I have read quite a bit of buzz lately regarding the etiquette of Hobbyists and Providers. I think it may be beneficial to see it in black and white in on post.

The question on the table is regarding etiquette. I have heard about Providers having bad etiquette.  

Examples from Hobbyists:
She does not list her rates nor has a website so this forces me to ask.
She is not punctual for our date.
I've called repeatedly at the agreed time and location and she does not answer.
She does not mention in her ad or website that she will not see men of certain races (this one has happened to me personally)  
She upsells (always a Hobbyist favorite)
She counts the donation after saying "go ahead and get comfortable"
She answers her phone during our date.  
The incall is not clean or the incall is clean but the bathroom is not
She is not clean (this one has weight with both Hobbyists and Providers)
She asks me to hurry up and finish (believe it or not it has happened)
She clock watches.

Examples from Providers:
He ask me my rates or services when they are listed in my post or website
He calls me earlier than the agreed upon time.  
He is late for the agreed upon time without a heads up.
He makes me ask him for the donation.
The donation is not the agreed upon amount (a Provider Favorite)
He is not clean or smells and does not want to freshen up.
He is not discreet about my incall.
He never showed up and does not answer calls or emails.
His place is not clean
He is intoxicated
He tells me upon entering that he can only stay for (less time) than we originally agreed.
He asks for services that I mention in my site or ad that I do not provide.  

These are just a few examples from both sides. I'm sure there are more examples of bad etiquette please share yours. Is it just inevitable that we all are gonna experience some of this as we get our feet wet? Who has the worst etiquette, Providers or Hobbyists?  Is there a learning curve or is a lot of this common sense? Please share.

Tells me she's ready and to come up and then takes forever to answer the door....the perception of time is relative and in that moment 15 seconds is an eternity
Asks me if I have protection - only happened once but this is patently ridiculous, my accountant doesn't ask if I have a calculator
No response to e-mail request for appointment even when I provide verification info - I just exposed my identity to you, the least you can do is send a short "not available" response...many do, the professional ones, but this has happened with stunning frequency, to the point where I now only note that I have verification, I don't provide it until I get a response.  If you don't need my business that's perfectly fine, no hard feelings, but I'm uncomfortable with my info going into a black hole.
Related to clock watching but worse: sending clear signals the date is over (like getting dressed) when we're only halfway in and multiple pops are on the menu...I'm not running orgasm software, sometimes I'm able to go a long time and it's one and done, but sometimes the first cup is quick and another is right around the corner.  I'm guaranteed not to repeat in this situation.

And when you confirm , they cannot proceed.

Another good one is the ones who write and claim they have been wanting to see her for a long time but never set anything up because ( according to him) funds are tight followed by new reviews  !

It's happened twice to me during my Newbies stage.

Scheduled an appointment and arrived at the location, called and sent a text with no reply. With the last text reading, hope everything is ok?

I understand that life happens and anything can be explained.  

The first time it was, we rescheduled and have had many great times together, but the second time which happened every recently, in my onion there's no excuse. After being verified and setting up a time and given the location there was no further communication.  Im sure she's ok because she has posted several adds since.  The hour drive one way is my problem.. And yes I'm sure there's an explanation.. LOL

Are you talking a case of a provider or a client cancelling?  If it is the latter, the idea that funds are tight can easily be a valid excuse as most of us have other responsibilities we have to deal with first.  And, let's face it, this hobby is NOT cheap, except maybe for someone really rich for whom three or four hundred dollars may just be chump change.  But the smarter thing to do would be to let the other party know at least two days in advance if possible.

Was going to start a new thread for this, but what is the usual practice when it comes to regulars(say, three months or less) keeping in contact between sessions.  I am not too experienced with this but have noticed that most providers do not care so much for pre or post-session chitchat.  What do you think is going on here/

Let her know that you definitely would like to repeat after your session. Let her know you had a really good time is usually all it takes and write a good review. If she is personable and wants to get to know her gentlemen friends then she should wanna chat with you. Otherwise, find yourself a GFE provider. The lady you are seeing may not mesh well with your personality. Sometimes that does happen when people are different. Hope that helps.

sometimes a  client  may practice   lack of  discretion / confidentiality....


-- Modified on 10/19/2013 7:46:44 AM

I purposely turned it off on my phone after having issues with a wife booking an appt w/me via text(evidently his wife got his phone and he hadn't erased his texts) and then calling me up asking me why I was setting up dates with her husband.  Since I can't be 100% sure who is on the other end during a text I turned off texts so I don't get them.  If you text it does you no good.  I have had issues with guests canceling via text after I ask them to call if anything changes and I just wonder where call turns into text.  I love you all men but I am old school and want a voice, plus it takes less time

and then there are the ones who seem to want to talk about setting up an appt more then actually setting one up.  I love to converse but when we have exchanged more then 60 messages in a span of a few days, then I don't hears from you for 6mo and then it is the same 60 or so messages and you drop contact still not setting something up that is just too much.   Not to be bitchy but why?  Especially since it starts to give a girl a serious complex

with those I see more often.  It is the ones who never visit that bother me.

then when the time comes to get together instead of calling they do nothing and when the call is made to them is when the discovery is made. I understand that life does happen and it does get in the way  
but sometimes its nicer to hear from someone when they know they can't  keep the appointment.

Angela

For me, I had to learn my way as I went along, and thankfully to reviews - I did.  

You said in your hobbiest liest that it is rude when the provider counts the donation in front of you. I have never done this. and I usually don't cound it at all when I get outside. Because I don't like to pick it up and bring it into the bathroom or anything like that. So the other day I had a call. ANd It went fine. In the first few minutes he put envelope in my purse. The session goes on. I go home. In the cab I see that my donation is 100 short and he didn't provide my outcall fee. So therefore I paid 120$ in cabs (I have no license) for him to short me 175. I meantioned it to another provider and she said oh girl you must always count it up front. But I feel like that is extremely rude. So I never had. And again I have never had an issue being shorted before. My website startes everything very clearly and I am willing to clarify if necassary. So I email the guy and he says he didn't see myd onation and he was sorry he'd make it up to me on his next trip here. Hm . When could that be? I'm guessing never. So now- I don't kno w what to do. Do I count it and figure out well if that bothers him. Or not count it and risk getting shorted again.  

All of the other "hobbiest" exampls are things that are totally understandable and that I never do.  

As far as the provider list. The asking for the donation thing really bothers me. Because I prefer to have to verbalize the $ part as much as possible. The rest are agreeable too, but I don't find happen to me very much.  

How about for the provider lilst:

Guys who seem to think we sit around waiting for an appointment. That at each and every moment we are ready to go and they should be able to come right NOW.

What was your screening process for that guy? First lady I met counted in front of me which I didn't mind because she was taking a chance just meeting me.

So disrespectful and misogynistic, I'll bet he thinks he's clever for having gotten over on you...what a douche.  Regarding your addition to the list, good one...personally I think response within 24 hours is great, I certainly never expect immediate response or immediate availability and I'm surprised anyone does, frankly that would make me think they have some trouble separating fantasy from reality.

By the way - I wasn't able to edit my original post. What I meant to say is that I prefer NOT to verabalize the donation as much as possible.  

 
As far as counting it in front of him - I still don't think I'll ever be able to do it. I just think it is tacky. The guy who shorted me was varified through employment because he said this was his "first time". And I really do try to be newbie friendly, but its when things like that happen that I really consider to be newbie UNFRIENDLY. He claims he'll make it up to me... We'll see. He also said that my donations weren't clear on my site - So I made a complete list with all the break downs in a graph format. That was no one will ever be able to blame it on me again. Another provider tells me to just count it. But I just can't bring myself to do it. But I think next time. I am going to turn around and knock and his door and say ummm.. you know you didn't pay me my full rate. What do you think about that ? Would that be more rude?

And you would be very surprised how many guys want to come right now. It happens to me almost daily. And I mean there are sometimes that I can accomodate last minute requests. BUT you have to have your verification information READY to go immediatly, and preferbly have it be rs2k because who knows how long it will take another provider to get back to me. And I mean - yes I have an "open" schedule because providing and modeling are my only "jobs" but that doesn't mean I don't have family, friends, other interests, and simply need time to get beautiful for you. But lately - it has been a lot better for me. I found that when I went from charging 250/hr to 400/hr the quality of my clients changed significantly, and for that I am so grateful.  

xo
J

just be truthful

What does that even mean?

Companionship as a primary (or even sole) occupation in no way means that one is obliged to see more patron in a day. In fact, long before I started running a vanilla business and doing additional contract work in another field, companionship was my sole form of income for 3 years. Never once did I see more than one gentleman a day, and a typical week involved 3-4 dates (now it's even less, due to my own time constraints).

If a lady is smart with her money, and furthermore is able to find the right friends who value longer connections, any more than this is entirely unnecessary. Why the assumptions on an end of companionship you clearly know nothing about?

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=16562&boardID=70&page=9#16562

My two cents.  First time count, even if you have excuse yourself and do it in the bathroom.

For regulars, and I am sure this is stating the obvious, one would think you would not need to do so.  

Guy who stiffed you was Putz.  No other way to put it

I have shorted a provider twice, and it was the same lady.  An ATF for a long time.  Absolutely a mistake on my part and embarrassing as hell.  I'd had two groups of bills folded in my pocket and given her the wrong one.  She chased me down in the parking lot and I was glad she did.  I think the second time she called me and I turned around and drove back.  Now I always count it carefully and put it in an envelope in advance.

Also, I always use large bills so it's easier for her to count.

As a hobbyist I'm fine with providers counting the money and I'm a little surprised when they don't. I feel like she's giving me something important that I'm missing in the rest of my life, and I am personally grateful. I think she earns every dollar and honestly I don't want her to be shortchanged, inadvertently by me or purposefully by someone else. I understand that she wouldn't give me a second look if there was no money involved and although I'm far from rich, I'm happy for her to have it.

I guess that's a roundabout way of saying I don't think it's rude at all.

I had visited before and they just didn't pay.  Made me change my ways with newer guests and I watch for the nerves...