Hilarious story! Thanks for sharing.
Here's mine:
One time I had a new client. He came over and I showed him to the playroom. Once we were in the room, I told him to make himself comfortable and that I would be back in a moment. Upon returning, I found him to be ready to play and I got comfortable and joined him on the bed. About 20 minutes into the session I stopped and said to him "Do you smell something?". He said yes which prompted me to get up and investigate where the smell was coming from. After a moment of looking all over, I looked over at my dresser realizing I had several lit candles that were no longer visible.
I quickly realized my client had carefully placed his clothing on the dresser and on top of the lit candles! I rushed across the room and lifted the clothes off of the candles and blew the one remaining fire out. Upon closer inspection, I could see where a rather large sized hole was burned into his expensive looking slacks. To this day, I can't remember how we proceded but I know there was a happy ending of course    When he got dressed, he had a white shirt that he tucked in before putting his suit jacket on and you could see the big hole in the back of his pants (They were dark blue) so clearly with the white shirt underneath...lol.
Side note:
Recently I had a reference request for this client. he told the provider that I would remember him as the guy whose pant I burned...lol. Funny how we remember things...lol....or maybe it is funny we we forget...

Hey Great story.. but ... um... so she was not your scheduled date? but was still a working girl?

If not your original date, what happened to her?  Did you tell her what happened?    

And HELL!, you are 'da man!'... picking up chicks at will!!  

Almost everyone in the hobby has had someting humorous happen to them, either at an appointment or travelling to or from one.  I thought it might be fun if some of us shared these experiences.  Lets try to keep the stories light hearted and not mean or malicious.  Just good clean fun.

I'll start...

I had an appointment at a downtown hotel with a gentleman I had never met who was celebrating his birthday.  The hotel he was staying at had a club floor and he happened to be on it.  For those of you who don't know what a club floor is, its a floor for V.i.P.s (frequent guests, etc.) that can only be accessed via key card by the guest.  The often also have other perks (a happy hour, breakfast, evening appetizers) for guests on this floor.

Since it was my client's birthday, I thought it would be fun to bring some whipped cream in a can, to spray on my chest like a birthday cake.  I put the can of whipped cream into a computer bag and took it with me.  I also brought along a book, a sexy outfit and a few other items in the case as I would have to wait in ta busy hotel lobby for my client to come and get me.  I wanted to make sure I had something to keep me occupied should I arrive early or if the client was running late.

The client was running late, havin just returned to the hotel and was taking a quick shower.  So I started reading my book.  I began to hear a "shooosh" noise.  I looked around and could not determine where it was coming from.  So I returned to my book.  The noise continued, but I figured whatever it was, it was not important.

After a bit, I looked down at my watch to check the time.  Then I looked down at my bag and noticed that I had left the top zipper open about a quarter of an inch.  Whipped cream was starting to come out of the bag.  I quickly zipped it shut, and tried to rearrange the bag's contents from the outside, not daring to open it to do so, and in order to stop the whipped cream from spraying.  It took some doing as this was a hard side case, but I was finally able to make it quit and I returned to my book.

My client came down and I picked up my bag to head up to the room with him.  If you guessed that the can began to spray again, you are correct.  As we got into the crowded elevator (my luck, a big meeting was being held at this hotel), I could see the other passengers looking around (like I did in the lobby) trying to see where the "shooosh" sound was coming from.  Of course, I joined in and pretended to look around also.  Even with the zipper shut, I could see white starting to buildup on the zipper and was worried that it would start leaking out.   As we stopped on every floor, waiting for ours, the whipped cream was starting to come out from between the zipper teeth.  Thankfully we arrived on our floor and we went to the client's room.  I ran for the bathroom explaining to my client how I had brought whipped cream in my bag for his birthday and about the malfunction.  I put the case into the tub and opened it as whipped cream poured out of it.  Needless to say, I wound up having to wash the sexy nightgown I had planned to wear in his sink with his shampoo as it was soaked with whipped cream.  The remainder of the supplies I had carried all had to be washed off.  The whole inside of the suitcase had to be thoroughly wiped out.

As we were cleaning up my things, we had an unplanned whipped cream fight, smearing some of it on each other's faces and licking it off one another.  Also, thankfully, there was still enough whipped cream in the can for me to cover my chest and he was able to lick the candles.

I saw the client several more times before he took another job that did not require travel to Chicago and each time we saw each other the whipped cream birthday surprise was mentioned and laughed about.

Does anyone else have a humorous story they would like to share.

When I first ventured into the hobby I was mainly getting massages at Asian apartments.  On one occasion I was shown to the massage room, paid my fee, was told to get undressed and comfortable, and then the lady left the room.  So I get undress, hop onto the bed face down and wait for her to return.  I waited about 5 minutes and she still hadn't come back.  I said something like "I'm ready whenever you are", but no response.  So I wait a couple more minutes, finally get up and walk down the hall to the living room area to let her know that I'm ready.  I find her laying on the couch sound asleep.  Not knowing what to do, I gently tapped her, and she awoke with a startled look on her face.  I probably scared the hell out of the poor lady.  She quickly realized who I was and profusely apologized.  I asked if she would prefer that I leave and she said no and led me back to the massage room and commenced with the appointment.  At the time it was somewhat amusing, but it also opened me up to the possibility that the lady was being overworked and maybe even trafficked.

My very first appointment. I was absolutely scared to death. The lady called and confirmed and told me that last night she had changed her hair color, I should look for a brunette with a shoulder length hair cut, hair parted on the side.

I arrive at the hotels bar area as agreed, about 15 minutes early. This place was filled with beautiful women and I quickly found my seat next to this gorgeous brunette. We started off with the obligatory hellos and small talk after we had finished our second drink I asked her if she wanted to go up stairs now. Relax she told me, the night is young and I'm in no hurry. Great I thought so I offered to buy dinner for which she agreed.

After dinner we had another drink and she nods to me and says, let's go upstairs for desert. Again, the fear pours into my veins and I cooly nod in agreement and we make our way to the elevators. Upon getting to her room, she resigns herself to the bathroom and I get undressed and ready for the party.

After the fireworks she rolls over towards the nightstand, looks, and seems concerned. "Whats this envelope for she asks". Fear immediately takes hold again and I said, you know, as we discussed before. She never opened it, rolls back over and says honey, I have no idea who you are but I'll be back in Chicago in two weeks. Here's my card and let's meet for dinner and drinks again, and if you want to pay me to have sex with you again, I'm all for it.

Of course I was completely amazed, never knew her name until I got that business card and joined TER a week later.

Saw her for three years on and off and she was the coolest lady you could ever meet. We laughed every time after that about the envelope.

Ok, this one goes back about five or so years and my first attempt at this hobby. I had never heard of TER. I found a website for an agency here in the area, and saw a picture I liked so I called and set an appointment. Was shocked that there were actually web sites you could google and order up an escort. God bless the internet!

Girl that shows up is not the girl in the photo, but is attractive. So I went through with it and had a good time. She was obviously the girl in a different photo on the site.

3 months later I call the same agency, ask for a different (3rd different name)girl. No problem, appointment set.  Who shows up? Yep the same girl as the first time.

Ok, so a couple months later I make a third call, this time using a different website that I found. Well it turns out this same company runs both websites. They were similarly named. I order up another meeting, and I'll be damned if the same girl doesn't show up at my door again.

We had a good laugh, but I stopped hobbying after that until I found TER. Figured there was only one real escort in the whole damned town.

A few years ago, I was vacationing in Las Vegas with one of my favorite providers and someone removed the "Do Not Disturb" sign from our door during the night.  Well, when morning arrived, we were going at it like bunny rabbits when all of a sudden we hear the door to our room open.  Apparently, we didn't hear housekeeping knocking on our door, so when the lady walked into our bedroom, she really got an "eye full".  I think we almost gave the poor lady a heart attack ...LOL.

Needless to say, the expression on her face was priceless ....LOL ...and then she made a quick exit from our room as she was apologizing.  We told her, no problem and invite her to stay and join in on the fun, but of course, she declined ...LOL.

When we happened to see her later that day, we went over to say hello and she look rather embarrassed ...but we all had good laugh together in the end.

I probably have more but can only think of three:

1.  My incall was lit with tealight candles by the bed and, well, all over the place but the point of craziness centers around the bedside table.  My hobby friend and I were doing friendly positions which consisted of moving about and being passionate; so much so, that his ass caught on fire and we had to end our session picking wax off of his, uh, asshair.  Oh yeah, he also knocked over the candles and messed up the mini-blinds.  Yes, you know who you are and I'm not naming names but man was that fucking hilarious!!!!

2.  This one wasn't that funny as the hobbyist friend, a different one, set my donation right next to a candle and as I was totally in the mood and into it and he was like, "Oh My God!" and I just assumed it was chemistry and he was going to, uh, you know  Instead, he's pointing at the donation - ON FIRE!!!!  So we are both naked and blowing on gifts.  Not the "hottest" experience.

3.  One outcall I met my date for a drink in the restaurant.  I believe we had too much chemistry because I decided to go down on him while in the elevator and an older couple saw us after the DING of the elevator opening up on a different floor.  That one wasn't so much funny as embarrassing and stupid.  Oh well, maybe it gave them a little ooomph for their love life that night

XXX-Giselle

A few years ago, I was with my ATF out in the SW suburbs. We were in the middle of our session when there was a knock on the door. We told them to go away, but the person at the door replied that he was with the FIRE DEPARTMENT and he was there to inspect the smoke detectors. My friend had to get out of bed, go to the door, and explain to the nice fireman that we were having some fun and could he come back once he had inspected the other rooms. Fortunately, he did not insist in coming in then and there, but it certainly put a damper on a fun session.

I can't say you will think it funny, but every time I think about it I'm LOL. Once a few years back a young female African American woman contacted me about setting up an appointment. Now , I was apprehensive as well as taken aback because this is a rare request and she was only 21 yo. Well this Young Virgo lady had done her homework and was very easy to verify , so I had no excuses. When we met she was very complimentary , u look so nice in that lingerie, Ebonique. Well after gettin to know each other a little, we relaxed with each other and she took out a personal toy of hers and asked would I like to try it. Who am I to deny such a request? Well she takes out these shiny balls with a string and vibrator attached. And she asks can she please show me how it works? At this point i'm very curious and YES! never had them yet. Well she puts the one ball in and i'm gettin unbelievably hot and these she puts the other one in , and im on my way now for sure. Well to make a long story short, she teased me for a good 45 minutes with those balls and I had the most unbelievable climaxx ! When she finished with me I was WEAK IN THE KNEES and breathless !  Everytime I think of her I LMAO  because I still cant believe a young 21 yo woman did that to me. BTW, I was still in my 29th year AGAIN!