The one thing I think gentleman need to remember is that the clit has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, so it is incredibly sensitive. And mine in particular is quite tiny..so it's even more sensitive. So, if you go from zero to sixty with speed and pressure, it's too much sensation. Start of slow and gentle, and crescendo up to the faster tongue flicks and more direct pressure. And that doesn't mean that you have to be down there for a half an hour...I mean, if you want to be, I won't stop you
. But if you start with just a few teasing licks, kisses, etc, that makes the experience immensely more pleasurable.
Also, I can't speak for every woman, but I do not like having my clit sucked. Again, it's just too much sensation for me to handle most of the time.
But a lot of times, I think DATY really varies immensely from woman to woman. I saw someone the other day who was saying that his ex told him that he was terrible at DATY, but he totally rocked my world. Maybe he learned something in the interim, or perhaps there was something about his tongue and technique that didn't work for her, but worked for me. Or maybe she was just being mean. Either way, not all women like the exact same thing.
So, as other ladies have stated here, listen to feedback and pay attention to body language. It's not a one size fits all activity