I don't post often and am only a lurker,  so my apologies if I have missed a discussion (I have looked, but not deeply) on this.

I'm looking for a girl with a certain attitude / technique to get together with semi-regularly.  I am married but my wife has no issue with occasional "R&R" sessions.  I love my wife very much but we have always agreed that sex and love are separate things... since I have all the love I could want, I approach the hobby somewhat in search of a "friend with costs and benefits", where I contribute money in exchange for a certain kind of companionship over a period of time.  I have similar relationships (in terms of both friendly and commercial, not sex) with my housekeeper, catsitter, massage therapist, etc.  I really care about enjoying the people who learn things about my private life.  Thus I like a little bit of "friend" mixed in.

Without going into details (though I can do that if anyone thinks that's relevant--and I'm not looking for anything exotic here, just a certain chemistry), would it be tacky or insensitive to show a girl a video clip as a demonstration of sorts?  I feel like some girls would really feel objectified by that, and I don't want that at all.  But it's not hard for me to find a perfect "performance" of what I have trouble describing.  So really I'm jusy trying to better communicate what I'm looking for as a client--what would make a happy repeat customer.  But it's very important to me that the girl be ok with that and understand my intent, so I'm asking the provider community at large, what would you think?   Assuming it was presented and discussed in the right way?

Thanks for any thoughts/responses/questions/comments--including from hobbyists.

that Your wife is so open minded....Good for her...and Great for You...if You know what You want...and the Best way to describe it is with a Video...why Not...then everyone knows exactly what the expectations are...afterall Communication is the key to Fun...why don't You check out my website and read my reviews...maybe I am the kind of Woman You are looking for...if Not...I wish You nothing but the Best/Happiness in Your Life and I hope You find the perfect Provider for You

I would think a sincere and courteous attempt at communication would be welcomed by most.  When there is effective communication between man and a woman it will improve the connection and the sex.

Sounds like you are looking for a courtesan or paramour...I've been looking for the same for three years....came close once...or so I thought....this is an escort board...my experience has been most don't get it...or are not interested...

I think the video idea is a bit "creepy" (no offense)...I think a lot of the ladies may find it that way as well...besides how are you going to distribute it...why not just do some research...call a few ladies that seem to pique your interest talk about your needs...maybe spend a few dollars....set up an appt or two...at least you'll gain a sense of the chemistry connection...you'll never get that in a video....

hope you have better luck with it than I have...

I'm a new provider and already, I've found that being open about your wants works for me. However, once I've met a Guy and like his personality, I begin to want more regular visits from him. Been thinking about going paramour or courtesan quite a bit lately.

Many providers would be open to what you are seeking. You just have to find her! I'll share my findings as I research courtesan and paramour more. I have no idea how they advertise, but hopefully I'll find out soon!

With proper communication there is always ectasy.. I am a fan of porn FREAK thanks to clients who have visually showed me what they would like in a session and this i find a treat being that I am  able to learn things I never saw or knew thereby enhancing my sexual knowledge which I love to use . BTW I like exploring new avenues that always lead back to pleasure so I hope I get the chance to watch the video you are referring to..

Making Your Fantasies My Reality

Thalia Thumper aka The Goddess of Greek

that you and your wife are in an open relationship and that you are working so hard on finding the right provider to fit your needs and desires.    However, you can find her in other ways.    Do your research and read the reviews, when you think you have found someone that MAY fit your needs,  get in touch with a few of the gentlemen who have reviewed her and talk to them to get an even better feel for the kind of woman she is.   Then, send an email to her and "converse" a time or two.  You will quickly get an idea of what she is all about.  

It is my opinion that asking to show a video may scare most away.  There is always the fear of an LE setup and you, yourself, may unintentionally show that video to an undercover LE officer.  So, if you do that, please proceed cautiously...allow screening beforehand, for sure.  

It sounds as though you are looking for a friend and a lover.....there are many of US out here.  You just have to look.

Good luck and happy hunting!

Hugs, Belinda