This is more an extention of an earlier topic but I wanted to focus on what do think are the signs of a real addict to this hobby?

You are powerless over (insert addiction) and your life has become unmanageable.

People have varying definitions of powerlessness and unmanageability. Mine are pretty clear and that statement up there is pretty simple for me. If the joy is being sucked out of my life or I am having financial difficulties or I am finding it very tedious/overwhelming to perform day-to-day duties due to x,y or z, then x, y or z needs to get the hell out of my life.

If I cannot control x, y or z, then it controls me. I can take pleasure in an act, enjoy it and savour it, but I'll be damned before I let it take away my serenity, damage my health or cause me to lose my shirt.

No money in your bank account

I'd say a combination of the following activities:
- Having an escort session 3 or more times a month
- Checking the escort ad sites more than 4 times a week
- Checking the review boards more than 4 times a week
- Spending more than $500/month on the hobby
- Seeing on average more than 2 different escorts each month

So, an addict actually sees escorts frequently, sees multiple escorts, spends a lot of time checking escort ads and review boards, and spends a car note each month on hobbying.

- if you WANT to discover that you have the "disease" of "addiction," just go to an "open meeting" of Sex Addicts Anonymous (or whatever) and you will hear enough "experiences" to convince you that this is true.  I'm not crazy about 12-step programs but they do help a lot of people.

IMHO, it's not that complicated.  Whether there's a disease called "addiction," or it's just a behavior, if you're fuckiing up because hobbying is more important to you than it should be, you have a problem.  Instead of inquiring on this board, see an expert.

If this was something more than an academic question, good luck.

When you do the wild thing with your significant other and you leave a donation in an envelope on the nightstand.

Seriously, when you NEED to have the hobby as part of your life.  When you derive no pleasures from any other aspects of your life. Finally, I believe when you can no longer share intimacy with a SO because your focus and needs are only met within the hobby, I would say it's time to hit the 12 step.

I think that for any addiction, it has to not only consume your daily thoughts to the point where you can't focus well on anything else, but it also has to be affecting/destroying your personal and professional life.  I think seeing an escort once a month, or every other month is pretty low key.  But my situation is different than guys who are younger, wealthier, and with more freedom.   The tip about going to a 12 step sex addict meeting is great.  You'll see some people there who have really hit the skids bad, and you can then put your situation into context.  

It's a lot like any other addiction:  If it's having an adverse effect on your life -- finances, relationships, whatever -- then I'd say you have a problem.  But it's very much relative.  I have unmarried friends who are multimillionaires, do not want a committed relationship, and pursue the hobby because it satisfies their needs.  They can well afford it.  On the other hand, if you're a middle class guy and are dipping into savings (especially your kid's college funds) to see providers, don't care to have sex with your wife because she doesn't measure up to providers you've seen, and think about the hobby every day, then I'd say you are probably addicted.  If this is the case, there is help available.

* After an hour of sex with your girlfriend, you either get up to leave or ask if you can extend.

* You invite your girlfriend over and specify outcall.

* When talking about what you like sexually with a new girlfriend, you tell her you enjoy GFE with DATY and BBBJTCIM using initials.

* When you call your girlfriend for a date, you specify a day, time and either an hour or hour and a half.  "Are you available Friday night at 5 for 1 hour?"

* During sex with your girlfriend, you ask if greek is extra.

* You tell your girlfriend you would have given her a 10 for performance, but she doesn't offer greek.

* )ou ask your girlfriend to whitelist you and inquire as to whether you can use her as a reference.

* When you meet a woman at a bar and want to give her your phone number, you also give her your P411 I.D.

* If your girlfriend has an attractive friend, you inquire about the cost of a doubles.

* You call your longterm girlfriend from her driveway or parking lot to tell her you have arrived and ask for the room number

* You bring a plain white envelope filled with cash to your girlfriend's place and put it on the coffee table in plain sight.

* You tip your girlfriend when you leave.
* You ask your girlfriend if she offers multiple cups.

* You ask a woman you meet at a bar if she has any reviews.

* You give a lady your "hobby phone" number.

And the biggest clue that the hobby is affecting your dating life..

* Your girlfriend forgets your date and doesn't call and you post a thread on your local TER Board about a NC/NC.

You are hilarious.... one day... one day..

Don't say ....

Posted By: joe_shabotz

You are hilarious.... one day... one day..

Having 303 Provider Okay's on P411 from the last 2yrs!! All I can say is wow, you have stamina