Yes, Angela, I get it - if I ask a lady to come see me, give up her time, make that commitment, I need to assume some of the risk. Makes perfect sense. They key is that I am asking her to make the trip to see me.
But when there is no risk, when I am just going to see a lady, Vanica? No. And it is not a question of trust, as you make it seem. It is practicality. Paying deposits makes the whole transaction a lot more complex and greatly increaes the risk of hard feelings.
Stuff happens, so if I start giving ladies deposits, eventually one of us is going to have to cancel. Now we have a whole new transaction - what happens to the deposit? I can give you 500 messy examples, none of which are unusual, where the existence of a deposit is going to make a little problem into a big one, and quite possibly result in us never meeting again.
The absolute worst case - you retire and owe 10 guys, or more, their deposits. Do you have the money? Maybe you do, but many would not. You can't pay me, so sorry, bye bye. Then, a year later you came back. Am I going to see you? Probably not because you "ripped me off," and that is a true shame since we had such fun together. All because of a stupid deposit.
And you are more likely to get slammed here when you have to cancel, because you not only did not make it, but you also "stole" his money. So when shit happens, you need to manage it a lot more carefully than you would otherwise.
Anyway, I understand the logic of deposits, but you also need to consider how it is a wonderful way to make the normal, little problems that come up in the hobby into dealbreakers, to screw up a beautiful thing. It is not a matter of trusting you, or confidence, it is just avoiding trouble for both of us. Simple is better.
I give ladies money for services rendered, and gifts. Anything in between is asking for trouble, no matter how much I trust the lady (and I trust them all a lot, otherwise I would not risk seeing them).
zig