he had seen you 5 times and you got the impression he would deliver on his commitment, you (or any other lady) might give it a shot and until he doesn't deliver, it may be a good deal for both of you.  Once he defaults, you move on and forget about him (as I would guess he has already done to the lady).

But only you (or any lady) can make that determination.  And as I posted earlier, each situation will stand on its own merit.

I dont see it. If you like someone give them their "rate" she will always see , you answer you treat you well, once ppl get into the discount coupon catergory, it usually turns ugly. Every guy claims to be a 'GOOD' regular if you give a lower rate, but they dont. it just ends up a waste of time'

Have to disagree with you on this one CPA. Never ask for any type of discounted rate. Only the provider can offer a discount. I also wouldn't negotiate any type of monthly rate. If a hobbyist is interested in such an arrangement, he can certainly ask the provider about the arrangement but he should not suggest a rate. It's not our place to judge a provider's worth, only she can do that. If you don't like the rate, you're free to decline.

Consider your own salary at work. Wouldn't you be insulted if your company tried to lower your pay? This has been happening a lot lately and many of us are forced to accept a pay cut to retain our jobs. But let's face it, we resent the company for devaluing our worth and we typically return the favor by not working as hard. When we get the chance, we jump ship which is exactly what the provider will do to the hobbyist as soon as she gets a better offer.

Yes, you do make a very valid point. There is risk in non-compliance that can happen on both ends with a retainer deal. There are creative ways to try and minimize loss- such as 1/2 at the beginning of the month and the other 1/2 midway thru the month or something like that. But honestly, these types of arrangements should only be made when both parties are comfortable and trust each other.

It saddens me that either party would enter into a deal and not follow thru with their end. I'm big on sticking by my word. But that's just me. I know there have been many stories about ladies and gents not following thru.

In a perfect world....

XoXo,

Veronica Sweets

Funny how the girls are so pro-providor on this and the men (even the ones sending private emails) think that the mere inquiring is simply a question..

No one has really addressed the real issue - Nothing excuses being a total bitch about it.

As one guy put it here - you saved a waste of money with her.  I agree.  My response to people with thin skin who can't discuss an issue like an adult is fuck you and have a nice day!

...  Thanks to our girlfriends though for weighing in!  Always good to hear from the classy women in the biz who have a brain as well as a body, and can discuss something.   Interesting to hear people's thoughts.

Have a safe 4th!!

Why did you assume that her business needed help from you?  You assumed that since she has few reviews, that business is slow.  You tried to use this as an advantage when asking for a discount.  And you expected her to reply in a courteous manner?  The fact is you shouldn't have asked the question in the first place.  Discussing rates is not viewed kindly by providers when it comes to first time clients.  They might think you're LE or just some cheapskate.  Plus, if you continue to press the issue, the response from them will not be kind.

If you want to continue to haggle, that's fine.  Just be prepared for the consequences.

How is a lady to know your not just looking for a quick one time discount? If you invest the time and initial $ to see her you deserve to be heard after 1 or 2 appts. For a new client to ask is considered rude/bargaining...especially if it states clearly on her ad or website NOT to do that.

Now as far as her response- it looks like you brought out the "less than best of her" and moving on is the best for both of you.

Xoxo
VC

I own the business and have had many offers on discounted rates over the years.  Some I agreed to, others I dismissed.  Each time there were options that I needed to decide if they were "good for me", and if so I would go with it.

The discussion here is that the "ladies" give off that "don't dare question my rates", and the OP did broach the issue with his gal pal.  While I may not like someones offer, I wouldn't be belligerent in a reply, simply tell them NO and move on.  As I stated in my post there are typically three types of guys here.  You feel that to ever ask for a discount is not something you would do, and that is certainly your perogative.  But if the OP, myself or others seek to inquire if a gal is interested in a different rate structure, that is also our perogative.  And as I commented, along with others, some of the ladies will go bonkers over the suggestion.  And that is fine, as there are plenty of fish in the sea.  

As you discuss "It's not our place to judge a provider's worth, only she can do that", I also don't subscribe to that theory.  Anyone can put a value out there for their time (and that is all we are paying for...right?). But I have worked with and for so many high priced professionals that have seriously skewed hourly rates, that I have NO issues seeking "the best deal" I can negotiate.  And this topic has been discussed many times on the boards as to "negotiation".

We can certainly agree to disagree on this topic.  And I trust this topic will resurface at least 10 more times this year..and who knows how many times next year..and so on.  And there will NEVER be an agreement on it.

But as VS says:

"In a perfect world"

I would assume that the responses you received (via PM) fall into the categories that I defined earlier.  That is what I would have expected as peoples opinions are like assholes...everyone has one!

Being the lady was obnoxious in her response to you, I hope that you heard her loud and clear.  

When I have broached this topic the ladies were receptive to the suggestions, and a dialogue would at least ensue.  If a gal simply "dissed" me as your gal seems to have, that is the cue to very quickly move on and not look back.  

I also will add that the gals who look at this on a long-term agenda do seem to be more receptive to conisdering a "fixed income" structure.  Those that need that $$$ today, not so much!

If his initial inquiry was one of asking for "discounts" then I can certainly understand your replies (and maybe you should have just ignored the issues rather than entertain the requests as anything close to serious).

The impression I got from the OP was "is asking for a discount inappropriate"?  And in response to that the gals are quite uniform in their replies (and understandably so).  As the thread continued the discussion touched on longer term arrangements.  Clearly by your post that was NOT something that was discussed (even tho the OP was "offering" you an option to discuss this arrangement).  But with NO history with you, it would be presumptuous that this LTR is even a possibility.

This would equate, from my perspective as the guy/gal who just calls me for a price on a one time tax return (and simply shopping me against others).  I generally ignore those request as I, just as you, have a particular type of clientele I am seeking.  And the wranglers on one shot deals is NOT that client.

And I can see by your reviews, as well as rumors that I have heard, you are a "very nice person".

This is not to be construed as a "shill post"

That there are three sides to every story.  And now we at least have two..and if AM wanted to post the detailed PM's we probably would have the whole story!

But I would think that many of us do agree that an initial inquiry should NOT be "how cheap are you"?

And I think some of us (ladies excluded) think that after a number of dates (say 5 for example) that a "regulars rate" may come into play!

And I think ALL of us are here for the same reasons...just enjoy each other and have fun

But I hope that NONE of us are here to dehumanize anybody

No, don't send out any part of that conversation Ashley, we all know how it went and we know you were offended. It's pretty cool of you to come out and admit it was you and I'm sure no one will hold it against you.

But... if Magnum asked politely, you might have answered with a polite no and ended the emails. We get that his request offended you but being professional sometimes mean being nice when you're really fuming. It sounds like this happens to you a lot and you're sick of it.

I would never mention you by name, but I assume you were afraid I was going to tell someone your name.  I did not, even in private, and anyone will tell you that.

My post was to get an open discussion and see what people think.  We're all "friends" here.  Its just a general topic - it was never outing anyone.

The only thing I asked you was if you were interested in working something out.  I complimented you on your photos, mentioned that the girls on your site all have different rates, and said we probably got off to a misunderstanding.  I asked to see you and your friends for whatever rate you have..

I was never rude to you, but regardless, if i offended you I certainly apologize, and hope we can get together sometime for some make-up time?

Perhaps we both could have handled that better.

If we do, I'm sure they want to hear about it!!  Happy 4th everyone!

Good luck with that, personally I think you have been tagged and not in a good way...  You and I quote:

"No one has really addressed the real issue - Nothing excuses being a total bitch about it.

As one guy put it here - you saved a waste of money with her.  I agree.  My response to people with thin skin who can't discuss an issue like an adult is fuck you and have a nice day!"

and bring ALL of THIS drama to the board and still think you have a chance even at full rate?  You have got to be kidding, and good luck with that.  Dude, you know that saying that mom's always used back in the day "Biting of his nose to spite his face"  All you!

Good luck with your future hobbying, many other ladys may have now tagged you as well.  Drama is not a desired trait in a guest and we get to choose just as you get to choose.  

Later, Sage

I just posed a question to see how people felt.

I did not and would not disclose who I was talking about.  I have a very good relationship with people I see.

and I don't hide beihind alias names either.  It was a fair, legitimate question.  The Board is for discussion, and you're judging me for my view of thinsg when you didn't even have the whole story.

Since she decided to chime in, I looked at her viewpoint of it, tried to see her point of view, and apologized on my end to her personally.  But I was never rude or disrespectful in our emails.  

If you or anyone else uses this as a way to "tag" people negatively you've never even met before, just for having an open discussion, then I feel you're abusing the system.  Reviews and "tagging" (slandering) should be between people who have actually seen each other.  

How would you feel if men who you've never seen give you a bad review based upon a discussion you have on a Board when you dont mention names?  They wouldn't even allow such a review.

Good points all around.

Neither of us should be taking it personally.  I of course would never have told anyone who I was speaking about...  but since she came to the discussion, I apologized on my end for anything that would have been taken as offensive.

Your post asked honest questions and there was nothing wrong with it.

Some hookers just take exception to hobbyists making their rates a subject of discussion.

Carry on.

Yes, its supposed to be fun.  Thanks for writing back.  You have a deal on those terms!  

We probably caught each other on a bad day, but I do look forward to seeing you someime for your 3600 seconds!

...  The sad part is - there seem to be some other vindictive girls on here who now feel the need to talk behind my back, and threaten to slander me.  (You know who you are).  People I have never met. -- which goes against everything you're supposed to do on this Board.

If people cannot speak their mind here without certain girls retaliating, no one is going to speak freely.  

Ashley and I seem to be cool with this, so its none of the others' business.

We all make judgments on who we would or would not be a fit for based on discussion  posts, that is what the board is actually for.  Determining if someone is a fit for you based on their writings.  Me a drama queen?  LOL, I have the least drama in my life because I do not play that way.  Things are or are not.

However I do not tolerate badmouthing a provider because she didn't go for whatever you wanted.  Sorry, not ok.  I am done, this has taken enough of my time and I have so much better things to do right now.

but I do have something to add.  Contacting a lady you have never met before, offering to become a regular and also referring people to her, and asking for a discount is in very poor taste.  

First, every lady has received an email (at one point or another) from someone with this same offer.  I am not saying this is the case in your specific scenario, but it seldom works out the way it is presented.  In truth, most guys who write these emails are simply approaching someone they cannot afford and are trying to negotiate a discount.  

Also why would someone consider this?  Especially if they have not met the lady in question.  Who knows, you may not hit it off.  It does happen.  She could be everything that she says she is, but she may not like you or vice versa.  

The best scenario is to see a lady a few times.  Let her know you are legitimate.  If the two of you hit it off, ask her then if you can see her more frequently for a lesser rate.  She may be amenable.  Or, be prepared if she tells you her dance card is full and she cannot discount even with the higher frequency of visits.

Just my opinion...  Don't take offense.  However, I think this was handled wrong from the start and the lady was insulted by your initial contact.  Especially, if as she says, she states emphatically on her website that she does not discount.