This is off-topic, but there's lots of single men on here so I thought I'd ask. I have profiles on OKCupid and Match.com and think they read/look pretty good, but I send literally dozens of messages to women and get virtually no responses. I assume they get lots of messages and therefore don't bother to respond to most, but it still seems odd to me. What are other people's experiences like?
I did really well with OK Cupid but that was a few years ago. I've pretty much given up real dating.
Best thing you can do is go back over your profile and find out what you can revise or update. Maybe even ask a friend to check it out and offer tips on how to improve it. It's basically a sales pitch.
Funny thing is, I never really got many responses from the women I contacted, but enough of them contacted me based on my profile and interests that it was worthwhile to be on the site. I had a couple of fairly nice long-term relationships as a result of OK Cupid. It's important to answer as many of the questions as you can and take as many of the tests as you can or you'll never find what you're looking for.
Match was ok too. I could never bring myself to pay the fees for eharmony.
I had pretty good luck on OKC. I would say that I got responses to at least 1/3 of the messages I sent and went out with roughly 15 ladies in 6 months before ending up in a 6 month relationship with 1 of them. The key for me was writing personalized messages that hit on specific things in their profile (they universally liked this, frequently a lot) and trying to be funny whenever possible (duh...). I will also say that if a lady is extremely attractive I think they are overwhelmed with messages. I'm a pretty decent looking guy who is successful, articulate, and pretty funny in an email but women in the top 5-10% of appearance were untouchable for me. Unless you are a major stud I'd set my sights on the 75-90% (maybe 95) range of attractiveness.
The relationship I ended up in was one where the woman actually contacted me. She had a terrible photo and I almost canceled our first meeting. Ended up being a pharmaceutical sales rep who was way more attractive in person and said she intentionally chose a bad pic so people wouldn't just contact her based on looks. Talk about a needle in a haystack...
I also should point out that I'm in my 40s. If you're in your 20s or early 30s my guess is the experience is totally different.
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