Let’s face it. Physical touch is much tougher to get nowadays. Even in the little ways we didn’t even realize before! If we use cash at the grocery store, they practically throw the change at us lol! Pass our card at the counter? Hand you a pen?  

Fuggedaboutit!

Even the vibrations or the small pressure of the pen as it is passed from one hand to another indicates another human being is on the other end. The connection is lost in even the tiniest ways! There is even a lot less eye contact isn’t there?

It has always been told, if a baby starts waking up, do not make eye contact. Because once you do, you make a connection and that baby will stay awake. Stuff like that matters and we're wired to feel it and respond to it.

To some, maybe nothing has changed in obvious ways. But there are a lot of changes in very small ways that I didn’t even notice until I noticed. How about you?

I noticed it recently when someone passed a pen to me. The pressure of the pen gave me a sensation that somebody was on the other side of the pen. It wasn't sexual, but it was more intimate than I was used to. It was personal when they handed me the pen.

We both kind of paused. Huh.

We usually don’t feel connected to people because we're so used to all of these things that stimulate us day in and day out. But now, there aren't even the small things, like bumping into each other in a crowd, a hand on the shoulder, a pat on the back, a secret hand-shake... a high-five... fist bump... and definitely, no hugs.

When the vaccine hits, even getting change directly into our hand from a clerk is going to be like losing our virginity, isn’t it?

How much physical touch have we lost? What do you guys think about that? Do you think that it’s had an effect on your health? On your happiness, your peace, etc.?

Do you feel more at peace or less? Do you want more touch? Or are you more sensitive to it? When you go on a date, do you notice sensory overload nowadays?

How's that going for you?

-- Modified on 12/6/2020 3:01:05 AM

I absolutely  enjoy touching, both receiving and giving.  When I am with a lady, in the back of my mind there is that little voice saying, I wonder if I will catch it this time.  And I am not talking about an STD.

It will take us all time to get back to normal before we can hug a friend, put an arm around a shoulder.  I suspect the touching sensation  will be like putting on your favorite pair of jeans.......your mind saying "yeah, I remember this, and I sure have missed it".

I enjoy giving and receiving oil massages.  The wisp of a finger moving over an area that sends chills up a spine.  Knowing my fingers can energize a body or the feel of a the ends of a ladies hair against my back.    

I want to be able to experience the sensation without the concern of COVID haunting me.   After a provider visit,  I watch the calendar closely until I have cleared the on set symptom date.  I hate it.  

People are cranky and fed up.  Once we have our true freedom back I hope folks realize the value of the little things, like touching.

Also how lucky we are to be alive, after so many have been damaged or perished.  

This should go down in history as things people wrote during the pandemic of 2020!

Especially the jeans part - I can't wait to get back into that size 4 haha!

Appreciating the little things will be amazing. It'll be even better also when we appreciate the little things on top of the things we have learned during the pandemic too. I learned some sweet skills on the guitar, I'm cooking some super yummy (and healthy,) dishes, and also have the place minimized and decorated quaint and cute.

But no boys to show it to, sadly. So it's super discouraging. All of the things we have gained and learned we took for granted, it seems like we will never get those things back. I hope we do. But if feels like we won't.

When we do, I wonder if we will feel like it might be taken away again. "The new norm" as they say. I wonder if we might even be afraid of physical touch for a while after as you say.

My parents had a word for this.....Depression Mentality.  Growing up we always had to "Clean our plates" and not waste any food.  I habit I continue to struggle with to this day.

So perhaps this generation will have a COVID mentality.  I hope not.  I was surprised at how quick folks got over 9/11, however it was an abstract event most saw only on TV.  COVID has struck close to home.  I know four people who have died from it.

People will be using less toilet paper and cooking from home lol!

I'm not so sure, because there has been a lot of week and alcohol consumption this go-round lol!

But yeah, Covid mentality with becoming hyper-sensitive to being infected.

I grew up in the 80's & 90's during the AIDS crisis (Gen X). It was taught in schools and very in your face. I'm super sensitive even to the tiniest ways it can be passed. It's much more managed nowadays, but when I hear the word, I'm like - 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Younger people talk about it like it's nothing - but I was there when people were rotting to death from the inside out. (At least that's how it was taught to us!)

We did not have AIDS in my college days, pregnancy was the risk of the day.  Got married in 1981, then she passed of cancer in 1987.  So here I am, 29 and single again, with the landscape significantly changed.

"No Love without The Glove" was the word of the day, which is not a bad habit to get into.  However we did not know exactly how HIV spread at that time, so there was a fear which kept me from exploring the world of casual sex as a working man.  No "Sex in the City" at that time.

Enjoy the conversation with you.  Stay safe.

Finally gave up and just decided that celibacy was the best option.

I definitely miss the connection.    
It definitely has impacted my health - negatively.
It has also impacted my tolerance - which is a real surprise.   I seem less willing to let things go, or at least I have to focus more on doing so.

I never really feared the Covid beast, to be honest.  Something seemed fishy about the way the news media presented it, including that iconic gray-and-red spiky thing.  I smelled a rat since day one.

As I learned in July and October of 2020, the providers I saw didn't fear it, either.  Or maybe they just chanced it to keep an income.  (Although them being young and low-risk allayed my guilty conscience.)  They were happy to see me, or at least acted so, and delivered as great a service as the providers I saw before Covid: skin-to-skin cuddling, and then some.  I walked out of the location on cloud 9 each time.  Come to think of it, the simple act of physical closeness was as enjoyable as the real reason I came for.  The taboo factor of giving the middle finger to CDC's "social distancing" was fun too.

I am refraining as best I can from  going political, however there is one bit of news I think we all can say it stinks.  

We are now being told things will go back to normal by Christmas.  We can stop wearing masks by Christmas.  First it was 100 days, now Christmas.  Christmas when, 2030?

Covid is real, one of my best friends died of it.  As of late infection rates are dropping fast.  

I am going up to the line here.........more crises, more government control.  Case in point, Wisconsin.  Last summer the WI Supreme court negated our governor's never ending state of emergency control.   Any extension must be met with the approval of the state legislature.  Governor will not play, so he took his ball and went home.  Wisconsin has been without an emergency order (except mask mandate) since.  Business and the people have taken the responsibility on themselves and rates are now  dropping VERY fast.    

COVID is real, but so are the politics of fear and repression.  You good folks of Illinois can write the book about it.

....thanks for posting on a great topic.  We'll get through this.

. . . in that I don't live alone and have close family nearby, so I haven't been totally deprived of touch. But those small things. Those little daily contacts. Yes. I miss that. As well as the occasional hug or the arm around the shoulders of a good friend. Touch means a lot to me, and I kind of feel like my soul has been undernourished these last 12,000 months or however long it's been.

I'm luckier than a lot of men.  I know a decent number of people who don't fear the Covid beast, and are still willing to shake hands, hug, and dance.  Plus, there was always the hobby, which started to return sometime in the middle of last year.  I myself frequented the lovely ladies around that time.  And my employer does a good job of protecting everyone with PPE, daily temperature checks, and more hand sanitizer than I can use in a week.

While the hobby is all well and good, the lockdowns made me appreciate the value of a platonic touch: shaking hands with a respected colleague or higher-up, hugging a good friend, or tearing up the floor with a skilled dance partner.  It's still less touch that I got before 2020, but I'm grateful to be able to have what touch I get.